Love is Bigger Than Valentine's Day

21 ways to spend Valentine’s Day this year

After the joys and excitement of the New Year is the month of February. The ever so over commercialized day lies in there, the day where the married ones are overly expectant and the ones in relationship and waiting are even more excited than those who are legally-bonded. And then there is the single ones…wallowing in self-pity and thinking they’re not worthy of love.

…thanks to our generation, the pressures of this age is killing us slowly, destroying self-esteems and even something so pure and true as love.

Love...

It’s almost too chaotic and exhausting. Love is a beautiful thing and must be celebrated with no external pressures. If Valentine’s Day stresses you out in your relationship then you need to re-evaluate your love life.

Be so deeply rooted that Valentine’s Day can’t even unravel you.

The day is about love no doubt but there are different types of love. Because there are different types of love it means the day can be celebrated by everyone and in different ways.

Here’s my list of ways you can feel loved, and spread love and make the day count.

Just for the record, it is not obligatory to celebrate Valentine’s Day, don’t get lost in the sauce. You’re still dope, still special, still capable of loving and giving love in return.

Here goes…

1. Spend the day with people who have lost their loved ones. People who have suffered a great lost in recent months – give them hope that there is still enough love to go around.

 2. Be a morning person and catch the sunrise… be grateful for all the new opportunities you’re presented with and make sure to catch the sunset more importantly which is the promise of hope.

Catch The Sunset

3.   Go on a shopping spree, visit your favourite coffee shop or spot, eat your favourite food and spend an alone time with yourself. You’ll learn a thing or two about yourself.

4.   Spend the day with the homeless and less privileged. This will humble you and make you put things into perspective. You’ll then learn that there are more important things than the pressures of being single.

5.   Visit your grandparents. They are old and have limited time left so why not visit with their favourite drink and come bearing some pleasant tales of the past. All they need now is your time and love.

6.   Go to the cinema. Yes alone. Watch your favourite film and make sure to buy the largest popcorn and largest drink. Add a hot dog to that with extra mustard and don’t forget to get a good seat. Self-love.

7.   Do what you actually love, all the things you always wanted to do but never have time for. Sew that loose hem on your skirt. Cook your favourite meal. Write that poem and type up that article.

8.  Wake up early, dress immaculately and participate in 10 random acts of kindness. Make someone smile. Pay someone a compliment. Pay for someone’s coffee. Smile to strangers. Some need it more than you think.

9.  Stay home. Have a well-deserved lie in. Play your favourite songs at ignorant level. Binge on that TV series you recorded but never had the time for. Dance around in your pyjamas while you sip your favourite drink.

10.  Be a tourist in your country. Go to places you’ve never been before. Take photos of the memorable moments and enjoy the experience of experiencing something new.

Be A Tourist in your own City

 11.  Attend midweek service. Go to your local church and just thank God for your life and reflect on all the little mercies you’ve ignored while you were busy finding Mrs Right and Mr Valentine.

12. Go on a spa day and enjoy a good massage. Have a manicure and a pedicure. Sometimes life happens and you are left with little or no time for some self-loving. Don’t neglect your being. You live there after all.

Self Love is The Greatest Middle Finger of all Time!

13. Pick up that novel you’ve always wanted to read. You’ll be amazed at how     many pages you can get through when you are really enjoying a good read. These little things are good for the soul.

14. Go bowling. Go ice skating. Go swimming or hiking. Go to the zoo or the water park or amusement pack. Quad biking, horse-riding and go-karting. In short, go on an adventure and surprise yourself.

15.   Wake up in the morning and have a full blast of worship. Oh I love worshiping. Put your favourite gospel on and just worship lustily. Thank God for where you’re at and thank Him for where He is about to take you.

16.  Light the candles. Run the bath and have a long soak with a glass of wine in hand and your favourite music in the background. Lean back, close your eyes and let your mind drift to a place of bliss and light and love.

Have a Soak...

17.  Pay a visit to the hospital…the kids ward. Take a gift with you, a stuffed toy or something that will make them laugh or put a smile on their little precious faces. They need love more than you think.

