Monday 19 November 2012

Tears don't solve problems but darling, it's OKAY to cry!

We all know tears don't solve problems but i tell you from personal experience it is okay to cry, its okay to break down and its okay to fall apart every now and again. Its all perfectly okay. However the most important thing you must remember is to pick yourself up,dust up and get ready for round two because as long as we are living,problems are bound to waltz their way into our lives. As  you pick and dust yourself don't forget that every fall is a lesson learnt and every scar tells a story. A story that says you were wounded but you survived. You are a survivor.

I might be young but I have gone through some trying times and for me to tell you to cry when you want to means i totally understand what it feels like to bottle it all up and never letting it out. You don't have to tell the world your problems because they will never give you a solution. Cry all you want and shed all the tears you want but whatever you do - Let it go.

Don't be ashamed to cry, cry when your heart is troubled and cry whenever you have to. While some will look upon tears as a sign of weakness I can assure you that shedding tears is not a sign of weakness. You can only act strong for so long before the tears come rolling down. There is no point in acting strong when deep inside you are breaking in pieces, Cry and let it out. After a good cry I always feel better, you should try it sometimes. What do you prefer? To look like superman from the outside and inside you're like jelly? No, you don't have to be strong for anyone else but yourself. So refuse to be troubled by what people will think of your tears. Inwardly you know your hurting so cry if you must. You're only human.

Quote
“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” 
― Charles DickensGreat Expectations

Tears is from the heart and the heart is a deep place where so many emotions are stored. Emotions that are  often unspoken,emotions that we have been bottling up for so long,emotions that we don't want anyone to hear of. So when that feeling of crying overcomes you don't suppress it. Its unbelievable how relieved one feels after a good cry. Tears can relieve so much pain and stress.

We've all gone through those times, times when we feel like our world is crumbling down and there is  no one to turn to. Times when it feels like the sun refuses to shine and times when we feel so unloved and all we crave is a hug and someone to say its going to be al-right  - Financial troubles, disappointment,  sickness, a failed direct debit, a car that refuses to start in the morning,court cases, bailiffs knocking your front door down, Kids not keeping well, a failed relationship, losing a loved one,unemployment, unfulfilled dreams .....the list goes on.

We can't do it on our own. that's why we have a God above us, where we can cast all our burdens, and turn to for help in times of trouble. He can lift us up when we least expect it and HE is always the answer. He is able for with Him nothing is impossible. I know the hardest thing to do is to Praise God when you're going through tough times and the only question that comes to your mind is ''Why Me?'' but we have to believe that God gives his toughest battle to his strongest soldiers who can endure. He never gives you a burden that you cannot carry. He is able.

Remember, crying is not a sign of weakness and don't forget we cry when we're happy too. So next time you feel that overwhelming urge to cry,please don't hesitate to let it all out. Don't forget to dust and pick yourself up and more importantly don't be a fool, learn from every bad situation.

Till then..let it flow.
xoxo

Monday 30 April 2012

Money Talks! Does it Really??

''Money talks, Bullshit walks.'' OK!

I am sure that 99% of us have heard and used this quote, even me! (ain't gonna lie) But I'm coming to realised that most of these quotes are just there to make people feel hard and gangsta-like ( don't lie we all have them days were you just wanna grunt like Rick Ross and walk like Biggie Smalls) i know i do. Especially when i am listening to my gangster songs on my ipod...sad life!


I'll say the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.

Let us get back to the money talks quote. I understand that the society we live in is rotten and devoid of all its value it ever had due to the love of money. People will lie for you, lie to you and even bend backwards for money. People will throw away all what they were taught as a child and degrade themselves to an irreparable level, just because of money. I grew up in Africa and i have seen these things..yep i have. Live too,no Hollywood or Nollywood business. It does happen. Money makes people forget all life's values and i don't just mean the lack of money but also the presence of money does that to people. It is a shame, but money does have a very loud voice in some people's lives especially when their next meal depends on it.


Only if you give it the power to - You are in control.

Money may have a voice in some people's lives and situation, yes i agree but only if you allow it to. Those who believe in life's morals and refuse to succumb to the pressures of this world, still hold their grounds.I personally say BRAVO to such species. One thing i have noticed though is that you have the rich and you have the wealthy. Trust me there is a big difference between the two. The rich act like Money is everything and flashes it at every single opportunity they get because they ain't used to it while the wealthy on the other hand don't even need to make a force,you actually notice them, when they walk pass you, you ''take two'' like a amateur photographer. Now that is what i define as money!

Looking at society, Money does have a voice to an extent, infact to a very large extent but you have to put a cap on it or else you will eventually lose it! Like mentally. Don't get me wrong, everyone wants to have money in abundance, including me but its the power that we give to it that makes it evil and that is what i am against. Dont allow money to talk in your life, you speak to your money..afterall who work and earns it through hard labour?? If money masters your life,hmmm you my friend is finished!

However, when it comes to matters of the heart, like love and relationship, money MUST never have a voice. I cannot emphasis this enough. The moment you give voice to money, the relationship loses its value and the bullshit grow legs and starts to walk hence the other half of the quote. To be frank you shouldn't be in a relationship if money is all that counts. Come to think of it, there is a name for people like you if all your Small mind thinks about is money. Now this issue on its on is an entire blog. (Watch This Space)


I thank God for the way i was brought up. I was brought up in Sierra Leone by my grandmother in a very large family where we didn't have the best of everything but we made the most out of every single situation, no matter what. You guys would probably won't understand but money was never an issue. Not because we had it overflowing in the bank or under our pillows, but because we had each other and looked out for each other. We carried each other and up to this day, we are one another's keeper. Now show me the space for Money to have a voice or for bullshit to walk. No Chance! One thing is for sure we would have given Bullshit crutches long time ago! We never made money an issue because when its all said and done, when the curtains are pulled down, when the going gets tough, its only LOVE that will pull us through. Money is not everything! Love is greater than money. Yea i know some people will disagree but in my world, Money is definitely not everything. Money will only be your everything if you allow it to be.

My Family : ....and this is not even a fraction of us!

