The Expectation

The hopes, the expectations, the castles in the air all makes for a rather rude awakening. The fall is pretty serious and landing is never soothing to the bum.

“To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect”

Most times than often, that awakening is needed. It’s like a slap to reality from reality.

My theory is if you have to be awakened rudely like that then you have no business sleeping. When a situation arises where you can’t sleep you have no business being there in the first place. I have a thing for cosy, sureness and trust and if I can’t experience any of it…it leaves me empty with a lot of questions.

Why fall asleep? Why dose off? Why let your guard down and start expecting and hoping? Heck why do you even shut your eyes? Our expectations always sell us short. It’s all good to be hopeful and expecting people to behave in a certain way. It’s all good to think and expect….but keep your feet grounded, grounded on something solid.

Sometimes I think expectations come from a deep place within ourselves. Expectations comes from our pattern of thinking and trails of thoughts we have so carefully weaved in our heads. It can also be because of what we’re used to. It is a result of what you thought it was or should be. Other times, it is because of what you have experienced and certain experiences leaves you positively expectant.

Positively Expectant...

We expect people to act in a certain way. We expect them to do certain things and behave in a certain fashion and when they don’t that is where the awakening comes in. Yea that rude awakening.

We believe and want them to act in a certain way because we will act in that same manner given the same situation. We believe we will go that far for them so we expect them to do the same. We believe we will bend and break bones for them so we think they’ll be willing to do the same.

“Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds.

Well it doesn’t work that way unfortunately. People react to situations differently therefore you can’t expect the same level of reaction given the same situation. People think differently and we are all ever so different in various ways. I once read somewhere that when you stop expecting people to behave in a certain way, life becomes easier and you become happier. Expectation in a sense is self-destructive as you slowly build yourself up for disappointment.

'Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.”

Expectation is a child born from a comfortable place. I say comfortable because it is a situation or relationship or person or thing you thought you knew, they’ve become your playground, all so familiar and cosy. You knew all the back routes and the ins and out. You feel like you’re home and Boom…..expectation kicks in. Such a familiar territory with an unfamiliar trails. From a comfortable place like that, the awakening is never a good one.

The Awakening...is real

That awakening is your call to duty. It is your call to evaluate and re-evaluate. Look at the situation from all angles and analyse. What made you so expectant? Why did you ever start thinking they will do that for you or be that for you? Why did you even think you mattered that much to them? What sparked that expectation? What gave you hope that the situation would be all you’ve wished for or thought it would be? 

Wake up!

Things don’t pan out your way, so what? Situations don’t turn out as you would have liked, so what? Life goes on. Do not allow yourself to become bitter, frustrated or full of anger because disappointment does that to people. Remember your happiness is paramount. It doesn’t mean the situation was a bad situation or the person is a bad person, it simply means that people are different. People think differently. People react to situations differently.

Waiting and Expecting...

If you can handle the difference, then there is beauty in differences. To each their own. Personally I have learnt to never try to change anyone. As the wise saying goes, if you know how hard it is to change yourself then you will know how little a chance you have of changing others. Inspire change in them but never try to change them.

Accept them wholly or keep it moving. This applies to all situations and everyone. Expectations are always going to be there just remember to not fill your life with resentment and anger when it doesn’t create the vision you envisioned. You can’t expect everyone to be dedicated as you or have the same level of passion as you and this is a mistake made more often than we think.

Lower your expectations of people and you will never be disappointed. This doesn’t make you any less of a human neither does it diminish the person that you are. It doesn’t lower your self-esteem and you can walk with head held high. But what it’ll do is save you from unnecessary anger, pain, resentment and frustration. You really don’t need to be inflicting all that poison into your system. You can’t change people, and some situations are totally out of your control.

“My expectations are sky low, because I’m standing on a mountaintop.” 

Remember you can’t control everything that happens to you and around you but you can control how you react to it.

Till then

Xoxo

Music Of The Month

Ladies and Gents...

I know y'all have been great!

I have a new addiction (I might be late) but it’s too good not to share.

My love for music is just immeasurable; you might already know this if you have been following my blog updates.

‘’Write me a love song, send me a letter….tell me you love me’’

        My fav extract from Love Song~ Timi Dakolo

Wooooooiiii… it touched me!!