18.  That dress you saved for Mr Valentine, put it on and grace the dance floor…live a little. That bottle of champagne you saved for Mrs Right, pop it open and enjoy while you watch your favourite sport…life is now.

19.  You’ve been in the gym all year trying to get that six pack for that chick and you a beach bum for the right man. But the day is here and they are not here…munch on your favourite fatty food while you’re at it understand that the right person will love you just the way you are.

Go On Life Adventures!
Live!

20.   Disconnect from social media and reconnect with yourself. Reflect and evaluate your life. Understand that you’re whole all by yourself and you’re exactly where you need to be.

21.   Say a prayer. Make sure you are praying just as much as you are wishing for it. Make God service your delight and make Him your foundation. Understand that in the absence of Valentine’s Day you are still you. God’s love is unwavering and ever present.

  

Jeremiah 29:11

Don’t be troubled by the pressures of this world. Be unshaken by societal pressures. Love is love and there are different types of love.

crave and yearn for that John 3.16 love...the kind that gives hope and is unconditional. The one that is not fickle and is built on a rock solid foundation. the love that falters not and will stand through the test of time. That God kind of Love.

You might be single…so what? You’re still a dope human. Don’t be reeled by people’s relationships…you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. You have no idea what their relationships are built on. 

Social media can get you all confused and envious or people’s lives. It can cause you to lose focus and send you into a destructive zone.

Don’t be that person. 

Take it all with a pinch of salt and understand that social media is nothing more than the best episodes of our lives….the not so happy ones you’ll never see.

So why be envious of an illusion?!

Be content and happy. Trust the timing of your life and enjoy the process.

I was looking for a sign once because I am a professional thinker and no one criticizes me more than myself...and I am always looking for answers. This writing on the wall appealed to me. And i knew i had to trust God more and learn to not overthink joy out of this beautiful life.

Trust The Process

I am exactly where I need to be. That was all I needed to know. We all need assurance from time to time. We all fail. We all have flaws. We all have bloopers.

In a relationship or not, don't neglect the duty of loving yourself and don't bow to societal pressures.

My point is, be encouraged and trust God, trust yourself more, trust your journey and trust your destiny. What’s for you will never pass you by and you will be who you were meant to be.

Your purpose on this earth might not be as you have rehearsed it in your head – meet prince charming or Mrs Right, fall in love and get married and have beautiful kids.

We all cannot have the same paths.

Not all of us will meet the love of our lives…some of us our purpose is way greater. Embrace it.

Love is bigger…way bigger than Valentine’s Day!

Till then

Xoxo

30 Things

So I hit age 30 few months ago. Errmmm…I never experredit!! Where did time flew to? It was just yesterday I was celebrating my 21^st birthday and now I’m slowly creeping towards pensioner's realm.

Dirty 30

I struggled to accept it in the beginning, so much that few days leading to the birthday I tried to keep the birthday and the age on the down low but my cousins were not having it so by the time it was 6am on the 5^th of July, the world knew I was 30. Great!

The World Knew I was 30!

Will I take back my years of the good, the bad and the ugly?

Naahh… I have been through too much but likewise I have learned too much to erase those memories. It has not been smooth sailing but still I wake up every day thankful to God because it could be worse.

Too much light have come out of my darkness, so with that I say roll on the next 30 years of my life. I’m not fully equipped but I’m ready! But then again, who’s ever fully equipped for life?

I have lived and I have learned. I’ve had first-hand experiences which no one taught me in school but life did. I have cried, and laughed and sometimes wished it will all go away, I have given up hope, I have prayed and I have found my strength again in GOD when I thought I had nothing left.

Aye I could go on and on but I would like to summarise my experiences in 30 Things.
 (It's way more than that but I wouldn’t like to bore you all)

So here goes...



1.     Family over everything. You bend, you bend and you bend but guess what, the ties never break.

My A team

2.     People are not against you, at least not everyone is. People are for themselves. The sooner you understand this, the better. The world owes you nothing!


3.      If you do not have God, then what do you have? I’ll tell you….nothing. 


4.      Whoever carved the phrase ‘’No New Friends’’ didn’t know the first thing about friendship and sure didn’t know what they were talking about.