In some situation that you may  be faced with in life, all you  need is a winning personality, other times all the recipient needs is your trust therefore money is essential but it is the combination of so many other things and attributes that gets you the result. You will never know this till you are in a situation where money doesn't make a difference.

Remember:

MONEY TALKS...yes! ( But only if you give it a voice!)

BULLSHIT WALKS.... No way, Hosay!

Till then...xoxo







Wednesday 18 April 2012

Recipe For Success




I came across this post on one of the social websites and i thought to share. Hope it inspires you in a way. I found it very inspiring and true in many ways than one. All of them are very beneficial towards the pursuit of success but my favourite one would have to be ''Think Creatively'' It might surprise you but so many people have succeeded in life through creative thinking and they are very well known in society. Example of some of these people will have to be Steve Job (RIP) for the invention of Apple products and Bill Gates for the invention of Microsoft. These are just two prominent people in society that lived to make a mark through creative thinking.

This goes to show that we must never underestimate ourselves. If the above great men had, i don't think I'll be mentioning them on here today. So many other people are making a decent living out of their creativity and creativity means someone is actually enjoying what they do..its called talent. What better way to make a living than doing your hobby or past time?

 It is sometimes a very tricky thing - discovering our talent and i can't say for sure i have discovered mine but i know i have discovered my passion. Our talent and passion can easily be mixed up in the journey of discovering our talent but don't you worry, you are not alone.

Discover your talent and go on to make a fortune if you can. What is holding you back?

Till then..xoxo




Wednesday 11 April 2012

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told



I have come to realise that, Love is a tad overrated these days. Yes it is. People use the word so frequently that it has lost its meaning in most cases. However, Methinks there is still hope for True love but none beats the one Jesus portrayed on the cross for a poor wretched sinner like me. For me that is the ultimate love story.

Jesus died for us sinners on the cross. In the bible,John 3:16 stated that for God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son, that who so ever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. (Pay attention to the word ''ONLY'') This verse in the bible pretty much summed up the crucifixion of Jesus.

Of all my 20 something years i have never known of a love so real and so true that someone will lay their lives for me, but Jesus did it for me on the cross and i am grateful. I know so many people look forward to Easter and still oblivious to the reason for the season. The reason for Easter is the celebration that Christ rose from the grave on the third day thereby giving Christians hope for the future. It's all good to mount your kites, go on several trips and plan which clubs would be playing the latest banger but please know the reason for the celebration and refuse to be ignorant when knowledge is available.

Jesus Christ was not only crucified, he was mocked, spat on,ridiculed, beaten and asked to carry his own cross ( that cross signifies our sins ). In the process he fell three times, with a crown of thorns on his head and hands were pierced with nails and hanged on the cross to die. All this he did so you and i can have eternal life. Now do you know of anyone that will go through such torture for you? Do you really? If you ask me i don't know of anyone that will sacrifice their lives for me...nope no one! And to be honest, i haven't seen the person i am going to die for yet. Is it even happening??
If you see that person please tell him/her i want an autograph before they die!

This brings me to the point that, if Jesus who was the son of God was talked about, ridiculed and whipped for no reason at all, who am i to loose sleep when humans talk evil of me or provoke me? Who am i? This just encouraged me and teaches me to turn a blind eye and don't give them the time of the day. A lot of us wants the glory but without the crown. Through Jesus' journey, i learnt that for glory to arise, one must carry the crown. That way you will learn to appreciate whatever the glory brings because you went through blood and sweat to achieve it. Nowadays we see people doing anything within their possible means to achieve, no one wants to work for it, no one want to wait for their time. It might surprise you but anything you haven't worked for will not last and you will never appreciates its true value. We all can pick a leaf out of the story of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ, there is a lot to be learnt.

With that, i hope everyone had a lovely and blessed Easter. Mine was quietly spent with the family and we later went out for some Chinese (My favourite Cuisine)



One question that have been puzzling me....What does Easter has to do with eggs and bunnies?

Please enlighten me. :)

Till then..xoxo

Thursday 29 March 2012

How To Have A Lovely Day!







I came across this brilliant post and I thought to share. I find every step relevant and true. My favourite is number 2.
What's your favourite one?

Stay Positive and always look on the brighter side of life and if you can't see the brighter side, a wise man once said polish the dull side.

Its all part of growing up. Take every step in your stride and remember,one day at a time. Its not always about who finishes first, it is about the journey and how much you learn from it. Now that is what I call winning.


keep Smiling my lovelies..xXx


Sunday 25 March 2012

Weekend Quote

Life is like Party




















Life is like one big party.
You invite a lot of people.
Some go and some join you.
Some laugh with you and some don't come.
But in the end after the fun,
there would be a few who would help you clean up the mess,
and most of the time,
those are the  uninvited guests.


Be watchful of who you give a space in your life. They can make or break you.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend
:)xXx

Monday 19 March 2012

Settling? But Why? Is that all you are worth?

Settling..hmmm *Shakes Head*

This is becoming a growing issue in our society. The sad thing about it is when I see abled, promising young people settling for less than they deserve at the same time wasting their lives away when they deserve so much more. But why?

What I define as settling is when someone decides to forget their value and decides to compromise for less than they deserve. Do you know the damage that does to you? It eats you up gradually from the inside,mentally and physically and by the time you wake up from your slumber,My friend it's a minute too late!



Settling.... no child of mine will be settling for trash when he or she deserves the rich red meat! The only time you will catch me settling for less is when I am haggling a price and that is because I am at an advantage at the end of the day. If I feel depressed or suppressed in any situation,I am finding the nearest exit, yes the nearest one because I value my life and my happiness more than anything. I am worth it...oh yes I know this! Sometimes trying to force what is never meant to be is a recipe for disaster and ultimately self destruct.

The way settling is becoming a trend is just crazy, I say crazy because i don't see any reason for someone to be settling regardless of your situation in life which is normally the most common excuse for screw ups. An awfully large amount of people are settling but they are unaware. Times are hard I get it, but nothing is worth your freedom and rights,above all things your life! Your life is a gift to you from God,so please act like it is priceless and handle it like it is Golden. Let no man tell you otherwise,regardless of the part they play in your life.