Well to start off the best thing that happened to me in this month of June so far was my subscription to Sky TV and I must say I am lurrving it. Imagine coming from Virgin Media which is a major reap off. Reap off because it’s expensive and no good value for money. The diverse number of channels I get on my Sky TV brings one big smile to my face. Too bad people are deprived of such due to the position of their houses…..Oh well. (I actually think they should get this sorted, they are losing customers)

Anyhooo….I am not a Sky rep, let me get on with what I have to tell y’all.

Normally while I’m in the kitchen or around the house doing chores, I like the blaring sound of music, I actually do love loud music because loud music is just life!! Turning my TV on (I think it was BET…Virgin Media don’t have that! :P )  I then went on to the kitchen to cook my dinner. Not too long, I heard this smooth modulated voice streaming all the way from the sitting room to the kitchen. I quickly wiped my hand and dashed into the sitting room.

Guess who was there breathing life through my TV? ….. Timi Dakolo!! Singing one of his hits ‘Love Song'. People, the song I fell in love with was Love Song!

Timi Dakolo

 Wait for it… I have never heard any of his music nor his name before but his music was speaking to me. I couldn't help but take a seat and get lost for a few minutes in such awesome talent.

Now this is what good music should do to you. Music must be so good that it draws you in, connects with you on another level and get you lost into it so much that you forget all your worries in the process. (Even if it’s for a swift second) The power of good music is tingling to the soul; it makes you crave for more and sends all your senses into rebellion.

This fine dark chocolate of an African, Timi Dakolo who has the voice of R. Kelly and strangely resembles Tinie Tempah in a very appealing way was born in Ghana but originally from Nigeria. He started singing at the tender age of 12.

Love Song By Timi Dakolo

In the video for ‘Love Song’ He wore a black leather jacket which was strategically left open to confuse the ladies, exposing all his glorious six pack (is it just me, it’s getting pretty hot in here…phew)  It’s all good, Timi can confuse us all he likes, we’re not complaining.. :) The sad news is ladies, he is off the market :(

He is indeed a good looking guy and this was definitely a bonus to the video which I absolutely loved. Timi Dakolo put so much emotion into this song that you can’t help but feel like falling in love all over again. He was touching a special place in my body with his voice, I won’t lie. A brilliant love song by a beautiful human…ahh my friends, it doesn't get better.

Love is such a strong emotion and this was beautifully conveyed through his song ‘Love Song’

Loved it, absolutely loved it! All I can tell you now is that song is on constant repeat till further notice.

Music too sweet!

Hey what are you waiting for? …hit YouTube up and get addicted like me, I’m sure you’ll like it (I've got good taste, you see ;) hehehe)

Till then

Xoxo

Stick and Stones….

The Mighty Power Of Words!

Remember the old adage …….'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me'.

Sticks and stones will break my bones …yes it will break you surely, but words will never harm me…No it won’t darling, but best believe it will damage you and leave you feeling like a worthless tissue paper. Now that's the power of words. What would you prefer...a good beating or a good tell off? 

Don't underestimate it

Physically, mentally, psychologically and emotionally, words are way more damaging than sticks and stones. Basically, if someone opens their mouth on you…hmmm and I mean OPEN…you will wish a fire wood was thrown at you instead.

That adage is a whole lot of lie…yea I said it! (Shoot me) But then again I guess some people see it easier to shake off an insult than heal wounds. What they don’t know is words leave an everlasting stigma which is sometimes unknown to us until later in the future.

When I was young, naive and clueless, I used this adage a lot. It was evident I didn't know better. It made me feel tough and brave and fearless.  But as I grew up, I gradually realised that in fact the most powerful tool ever available to man is the tongue.

The Tongue is indeed very powerful– The question is, are you going to use it to break or to make?

Every so often we underestimate the power of words that comes out of our mouth. We really don’t know its value and capability to make or break someone or a situation.

With few kind and considerate words, you can save someone from committing suicide and with few hateful and spiteful words you can be the cause of someone’s death. Believe it or not, it is possible. 

The tongue is a very small organ which is capable of bringing a man as tall as 6ft to the ground with ease. Words have power and must not be taken lightly. You really don’t want to use your tongue to be the cause of someone’s misery. Our prime purpose in life is to help each other, if you can’t help them at least don’t hurt them. My Aunt once said to me; if you don’t have anything good to say then don’t say anything at all. You have to know when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut….Now that is what my granny would describe as wisdom.