No New Friends? GTFOH

5.     Treat people better than they treat you, always. And be nice. Whoever says it pays to be nice, knew exactly what they were talking about. I get away with murder by being nice. Life is hard already, stop throwing stones at people.

6.   It is possible to do all the right things and still fail. Don’t live your life looking for answers, that is quite unfulfilling but rather live within the questions.

7.      Someone’s idea of you is never your reality. It’s just that, their idea and opinion. Never allow it to get to you.


8.      You can’t control everything that happens to you in this unpredictable life but what you’re in charge of is how you react to every situation that occurs in your life. My younger brother once said to me that the only person I can control is myself. So when bad things happen that I can’t change, all I have to do is choose to change my attitude towards it. This is the way I see obstacles now and it is a damn good perspective.

Your Attitude has a Lot To Do With Everything
Fight till My Last Strength Is Exhausted!

9.      Before holding grudge, talk to the person first, sometimes they have no idea what you’re going through or that they've hurt you.

10.     You can’t save a man from himself. Now let that resonate.

11.      If making you happy is costing me my happiness then I can’t afford you.

12.       Life is not black and white –there are grey areas. Just because it haven’t happened for you yet, it doesn't mean you’re failing. It’s just not time.

13.       God do not let me forget that I need you in my best days as I did on my worse days.

14.      It is okay to cry, doesn't matter if you’re a man or woman. Never suppress an overwhelming feeling. You’re human, don’t you ever forget that.




15.     Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is a series of ebb and flow. Most things are not as bad as we make them to be.

16.      This too shall pass. This mantra gives me hope in the darkest of time. It gives me a flashback of the many times that I have been able to pull through in life.

My Harshest Critic And Greatest Supporter
 My Mother!

17.     Be present in every moment, I cannot stress this enough. Stop looking for the big things, relish every tiny little happiness in your life. Some people exist only for the big finale but the secret is to look for the good in every situation.

18.    They will love you. They will adore you. And they can still hurt you.

19.     Love yourself, adore and cherish yourself like you would a loved one. Heck, be conceited. Be kind to you. Treat yourself, date yourself and be careful how you speak to yourself, YOU are listening

Be Conceited And Take Shameless Selfies

20.   Jeremiah 29:11 - My ultimate bible verse. I call it hope.  If I ever have another tattoo, this would be it.

21.     Writing is good but what is even better is talking. Make sure you have that one non-judgemental person with a listening ear in your life. Most times, a good catharsis is what we need.

22.     I used to wait on happiness. Then I realised that happiness doesn’t always come in grand style. Now a cup of coffee makes me happy, the company of my family, the smile on my grandmother’s face, my God-children leaving voice notes on WhatsApp make me really happy. The small things are the moments that matter. Don’t let them pass you by without noticing.

Their VoiceNotes On Whatsaap
Always Put A Smile On My Face

23.     Being attractive has a lot less to do with how you look. But a whole lot more to do with how you treat people and handle certain situation. How you react to events and happenings in your life and how you make people feel about themselves.


24.     You never know how fucked up someone is until you try to love them.

25.        Love is a decision. Love is more than a feeling. Love is a decision you make every passing day.

26.      Life is full of unplanned events and sometimes life slaps you across the face. You will have bad days and you will have days that nothing seems to be going right. Life will turn you upside now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Hold tight. God gives his hardest battle to his toughest soldiers. Learn from it. You will be okay, eventually. Trust me on this one.

27.       Take heed to criticism. Sometimes the things that upsets us the most are things we need to change in ourselves. Criticism can be a great inner mirror. Not everyone is out to get you, sometimes people are telling you the truth. Listen.

Have Confidence But Stay Humble

28.      Have confidence in yourself but stay humble. Confidence without fear of what people may think of you. A confidence that doesn’t waver even when people don’t approve of you.

29.     Strive to be a better person. You are not always right. You are not the standard, judge less. Listen to your intuition and every now and again, stop and do some inner soul cleaning.

30.       You are magic.



With that i have to say, live with no regrets, it's a waste of time. Learn from mistakes made and remember to live life fully....regardless of all the many curve balls life throws at us.

Live Life To The Fullest

Till next time



Xoxo