I can think of a million and one reasons as to why people settle but that still doesn't mean it is right or that it makes any sense.There is no justifiable excuse for settling,yes I said it. Life is full of problems and setbacks and  until you learn to tackle life's problems for yourself, settling for less in someone's life ain't going to make them go away. You  might think you are living life in the safe lane by accepting whatever is thrown at you from all angle but I tell you now that you are in fact living life dangerously. Dangerously because you are clearly setting your future up for a disaster because when the comfort carpet is swept from underneath your feet,what are you going to fall back on?

People settle under different circumstances for various reasons such as money, age, power, time, fear, ignorance, cultural beliefs,  poverty and so many others, to name but a few.

Let us look at the most common situation where people settle for less. I guess you all know it has to be relationship or if you have another circumstance please let me know in the comment below, after all we are all learning and i am a willing learner. :)

I am not an expert in relationship but one thing i know for sure is i don't settle for anything less than I deserve in any kind of relationship, no matter how handsome or rich the guy is or how promising the situation looks. Nothing holds me down in a bad relationship,if the guy ain't acting right, I'm out. I see many people in a bad relationship and they claim to be in love. Love at the expense of your life? Is it worth it? You are living under the same roof with a cheating scum who you have been engaged to for 5 or more years and he still haven't come to the scene where he puts a ring on the finger and yet you take care of his 2 kids,cook,clean and wash his dirty linings. Do you think this person values your life? You are taking all this from him in the name of love but do you think he truly loves you? Think!
The constant deceit and lies is bad for your health and self esteem. At this rate, you are better off on your own. Don't go thinking you are a ride or die chick,My friend recognise the difference between being dumb fool and being loyal to your man. Don't stay in a bad relationship and convince yourself that you are doing it for the kids...even the kids won't be happy to see their mum unhappy. Love yourself and walk away!




OK so you are fast approaching your ''sell by date'' as a woman and if Mr Right don't come along soon you will happily settle for gramps! Really?!?  Let me just quickly add, there aint nothing like a sell by date. As a woman if you have been living a decent life and taking the utmost care of yourself, tell me why you wouldn't be in good shape? Settling won't make you happy so why settle at all? Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves questions and when you start answering them then you will see how blind you have been and how much you have undervalued your life. So you managed to bag any guy that first came along, regardless of his baggage, why? His baggage could be your one step to death! That is why I personally think every woman or man must seek God first and all other things will be added. Some battles might appear easy on the eye but we just can't win them single handedly...We need the hand of God! You will be surprised when the right person will come along at the right time when you least expected it - No fuss, no pain just a perfect fit. Don't settle!

So you want the whole she-bang at a certain age. The perfect guy/woman, Kids, Big house, Good job et al. That is all well and good till you decide to get it at all cost even if that means settling for less. Sleeping with the boss, back-biting on your colleagues, stealing, dishonesty, PHD syndrome (Pull Him Down) etc. Why oh why would you do that to yourself? Degrading yourself from all angle. Slap yourself!!
We plan our lives out even as a young kid growing up but that does not mean it is going to pan out that way. As long as you are working hard at achieving your dreams, you are in the right path even if things don't happen at your pace. Patience is a virtue,exercise it in your life instead of settling. Marriage,kids and prosperity are all given by God - Seek his face!

Cultural beliefs presents us with so many limitations in life and yet we succumb to all its rules and regulation. This can also be down as ignorance. Cultural clash and beliefs. Don't marry her because she is from that family or she is from that part of the village. Don't marry him because his family has a history of witchcraft and ill luck or because he is from a poor family so you can't get married. So you are forced to bottle your feelings and emotions till your parents see a suitor that is suitable for you. What about your choice and what you want? Is that not important? You decide to settle for whoever your parents see fit for you even though you might deserve better. This is not right!

A young, able and talented individual being treated like a black plastic bag ( ie a cheap, worthless, replaceable bin bag with little or no use) by his/her partner because they depend on them for their next meal. You lazy cow! Why would you do this to yourself when you are more than capable of providing for yourself if you put the work in? You decide to take all the crap from this person just because your livelihood depend on them. Now you are settling due to your laziness. What happened to being independent and finding your own? Go out and find a job,no matter what type of job it is. You will be respected for the mere fact that you  have a job. It is a job, it feeds you and pays the bills what do you care what anyone thinks? Get a job and stop being treated like a charity case.

Settling is really is bad, the moment you decide to settle for less that is exactly what you are going to receive. You deserve the finest things in life why go for mediocre?



YOU DESERVE THE FINEST LINING, REFUSE TO SETTLE FOR RAGS IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE!
Forget what you want & remember what you truly deserve!



You were designed for greatness. Wake up and smell the coffee. If it means going to Specsavers to purchase the best pair of specs money can buy to see that you deserve the best, I beg please do so.

Know The Difference!


Thursday 8 March 2012

AFRICA STAND UP!

I woke up this morning and my Time line was flooded with videos,updates and posts about Kony.  Kony, I began to wonder? The name didn't ring the slightest of bells. I was baffled at the automatic flood that just took over both my Twitter and Facebook so i decided to have a read and watch the video to get a better insight on what Kony was all about. To my disappointment i found out he is a man not even worth knowing but because of his atrocious activities, he deserved to be all up on my time line and I don't mind.

Joseph Kony is the leader of the Lord's Resistance Army (L R A) in Uganda. This man is accused of using children for over 22 years now to satisfy his selfish desires through outrageous activities such as murder,mutilation and sexual enslavement. Kony abducts and kidnaps kids and heartlessly uses the girls as sex slaves and train the boys to become child soldiers. Due to his activities he is seen as one of the worst war criminals. In my books this guy is nothing but a rebel and a heartless menace and justice must be done. His actions are unimaginable!

Joseph Kony
The Man Who Thought The World Revolves
around him
22 years is a long time and to think that thousands of children in Uganda have been going through such torture is sad, really sad. This exposure by Jason Russell who is a Co.Founder of Invisible Children has generated some questions in my mind which i am struggling to find answers to.

  • How come Joseph Kony wasn't exposed before now? 
  • Are people scared of him and the consequences of his exposure?
  • Where are the leaders and government in Uganda and what were they doing?
  • Why do we have to wait on the western world to highlight our problems in Africa before it becomes paramount?
  • How valuable is our children of today in our eyes?
  • Where is the future for Africa? 
  • ''The children are our future'' does this phrase mean anything at all to anyone?