Some people take absolute pleasure in being someone’s misery. Are you that type of person? But why? Does your next meal depend on it? That Cruella De Vil movement needs to stop!  Watch what you say and think before you utter anything. No one is paying you to talk and I am sure your mouth won’t stink from few moments of thoughtful silence. If we knew how many times our words were misinterpreted, there would be much more silence in the world.

You want to drop a criticism, do it with caution and wisdom. Send your message across but don’t stamp all over the person. Always watch your tongue because you don’t want to leave someone more distressed and broken than when you first met them. If you’re not going to make a positive impact on someone’s life then I think it’s best to....leaave it yehhh!!

When you’re full of anger, be extra careful with your words. Surely you don’t have time to think when you’re blazing, but when has blazing ever solved any problems? Stop, Put that fire out, calm down, and think before you utter something you’ll regret. Words once said can’t be undone, no matter how many sincere apologies offered. The scars still remain. Scars that won’t heal easily.

If you can’t lift someone up with your tongue then you have no business pulling anyone down. You’re upset and things aren't going your way so you….shout, scream and set someone’s soul on fire with your hurtful words. After your rampage all of a sudden you feel good. You feel satisfied. You feel like a champ….yea! You feel like the King of the jungle Yea!   * Breaths down & Beats Chest*

OK King  Kong!  Now what? (My friend you have a problem. Get it together)

Well I've got news for you, you ain't a champ, you’re the biggest coward! You ain't no King Kong you’re just a tiny miserable mosquito who seizes every opportunity to torment people’s lives. That satisfaction you’re feeling is not really a sense of satisfaction, that is you using someone else to make you feel good about yourself and look better. That my dear is you being very insecure and displaying the highest level of low self-esteem.

More importantly, that is bullying, and just in case you are wondering bullying is not just physical. Some of us our words are greater bullies than our physical self. Your mood must never dictate your manners. Sort it out before it eats you out. Remember whatever you can’t control, controls you. Sometimes it’s not so much what we say; it’s more to do with how we say it. Child, Watch ya tongue.

Below is a short clip on the power of words. 

An awesome video which emphasizes the point made above:

                                    It's not so much what you say but how you say it. 

It takes one swift moment to destroy someone’s confidence with your words which took them years to build. Your unbridled tongue can destroy the strongest person. Your loose tongue can tarnish one's character to an unbuildable level. Your destructive tongue can whip a man down to tears. Your insensitive tongue can take away someone’s pride. STOP and THINK before you speak. Don’t let your mouth run faster than your brain can think, If it does then you my friend have got a big problem.

Moaning and complaining, you are never satisfied or almost impossible to satisfy so therefore you spread your negative energy, bringing everyone to your level. Party pooper!! Nothing or no one is ever good enough for you. Hold up; is your life really that sad?! Use your tongue to praise and compliment, it’s refreshing. Try it sometime.

Insults and gossiping… Help us baby Jesus!! G O S S I P I N G! Hmmm if you meet some people you would think our purpose on earth was to gossip and raining abuses. All they give out is bad vibes...left right and centre. They will spare no expense in running up the phone bill just to spread rumours. Is your life that short of amusement?! If you know the dent gossiping leaves on one’s character then you will rethink whenever you want to spread rumours. If it’s not yours to share don’t share! If you must share anything, share positivity.

Haven’t you heard?  ’’What you say of sally says more of Susie than of sally’’ In other words be careful what you say about other people, you might be revealing a bit of yourself there.

The aim of our lord Jesus Christ when he decided to give us tongues was to bless, heal and pick up others when they’re down. The bible doesn't condone reckless behaviour. Matthew Chapter 12 verse 36 states:  ’’I tell you, on the Day of Judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.’’

Two eyes, two ears and one Mouth, only one mouth….Now let's take a moment and thank God that we only have one mouth. That’s a blessing right there. God knew what he was doing when he created mankind because Sometimes I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if we all had two mouths. Whenever you have the urge to misbehave, just think ….two eyes, two ears and one mouth. Let that be your guide.

Words have so much effect on us and most of the time we don’t have a clue. A prime example would be a shop with a big bright sales card stating over 50% off. The moment you see that you get excited because we all love free stuff.  