How Kony and gang got away with murder for years i still can't comprehend. An issue like this shouldn't be turned a blind eye to neither should it be in the dark. I don't normally involve in political stories of any kind but this story hit home. Coming from a country that has suffered in the hands of wrong leadership and war,i know the consequences are never a good one and for those reasons being, I decide to expose Kony and his deadly activities in my own little way possible. I can assure you that there are lots of other African countries suffering from similar plight but who is going to put the bell on the cat, that is the big question. I can't believe i haven't seen this in the news,not even once before now and the Ugandan government didn't bother to raise awareness,even if they cant do anything about it.

The way forward is exposure as Jason and team rightly did. If it wasn't for his brave step of exposure, I and thousand other people would still be in the dark and those poor kids' lives was diminishing as the seconds go by. Jason and team didn't have all the money in the world or all the connections but what they had was a drive. A drive to rescue these children from the wrath of Kony. They raise and awareness and look what they created,even the snail knows something is boiling up on planet earth. That is the power of exposure. They have decided to use people with influence such as celebrities,athletes and billionaires to get the message across and eventually put a STOP to Kony. This is a problem in an African country but people from all over the world,Australia,Mexico etc are doing their bits to raise awareness and doing all they can to stop Joseph Kony. Unity is strength and there is strength in number.

Below is a video of a brief but concise insight into the world of Kony and gang. (LRA)



This story created a storm in me. I was shattered, shocked and angry at the same time just to think that his could have stopped time ago if someone acted when they should have. Watching the video I heard the kids speaking with not an iota of hope in their voices. This just killed me because i know the situation must have been so bad that death was seen as a better option. How sad! Even Jason's son who is just a baby, described the situation as SAD!
I applaud Jason Russell and team for this brave step of exposure. I really do and thanks for setting a bright example for our leaders in Africa.

Africa needs to stand up. The children are the future and it is vital they are cared for and looked after in order to protect our future. If we neglect issues relating to the kids what kind of future are we building for our continent. Neglect is deadly and fatal. We must learn to address issues as they are discovered and stop turning a blind eye. I'm sure Uganda wasn't oblivious to this situation but they did nothing till Jason made his first step. Do we always have to be served on a platter OR wait for our table to be prepared for us? Do we always have to wait for the western world to highlight our problems before it can be seen as an issue? The answer is no. Its time we stand up if you ask me and the time is now!



Unity is Strength
&
colour is of no importance


You can join in and spread the word too in your own little way as i just did. You're not too small or too poor to create an awareness so get a move on and do your bits.

#CountYourselfBlessed

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Mid Week Inspiration

My Lovely people, hope you all are keeping well.

Just a quick not that i haven't abandoned my baby (blog) ..it's just that i have some life changing happenings in my life but I will definitely keep you updated pretty soon.

Looking back at how my past 2 weeks have been filled with all sorts, it inspired me in a way that brought about this phrase.

''Life is like a tea spoon of sugar, just when you think you got it all in the cup....It spills everywhere,making it almost impossible to get it all back in the tea cup.''

For me, that sums up life. Sometimes we think we have everything covered and under control so we get comfortable and then life gives us a slap from the back of our head .....a wake up call!
Sometimes its just to say WAKE UP! Other times its just to gives us hope and remind us that all is not lost, Sometimes its just to say I hope you have LEARNT your lesson. Or it might just be to CHEER us up and remind us not to be too hard on ourselves ....with that i just want to add that every now and again we have to look in the mirror and appreciate the person we see on there. Applaud yourself,tap yourself on the shoulder and whisper to yourself ''WELL DONE''!!

This has nothing to do with arrogance or pride, this is taking care of yourself, if you don't who will or how will you look after someone else?

This little light of Mine,
i'm gonna let it shine...

With that my lovely friends i say Good Night and you have the best week ever! ( What's stopping you?)
Go on and make it happen.

Xoxo


Tuesday 28 February 2012

CHOICE ~ RIP Whitney Houston

Choice...this is a very powerful tool available to everyone and yes i mean everyone, no matter the race or belief.  It's vital that we utilise it to the best of our abilities while we can whenever necessary. It doesn't cost you anything and but if when we fail to make the right choice at the right time, we pay the price!


I have decided to use ''The Legend'' ( well through my lens ) Whitney Houston as an example of how choice was wrongly used or should i say neglected?

Whitney Houston in my eyes is the greatest female singer ever lived and She was  effortlessly  brilliant and talented both in singing and in her acting career. In the movie ''The Bodyguard'' she proved to be a genius. That is just one of her films i watch time and time again tirelessly. This woman raised the bar in the music industry and catching up is almost looking impossible. She was simply a genius!

Whitney Houston
 August 1963 -  February 2012
She started off as young girl singing in her local church, with so much potential. It didnt take long for her to be spotted by one of the mogul in the music industry,Clive Davies.  She went on to produce good music and was a household name in no time and I think I can confidently say she is still a house hold name,even in death. She rose to fame in a twinkle of an eye but its only natural for someone with such amazing talent. Imagine such huge transformation.
No matter how we look at it, singing in the church and singing in front of thousand of people is a massive step and the question of acceptance always hangs in the air of whether they are going to love you or not. Struggle for acceptance in such industries is a battle in itself. But being the talented woman that she was she rose to the challenged and she was loved universally. You can't hide talent. In as much as she was coping well in the eyes of her fans and bosses, in her quiet moments i think there would be times she just long for a normal life,you know the kind she was used to. The safe,quiet life of the local church singer which is almost impossible when you become a public figure.

Whitney was described as her own person by her family, She never confided in anyone and just took things in her stride. Imagine all the pressures of the industry she had to cope with, she still never confided in anyone. Surely there must be a solace, a place, or thing where she goes to find peace and tranquillity.  Not very long she was reported caught with drugs. It wasn't hard to see that,That became ''the solace'' Now this is bad news. This is when the talent starts to decline. Its pretty obvious that when you mix drugs with anything the end result is an absolute disaster. There is no two ways about it. It will drain you and leave you breathless! This went from bad to worst and she openly confessed to taking drugs. She started showing up in interviews looking buck wild and speech became slurry by the minute. Shows and tours were being cancelled as she wasn't physically up to it. Frequently been caught at airports with drugs and crack! Yes this is bad news, especially for someone with such  a m a z i n g  talent. To add salt to injury,Bobby Brown whom she fell in love with and got married to was already a drug addict.

Remember this woman, from a church singer to an international singer, thrown into the industry with little or no experience of the big world and somehow she coped in her own way but only to a point. To a point till she found drugs. Under the influence, she would be in another world, a different zone, a place where she is stress free.... her place of solace. This she sought out whenever she needed a friend, the drugs would act like a friend when the going gets tough and a place of consolation. The drugs transformed from a place of solace to a habit and then to an addiction, although in her eyes, she defined her drugs taking as ''a bad habit'' as opposed to an addiction. Now this is where the problem gets real. Refusal to admit that yes she was suffering from a serious problem called addiction. The moment refusal comes in,the problem just gets real and help is almost impossible because you can't help someone who don't want to be helped,neither can you save a drowning cow that claims to be swimming!

Whitney Houston went from bad to worst and this resulted in a career decline. The pressures became too much and she wasn't coping well at all. I am not saying the cause of her death was drugs but it played a great part in it....a very great part.

People are blaming Bobby Brown her ex husband. Fair enough he was a drug addict as well and wasn't a good influence on the singer in no way as he himself has a track record of court cases and endless arrests. They say show me your friends and i'll tell you who you are,fact! Therefore, I am not ruling Bobby Brown out of the picture. He played a part as well because sometimes when people we love tell us to stop, we actually do listen. He could have been a pillar of support but unfortunately he was a weak pillar himself so he can't possibly support anyone else.

However Whitney Houston had a very powerful tool available to her which was CHOICE. The choice was hers to make whether she should take drugs or not and whether she should succumb to the pressures of the media or not. Bear in mind that the singer was few years older than Bobby Brown as well. She could have walked away and look to God for help when things become unbearable. Confide in someone or better still look where she came from so she'll know where she was heading. The choice was hers to make. The choice was in the palm of her hands but was neglected. I am not judging this woman but Whitney didnt have to find a solace in drugs, God was her solace. As she sang in her song ''I look to you''


Whitney Houston - I Look To You.
This is such an inspiring song!



I believe one of the reasons she fell in love with Bobby Brown was because they both shared something in common which was this drugs. When you find someone who does the same stuff as you or love the same things as you, you tend to grow an extra ordinary bond which i believe existed between the pair. I say extra ordinary because their relationship was one that was never understood,justified or accepted by the public, bearing in mind Bobby's past. But personally I think Whitney's decline was solely down to her and she had 100% control over it until she decided that she was going to give up on her self. Shame that was, as she had so many people looking up to her which she was oblivious to.

Her life I would say is a lesson,even in death. A very valuable lesson to all.
Few things to bear in mind:

  • You might not know but you have at least one person looking up to you
  • Embrace your talent
  • Associate yourself with people who pull you upwards
  • There is no price for living your life in the fast lane
  • Crack kills
  • Choice is a powerful tool - Use it
  • Don't succumb to the pressures of this world
  • God is our ultimate solace
  • When the going gets tough, Look To God

I know everyone is fighting some kind of battle, but it's how we deal with it that really matters. Fight with the last bone in your body and come out more than a conqueror. When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long.

Have a Victorious Week everyone.

Till then....
xoxo

Monday 20 February 2012

Weekend Quote

The Power Of The Extreme

Happiness needs Sadness
Love needs Hatred
Smile needs Tears
Victory needs Defeat
Light needs darkness
Good needs Bad
Success needs Struggles
Pleasure needs Pain
A calm sea needs a rough sea

You must experience and accept the extremes in order to appreciate the simple things in life. If the contrast is lost,you lose appreciate and value of everything!



My adorable nephew Ryan enjoying the simple things in life, such as
Football which he absolutely loves!








Enjoy and appreciate the little things in life because they make up the BIGGER PICTURE.



Have a Favoured week ahead!

Wednesday 15 February 2012

February 14, Guess who's riding solo?

A lot of people can't even remember their parents' birthday but February 14 is a date they never forget,especially the teenagers (not picking on you guys..i promise) What is it?

Saint Valentine's Day
  • Valentine's day is hyped worldwide but is that a good thing or a bad thing? 
  • The pressures of Valentines day and all the expenses that comes with ..is it worth it? 
  • Is your love forever or just meaningful for one day?
  • Are you that bored in your relationship that you have to look forward to Valentine's day for excitement?

All these questions springs to mind when Valentine's day approaches.

I love valentines day, (yes i'm a sucker for love) in as much as it comes with so much drama, I still look forward to the day. Its another chance to show the one you love that you care. I know people say ''oh we do it everyday'' let me just say, that is a big lie! (please take a seat) Right in the middle of life's chaos, we do forget to show it sometimes.So I'll call it another chance. 

However i think its overly commercialised....every advert on my telly has something to do with Valentine's day and every shop find a way to associate the day with their products and we stupidly fall for it. Yes we do. We go to the extent of buying chocolate that we don't even like just because we want to feel the spirit of February 14! Ha..please ask yourself, is this life? We put ourselves in unnecessary expenses and spend money we don't have ....it shouldn't be that way. You can show someone you care without breaking the bank and likewise the amount of money spent on that day on a flimsy present doesn't scream how much you love and care for an individual. Love sensibly!
What about the pressures of being in a relationship on Feb 14? 
I feel sorry for individuals who think that way because you are clearly setting your self up for a disaster. OK you managed to get yourself a guy/ a lady because its the Feb 14th soon and all your friends are in a relationship. Great .Well done. Clap for yourself!! The day comes and you spend your hard earned cash or maybe an emergency loan you can't even afford on the most expensive gift and a luxurious dinner in a dress or suit you afford. When the night is over, if you are lucky you get a well earned kiss ( but do you have to work that hard for a kiss??) or maybe something more but what happens the morning after? The question is was it worth it, are you going to be single or still in the most expensive relationship you have ever been in? I hope you can afford to feed yourself till your next pay day or if you depend on Mum & Dad's bank, that would always be there for you...so there you go.Not forgetting the loan shark!!