The Power Of Words

You enter the shop, spend money you don’t have and leave with bags full of items you don’t even need. You buy because you saw the word sale in bright red and more so for over 50% off. Most times the discount on the items is not even over 50% off, however the choice of words lured you in and you didn't bother checking. The Power of words.

If you are still in doubt of the power of words, ask the politicians. They use the right words at the right time to get what they want. When a new government is about to take office, the people expect change so they preach change and what they deliver don't matter. The talk is pretty much what they do best. The people believe and cast their votes. How many of them deliver what they preach? The power of words!

In relationships, we use words like I love you. I hate you. People don’t forget these words. These are words people keep close to their hearts. All the more reason why we must think before we speak. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. Hearts are often broken; trust lost and lives are never the same again. Don’t be the one responsible.The power of words.

One powerful line which perfectly illustrates the power of words for me is ’’I have a dream’’ by Martin Luther King JR. This is a short line spoken by a powerful activist. This line commands a movement, it empowers and encourages growth.  Even if you’re not a dreamer it makes you want to become one. This line persuades, inspires and breaks down walls. It makes you want to do more. That is how powerful words are. He could have chosen to say something negative but he spoke wisdom and positivity. Up to this day ‘’I have a dream’’ lives on. Choose your words carefully you never know who you might inspire.

Be warned!

Do you speak fine, kind, loving and positive words into your life every day? Do you ever remember to bless someone other than yourself? The bible says in Proverbs, Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. 

Parents….Do you speak life and positivity into your children's  lives? Use the power of words to your advantage and be a blessing. Select the words you use as you select the finest food from a fine menu. If need be, change your regular vocabulary and be a better person.

We are all humans and we fall short. No one is perfect. All we have to do is try to bridle our tongues and be a better person. As they say, practice makes perfect. One day you will look back and say Yes I am the master of my tongue. Let your tongue be your best asset and take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth. Not everything that comes into your mind must come out of your mouth. Learn to think.

Howeverrrrr, No one said don’t talk. Your voice is your power, so by all means use it and use with wisdom. A wise man fills his brain before he empties his mouth.

Your mouth is a fountain, you are either sprinkling living water or contaminated water. Whenever you speak you breathe life into words. 

What would you be bringing to life when you speak?  Speak something today that changes someone's tomorrow.

Till then …xoxo

My Faith Was Restored Koro Koro

Just when i was about to give up on Sierra Leone music and boom! I stumbled upon a video on Facebook that just restored my faith in Sierra Leone music. My people there is hope.

Yes my faith has been restored. On this lazy day, right under my duvet on a cold winter’s day my faith was restored and I hope it’s not the last I hear from her.

The song which inspired this blog post is called Boss/ Koro koro which was produced by the record label Diamonds from Sierra Leone (DSL) and beautifully sung by Esther Sesay featuring the creative Alieu Bio who is better known by his stage name G Money The Royal Emp’.


We all know what boss means but Koro koro in our local means not afraid of anything or strong. It could mean seen with a clear vision in a way you can’t deny. I stand corrected but I think the meaning differs depending on the context in which it’s been used. However the song is about women’s empowerment, women’s independency and women being in charge. I love the whole concept of the song maybe that is why I am so drawn towards it.

The beat had my curiosity but the level of talent in the song, to be precised her voice caught my attention. The voice behind the song, Boss/Koro Koro is the talented Esther Fatima Sesay who is an 18 year old R&B singer from Sierra Leone, did you hear what I just said….she is from the Lion Mountain. In fact both talents on the song hailed from Sierra Leone. Esther Fatima Sesay writes and arranges all her songs and for someone who’s never been to any formal song or lyric writing course, I’ll say she is absolutely brilliant. That's not all, she has 2 official videos out already and 6 songs online, all at the tender age of 18!

Now wait till I tell you all about this talented chick. She attended the Limount College, graduated 2 years ago and came out with the second best O’level results. She didn't just stop there, she went on to pursue a career in accountancy and she is currently enrolled in ACCA (Association of Chartered Certified Accountants). In the words of the CEO of DSL Mr Alie Forna, she is brains too and i can't help but agree. Esther is all beauty,talent and brains.






Esther Fatima Sesay - Beauty, Talent & Brains

Do you feel inspired already? I do because she didn't allow music to stand in the way of her career pursuit. She does have her wits about her and for that I say Bravo and keep it up.