One thing i noticed this past Valentine's day is the day's got loads of haters and loads of bitter people too just chilling and hating on love. WHY?? Stop the hate parade! If you are single on Valentine's day,its not a crime! Why can't you live like a king or queen for the day and treat yourself like the gold you are? Why do you sulk and bestow self pity upon yourself on this particular day? If you feel lonely on Valentine's day, the chances are you've been lonely for a good part of your life and only notices it when the world decides to celebrate love. Well i got news for ya, you can Valentine yourself too..its all looove! Maybe, just maybe right in the middle of loving yourself,you might just get hit by Cupid. Yep... because its only when you embrace life that life will embrace you too.

My dear,you don't have to be in a relationship for valentine's day,remember the day only last for 24 hours. Don't succumb to the pressures of this world,build a mind of your own and think of your heart too. Your heart doesn't deserve all this trouble just for day!

Those in a relationship, why wait for a particular date to show your better half that you care? Love is just not for Valentine's day,its for every passing moment. Maybe,just maybe if we endeavour to show our love ones how much we care and look at it as a duty rather than a chore then Valentine's day wouldn't be so much of a big deal. 

The player...oh dear, this day must be a dilemma for you. Who's going get the dinner date, who's going to get the award winning lie of the year,who's going to get the P45 and who's going to get hired? Decision, Decision, Decision. Must be hard for you but i guess you chose that life so live with it, but it shouldn't be that way. Get a grip young man/woman. Why make your life this hectic? 

On the bright side,one beautiful thing about Valentine's day is the way it's recognised world wide. Yes worldwide, despite the language barrier, colour, age,race and beliefs people both near and far recognise and celebrate the day.  It brings people closer knowing that we all share something in common which is love. Yes..love is universal and everyone recognises it. Isn't it just beautiful?



Remember to show the ones you love that you care every passing moment and don't wait for Valentine's day for a reminder.

Monday 13 February 2012

Weekend Quote

Being with no one is better than being with the wrong person,
sometimes those who fly solo has the strongest wings.
Happiness is a choice and can be found in the darkest of times...
if only we remember to turn the lights on.
Bring your happy out.....no matter the situation.

Have a fulfilled week ahead. 




Wednesday 8 February 2012

The Bucket List

This is my Bucket List....( Inspired by the 2007 movie The Bucket List, directed by Rob Reiner,Starring Morgan Freeman & Jack Nicholson) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0825232/

Bucket list i guess derived from the phrase ''to kick the bucket'' which means to die. So the Bucket list is simply a list of things or should i say dreams that you wish to achieve before the death bell.

Sometimes in life, we are hindered by so many things such as Fear,money,family & friends, time, religion & beliefs, insecurities and sometimes we are just waiting for that perfect time. There is no perfect time, if it happens allow it to take it course and enjoy every bit of it. Other times we are held back by the fear of failure, well i always say if you don't try, you will never know. Your life is yours to live and if anything, make a vow to yourself that you will live it to the best of your abilities. Taking risks is a vital part of living life and just in case you haven't noticed, life itself is a risk and a big one too....so live a little and give all setbacks a back kick!

Having said that,here lies my Bucket List. Some are fears and some are just mere adventures and utter bravery but again, some to you might seem like a piece of cake. It all depends on the individual i guess.
However,this will be a regularly updated list as i'll be striking them out as they are achieved.

Here goes, in no particular order (in my X-Factor voice)

  • Learn how to Swim
  • Learn how to ride a bicycle (Don't ask me what i was doing during my childhood)
Just a quick incidence. It was my friend's birthday and she decided to do pub crawl and guess what we were meant to do this Pub crawl by..a bicycle!! Great! I was the only one who couldnt ride. The younger ones were riding on their own and i had to be illegally towed by my cousin half way through and had to walk the rest of the journey. Now i have never wished for a better time to know how to ride a bicycle. The closest i got to riding a bicycle was captured from the picture above. Sad times i tell ya!


  • Learn how to drive a car (automatic of course, i like easy life)
  • Write my own book (Just One)
  • Open my own business ( the idea is but a dream but you'll hear all bout it In Jesus Name)
  • Meet and shake hands with Usher Raymond ( I have liked that singer since i was a child)
  • Save a Life (animal or human)
  • Buy a house and fill it with love and laughter ( Africa or abroad...doesn't matter )
  • Adopt a Child
  • Make a difference in someone's life at least once a month. (I really want to)
  • Read the entire bible ( started when i was a child but i think i got distracted)
  • Distinguish the difference between my right and left in matter of seconds (What a shame aye?)
  • Be a pro in at least one sport. ( maybe basketball & maybe not a pro but at least to a level where i can boast. sad!)
  • Get married to someone i love ( I am human...& some might not see this as an achievement but marry the wrong person then you'll learn!)
  • Ride a horse (Help me Baby Jesus!)
  • Ride in a Limousine (yes!)
  • Spend a weekend in the poshest hotel with a loved one. ( a girl gotta live! )
  • Learn how to speak one more language Fluently (Preferably Spanish or French...don't ask why)
  • Have healthy Kids (Of Course..maybe 2)
  • Own my very own designer bag ( i'm not a vain person but i'll love a Louis Vuitton bag)
  • Learn how to play at least one musical instrument ( preferably the Piano..so far my expertise stops at Do Re Mi )
  • Overcome my fear of heights ( Scary business )
  • Go on Bungee Jumping (I'm not scared but i'll love the adventure)
  • Travelling and i mean loads of it.( China,Spain,Egypt,Brazil,Ghana,Tanzania, and so many others)
  • Learn how to cook a Chinese dish..(especially King Prawn Fried Rice) YUM!
  • Visit Disney ( Yes, and act like a kid for a day, a whole day without a care in the world!)
  • Win a meaningful sum of money in the lottery. (Just want to win something, you know that lucky feeling)
  • Have one more tattoo (hopefully there will be no more)
  • Kick my very old bad habit which is Biting my lips ( yep..no one is perfect and that habit my friend, stinks)
  • Develop and learn the art of Forgiveness and forgoing grudge ( Boy...i'm a class act in that. Very bad!)
  • Create a life worth living for me and my entire family ( filled with all the goodies in life, by God's grace)

If you haven't watched this movie before,please do. It's funny and there is a lesson to be learnt as well which is ....you are never too old or too young to achieve your dreams and it shouldn't take death to teach or push us to start living!