Once the fame gets into your head and the fortune starts greeting your pockets, people get easily distracted. We see it every day, artists release few songs and by the time you know it they've forgotten about all their other pursuits and the fame and fortune just overshadows everything else. Few years down the line they are back to square one where they started. If you take a close look at some of the successful musicians that we listen to, they’re all doing bits on the side, they don’t just sing. Example of such would be Jay-Z and Beyoncé.


I listened the song once and I pressed replay….the second time I was humming and by the 3^rd replay I thought I was Esther for a minute. That’s how I knew I just stumbled upon a rare thing….good solid Sierra Leone Music.


Not forgetting due credits to G Money…his raucous voice just added that extra chilli and maggi seasoning to the song which just gave it that extra humph and left me yearning for more (Yes we are still talking about music....hold tight) hehe


More importantly I watched the video and I saw zero nudity, heard zero vulgar language and saw no wanna be gangster or wanna be pop star….Just raw talent. It is a decent video which I can comfortably give to a ten year old to watch to. Do you know how hard it is to find a PG13 music video these days?

                                                 Boss/Koro Koro ~ A DSL production. 
                                                   Video directed by Nick Asgill


Even the rapper was well dressed which i admired; no boxer on show, no grills... (I hate that piece of metal) or baggy trousers running down towards his ankle or bling-bling to blind me. African music videos that conform to the American lifestyle irk my soul. This video was refreshing and as I am penning this down it has been on a non-stop repeat. (I think I need to stop)


While I am at it I might as well highlight my favourite part of the video which was at the beginning when Esther was entering the board room with fellow colleagues all suited and booted. I absolutely loved that scene. It was a mile better to watch than the usual booty shaking that normally greets me when i first click on music videos. 

I must applaud the production team Diamonds From Sierra Leone (DSL), including Nick Asgill who directed the video for such refreshing 4 minutes of my life.


This is an exemplary video which I think (well i hope) has set the pace for other artists…nudity and vulgarity is not the way forward. You might come across hard at first but when all that is stripped away people are going to need to see the real talent and there would be none. Nowadays it’s like everyone is sworn by nudity. I know they say sex sells but don’t be fooled it does have an expiry date.


I used to love Sierra Leone music and I still do but over the years I have slowly grown out of it. Maybe I just grew up or maybe I am getting old but I don’t think there’s enough competition to fire up the creative side amongst the artists or maybe the focus is on the wrong agenda. I believe your music must inspire, motivate and revive. When I listen to a song, by the end of that 3 minutes or more I shouldn't feel the same way I was feeling when i started listening to the song in the first place. I must feel revived, motivated or inspired. If your music is not doing any one of the following then I think you have failed as an artist.

I want to abuse the replay button when I listen to your songs Sierra Leone Musicians…so for the love of music please step up! Think outside the box and while you are at it, think of your listeners for we are your audience. We are in Africa and we are Africans for crying out loud, when you write your songs look around you and be inspired, stop singing about girls, money, fame and power. The American artists give us enough of that, when we come home we want to feel like we're home. If you shadow your focus with the unimportant things what are you passing on to your listeners? Think about it.



Having said that, I wish Esther all the very best in her future endeavours and truly hopes she continues towards the direction of her dreams. I would be looking forward to more masterpiece production from DSL and the team.


Mama taught me to say thank you. Therefore i must acknowledge Mr Melvic Greene as this blog wouldn't have been possible without his help. He is slowly becoming my go-to guy and never gets tired of my disturbing texts regardless of the time of the day. I appreciate your tolerance and time.


I would also like to thank the CEO of DSL, Mr Alie Forna who took time out to satisfy my curiosity by answering my 1,001 questions. I appreciate your time.

Esther forgive me for stealing your picture off Facebook. :)



Disclaimer:

I do not know the artist Esther Sesay and this is not a favouritism post. If I see a talent worth appreciating I waste no time in doing so. As they say,give credits where one is due. This is solely based on my personal taste and judgement on the music industry in Sierra Leone.


.......and i hope you all enjoyed your Easter holidays and had a better one than i did. I was right under my duvet seen that Mother Nature is acting like she's on drugs. With snow in spring.... I'm baffled but music makes everything better and Koro Koro was just the remedy.


Till next time....xoxo