My advice is,if you want to do anything go for it. If the opprotunity arises, grab it because sometimes they only pass us once. Forget about what people think and live for yourself. The crowd is always going to be there and you will always have to interprete the noise for yourself, whether its a cheer or a Booo.....just bear in mind that your life is your stage and you can either put up the performance of a lifetime or shoot for failure and fear and eventually get booted off your very own stage.


Break the fear and take a risk....if you make a mistake, at least it will be your mistake.


WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT RISKS? bORRRinGG!

Go on and create a list of your own and while doing it,have some fun too  :)





Monday 6 February 2012

Poem of the Month

        The Shepherd Boy's Song






He that is down needs fear no fall,
He that is low no pride;
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

I am content with what I have,
Little be it or much;
And, Lord, contentment still I crave
Because thou savest such.

Fulness to such a burden is
That go in pilgrimage;
Here little and hereafter bliss
Is best from all to age.

By John Bunyan







This poem i learnt at a very young age and memorised by heart. I can well say it has helped to keep me grounded one way or the other so i thought to share.
Read,Absorb & be inspired!

Monday 30 January 2012

''It's Barbie Bitch!!'' Child, say what?

Now I see the new trend is to label oneself with meaningless,degrading and stupid names.
Okay!

Born into this world with a meaningful name and brought up as a God-Fearing child with morals and manners. For this your parents were hopeful.
Yes, hopeful until you grow up and decide to chuck your morality and manners into the gutter and forget where you came from. So you christened yourself with a new name...''Its Barbie Bitch!!''
But why??  Slap yourself for that error!! 

Why would you want people to refer to you as ''Barbie''? 
  • Do you know the damage that name does to your intelligence? 
  • Do you know the impact of names on people?
  • Which employer is going to employ Barbie?
  • Which serious guy would take ''Barbie'' home to meet his parents? ( except of course he is ''ken'' in other words a waste-man )
  • Do you know the image ''Barbie'' creates in my mind?
Ha! My friend slap yourself again!!
Since you decide to call yourself Barbie i guess you wouldn't know the answers to the above questions but I'll tell you.

First of all, try to define Barbie in your mind. Its a doll,yes child it's a plastic doll with no brains. Now try to picture what people normally do with dolls. They play with them and when they are tired of playing with them they recklessly dispose of them. Now who plays with dolls? Kids of course,i don't know of any adult that spend their spare time playing with dolls,Barbies to be precised. Not to forget the fact that its sold in a shop,bought with cash and it can be thrown about as hard or soft as the child wishes.

Now picture yourself  ''Miss Barbie'', is that how you want your life to go? Is that how you want people to perceive you? I don't think so.

When i hear girls call themselves barbie i just assume they are DUMB and BRAINLESS.Pardon me for judging you Miss B but you left me with no choice but to make assumptions. I don't care how many PHDs you've got, if you dare to give yourself a doll's name, I'll be daring too to strip you off all your intelligence. C'mon girl, Barbie? The sad thing as well is the attitude and pride with which  they say the name with... ''Its Barbie Bitch!'' (Now don't get me started on the Bitch section! ). In case you didn't know, no one will take you serious, no one. Except of course your fellow Barbies and your waste-men Kens. Even a child wouldn't take you serious,because you have the same name as their plastic doll at home which they toss and kick about as they wish. Is This Life??

Finding a job is hard as it is with the recession and all,now adding Barbie to that equals LIFETIME UNEMPLOYMENT.  Finding a job will prove impossible,let alone a good job. No employer will employ you with that name because as i said, no one takes dolls seriously. Yes you love the name because of its association with celebrities but don't forget that's how they make their money and gain fame. A typical example would be Nicky Minaj, she has become extremely famous and Barbie is like her household name.She dresses like one and acts like one...now you wouldn't want to do that in the real world because even if you get recognised,( which is highly unlikely ) It won't get you nowhere . Child, Get Real!!

Barbie will always attract the Kens of this world,but the chances of finding a real, good man? Forget it! Which serious guy will take you home to meet his mama?  You have portrayed yourself as a plastic doll, normally trashed after use,bought with money, an airhead etc etc. Now do you think any real man would take you seriously...OK I'll tell you, NO! You'll definitely attract them because guys are like that but since you are Miss Barbie they will PLAY and  DISPOSE of you as soon as they are done and you know why because that's what they do with Barbies and they won't be taking Miss Barbie home to meet the family. Child wake up and smell the coffee!

Ladies,please think before labelling yourself with degrading names like Barbie and the likes. I know you are envious of the stick figure the doll is built with and the glamorous wardrobe Barbie comes with but don't compromise your self to the extent of labelling yourself. Be confident in your skin and destroy all insecurities. Love yourself for who you are. You know you can achieve that glamorous wardrobe with your birth name if you're hard working and stay focused, you don't need to label yourself for that. If you so desire fame and popularity, take a look around, there are so many people famous with their real birth names, for example Barack Obama. So you can do it too.



And to all the ''Kens'' (waste men) of this world...please stop! you are giving false hope to these girls and few years down the line,they will be of no use to anyone including you guys.....so why lead them on?

Well forget leading the girls on,what about you  yourselves?? No level headed woman will date you or take you home to mama...no, never! This is true as you won't be able to bag a job as no employer will employ you with your funky haircut and trousers down your waist line as if you're a penny short to buy yourself a belt! As for the way you speak..that is another issue. For crying out loud,speak proper English! Labelling yourselves with all these ''gangster'' names is a recipe for disaster and it does not make you a GANGSTER,neither any richer. 50 cent is earning his cents and so are the likes of him....the question is,what are you doing with your life?

Take a second,think and change your direction if need be. Respect the person you are and dream big. Dream to become someone,someone of value to society.

You might be looking like 50 cent,dressed like Lil Wayne and speak  like Jay Z but remember your bank balances are never the same!

Never mind the lyrics...Life in plastic is NOT Fantastic!

Ladies & Gentlemen, Be your own person.....is that too much to ask?



Sunday 29 January 2012

Weekend Quote

''There comes a time in our lives when we have to choose,
 yes choose....
 between turning the page or closing the book.''

Wednesday 25 January 2012

You're All You've Got!

Don't compromise yourself, You're all you've got!
How far would you go to please the crowd?

So many times we find ourselves in positions wherein we are forced to compromise. Compromising is good because sometimes for a relationship to work ( whatever type ) we need to bend down in order come to a mutual decision ,agree to disagree etc, but not at the detriment of your identity.

For example, love. Yes, so many people lose their identity in the name of love! We see people fall in love and the next thing you know,they've changed. Personality is different, so is the attitude. In a relationship, when someone truly loves you they wont ask you to compromise to the point of changing yourself just to suit their liking. If they do then they never liked you to start with because when you compromise yourself, you end up losing yourself. Why try and change a person you so claim to be in love with?
You're all you've got,believe it or not!

When you have finish sacrificing ''you'' what are you going to have left? Stand for what you believe in and use your head wisely when making compromises. If you're insecure and don't have an ounce of confidence in yourself it is very easy to sway to the wind....that is whatever pleases the crowd. You have to love yourself, look after yourself, cherish yourself and have confidence in yourself and that's not being selfish its called being sensible because only then can you give your 100% to others. Lest you forget,no one cares about dead bones!

Some people will say its in their genes, they love to help a damsel in distress, they have a big heart but please don't allow that big heart of yours to take you to a place where you would be asking questions with no answers.You have to know when to draw the line. Some are only there to use you and suck you dry like a ketchup sachet and after they're satisfied, they get rid of you, yes just like that. Your happiness is essential, so don't go compromising that too in the name of love and marriage. Remember while you are on your Samaritan duties,no one loves you better than you do and a sad person can't make anyone happy,so work on yourself.

You live your life for people, for the crowd, to see a smile on people's face and hardly ever stop a minute to see that ''you'' is OK. Do a good deed here and there but don't push too hard to the point where your smile would be lost in the process and you hardly noticed it. What good are you to people if you are losing yourself in the process?

Compromising yourself is not a guarantee for people to love you,its not a guarantee that they will be there for you forever neither is it a visa to a better life. When you done compromising till you don't even recognise yourself,who's going to rescue your lost soul? Not even you can rescue yourself because you wouldn't have a clue as to who you are any more and you better be praying hard for the person responsible to be by your side which is highly unlikely! Don't count on it,not everyone has a ''big heart'' like you. If they had to push so hard to change you,where is the love?



I appreciate compromises but only if its beneficial to both parties or if its going towards a positive direction. If its not then you are really better on your own. You don't need anyone to make you feel whole,it comes from within. Neither do you need anyone's approval to live your life,you've only got one so don't compromise it. If they find it so hard to love you for you,give them the fishing net...there are plenty more fools.....ooops I meant fishes in the sea.

Remember,for every time you compromise yourself, you are slowly losing ''you'' while giving a part of  ''you'' away...it might be a need or a want and at the same time you are settling for less.

Sunday 22 January 2012

What Happened??


We live in an overly advanced world and the rate at which it's developing is rather alarming to say the least. I love gadgets, I love technology, I love anything that makes my life easy. Yes I do but what happened to the good ole days where we find joy in doing things manually with simplicity?



I remember the days of heating up our food in a nice hand-crafted aluminium pot over a fireside that was made from wood chip,match and charcoal as opposed to the use of the microwave or cooker which happens to be a big addition to our technology age. Oh and lest i forget, the taste of the food is just out of this world when compared to a microwaved dinner,lest i add the yummiest crunch at the bottom of the pot ( In my country we call it KRAWO). That is often looked forward to more than the food itself.
What happened?

What happened to the days of writing letters,be it business or pleasure. It always had and will always have a different impact. Now we send emails and texts like there is no tomorrow,left right and centre!I understand its faster and economical for businesses but I believe we used to do perfectly well before then. I still prefer a love letter from my loved ones as opposed to a love email.... doesn't even sound right! We now have Kindle, ipad and so on which allows access to books on the go just at the touch of a button. I want to wet my finger tips with my spit and turn the good ole pages of a book and just inhale that book smell ( readers y'all know what I'm taking about ).

The invention of mobile phone just top everything up. I believe the invention of Mobile phone brought a lot of stuff from the Old age to the New age. I personally cant imagine how we spent our lives without mobile phones.Imagine a mobile phone with a camera, a Sat Nav, emails,diary,music player,games,camcorder and not to talk of all the different mind blowing applications including the thousand messaging applications that makes us so unsociable such as whatsaap.The network providers don't make it easy for us either by providing unlimited texts and minutes that gives the urge to call even our worst enemies....just because we can!
What happened?

How can one be in a room full of people but yet find it hard to communicate with the ones around them? Thanks to Social Networks. Its like we are in a full time job just feeding the world endlessly with all the nitty gritties of our lives through Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Hi5 to name but a few. These social networks are FREE and addictive,and almost everyone is allowed on there. I said almost because some of them have the decency of putting age limit on them. Moreover, you can access these networks even on our mobile phones so basically,everywhere. You go out and everyone would be asking for your Facebook, forget phone number. Hellooo I do have a phone!
What happened?



Not to talk of the Blackberry Messenger commonly called BBM which is ever so popular among the kids....Yes kids! This is free and we all know what free means. Humans and Free don't go together. We tend to use, misuse and abuse anything that is free and the BBM is no exception. My cousin is 8 years old and she has a blackberry! unbelievable but true. People have been in all sort of accidents such as butting their heads on poles due to distractions from the BBM. Is this life?
What happened?

In as much as we complain and wish we had the old hassle free days back, we do love our technology as they provide a rather easy life for us,although when you take a close look...it's actually a new stress level which we are oblivious to and why i do not know. Feeding our gadgets age is not cheap.Despite the recession,we would wake up any day and gladly queue for the latest Iphone or spend our house rents on the latest gadgets!

With that, I'll keep asking, what happened to the good ole days of simplicity?

Till then...xoxo