Single And Building My Empire

“Single and building my empire” but who turned you into a builder?

Are We Really Building An Empire?!

What if I tell you that you can do both?

Why all the decorations?

All the trimmings and the confetti?

Why all the background noise and the tambourine?

It’s all a bit too noisy up in here …don’t you think?

So much that you’re getting lost in all the charade.

Most importantly, are you happy?

You’re sad because you’re single and I can’t possibly think of anything sadder than that kind of sad.

You’re single and you’re sad because you think no one wants you. You’re scared that you’re going to grow old alone and you fear loneliness.

You want to keep up appearances like Ali, sally and Nelly.

You want to prove that you can pull that guy too. Or you can get the girl just like the next man. Sounds exhausting.

You are sad and you’re withering away in this tedious fight to prove that you’re high in demand. If you fight so hard to prove that you’re the business, are you really the business?!

Each night you fight this fight of belonging, the fight to keep up appearance as you cry yourself to sleep.

You’re treating life like a race. It was never one to begin with, slow down!

You’re at a stage when you haven’t met that special someone and you think time is running out so you destroy your happy…one sad thought at a time.

God's Best Is Your Best

You have successfully embedded the thoughts in your head that the only way to your happy is through someone else.

You haven’t learnt how to appreciate your alone time so you’re sad that you’re single. You hug your pillow and wet it with tears of wanting and belonging, just because you’re single.

You’re struggling with this phase and the world need not know. So you mask it with all the trimmings and special effects and life’s most deceiving filters. The truth about those filters and trimming is that they’re like the Cinderella story, come midnight its back to reality as you lay on your bed, in the dark, feeling sorry for yourself for no reason as you cry yourself to sleep.

Each passing day leaves you bitter, unfulfilled and sad. So sad that it’s almost hard to convince the world that you’re still building that empire.

Sad is no place to be…not at any time in your life because when you’re not looking It eats you up real fast.

Sadness eats you up real fast

See those filters are not loyal. Those trimmings are not loyal either…so do yourself a favour and make you your first commitment.

You are your first commitment…don’t play yourself. And don’t ever forget that.

Hold on…are we still building that empire?

Stop.

What empire are you building?

An empire of self-pity, sadness and tears?!

You aren’t building no empire.

Or if you were….

I am here to ask you to stop building that empire. Just stop.

What is your story? Who made you a builder? Who taught you that you have to keep busy to decorate your singleness? Who taught you that it’s wrong to be your own person?

Put down the shovel and hoe. Take a rest child. Put down your tools and embrace your singleness.

You are whole all by yourself and darling…being in a relationship doesn’t scream wholeness. Trust me on this one.

I know you aren’t building no empire. You’re trying to tell the world you’re too busy for love when deep down inwardly you crave for a love so deep. 

You are desperate to find that one true love and your patience is running out. But while you wait you think it’s convenient to tell the wold that you’re building that empire.

Please abort this operation stay busy of building an empire. From what I can see, it is easier to decorate our pains than to face them.

There’s is no shame in being single. It is perfectly OK to be single. It is not a taboo to be single at any age and it is certainly not an offence to be single.

There is more to life than being in the couples club. You’re single and that’s OK. Being in a relationship doesn’t make you whole.

Our generation have skilfully managed to make being single look formidable. We’ve craftily turned singleness into a taboo… but you are in charge and whatever you believe and allow is what will happen to you.

Don’t be dragged into the trend of this generation. I say it again, being single is normal and it is okay.

You’re allowed to be single without making any excuses for your singleness.

Learn to bask in your ALONE time

If single is what you are now, have no shame in your state of being. There is nothing wrong with you and you are under no obligation to decorate your singledom.

You’re single. Period. Believe that it a complete statement that requires no validation. It is a complete sentence that makes perfect sense, no need for the decorative excuses and add-ons.

Don’t try too hard to fit in that you start looking like the jester. Don’t try too hard to fit in the box that you come out damaged and confused. Be your own version of you.

Who knows who you will inspire…by just being you?

Don’t miss out on all the fun trying to be a good look. The people you’re putting a show for do they really care about you? Have you checked that they are checking for you?

You might just be alone in this fight…you might just be both the audience and the entertainer.

Embrace your state of being and at the right time, you’ll meet that special someone. Be comfortable in that phase of life that you are now. There is a time for everything under the sun.

Never ever lose sight of hope because what keeps us going is not even the love you crave for so desperately or the air you breath, what keeps the engines oiled is HOPE!

Tell people bold and loud… (Only if you want to)

You’re single.

No add-ons. No trimmings. No decorations.

…a partner should only enhance your being.

Be whole.  Stay whole

GOD IS LOVE

Till then

Xoxo

From Ordinary to The Extraordinary

Just won’t settle.

That’s it.

I’ve always had an overstretched mind flooded with chaotic thoughts. A taste bud which have often been described as fairy tale like. But when you encounter a soul that teases your taste buds, make your eyes see differently and awaken your senses……you can’t go back.

Why?

You have been stretched, probably not to your limits but have you ever seen a rubber band go back to its usual width and girth after being stretched?! Me neither

Whatever is normal, i do not wish to find out....

How do you go back to normal?! After all this, normal ceases to exist and Normal have never appealed to me anyway. Hold up, whatever is normal?

I guess I shall never find out.

You came like a storm in the summer. I was unprepared. Oh no I wasn’t ready. One thing is for sure, I live for the unplanned moments. The moments that leaves me breathless, transports you to another realm and it gets you thinking, where have you been all this while?!

You came like a lion among a swarm of bees, sweeping everything in your way to the curb. I never saw it coming and I think I missed that memo. You came like a burst of fresh air, giving the atmosphere all that good vibe and all that jazz. I liked it. I liked it a lot.

I tried to question it but I came up with no answers. I tried to make sense of it but failed miserably and again I tried to understand it but then I realised it is not my place. Some moments are best enjoyed and savoured in and letting it all go. As if I needed an answer, I was watching Mistresses when one of the characters said:

‘’...maybe it’s good to let go off plans and just make room for amazing things to happen.’’

I like questioning, maybe that was my answer right there. I like knowing but I learned that I can’t always control what happens to me, I can only choose the way I react towards it all.



Great conversation. Amazing time. Natural connection. Deep provoking thoughts. Mind sex. Stimulating intellect. Mind orgasms. Just great time, you know what I mean, great time that creates moments you will remember for the most part of your days if not the rest.

The moments where you entwine fingers and your heart skips a beat. The moments when you’re awaken by a nice warm cuddle and a gentle kiss on the forehead that speaks a thousand words. The moment when you elbows meet and you feel that shiver down your spine like a raindrop on a cold winter’s day.

All Shades of Yes...

That feeling is what is what I live for. This moment is why I won’t settle. This is the reason why I know no grey areas. Even if it’s just for a short while, everyone must experience this feeling that you can’t quite put into words you can only take a deep sigh and close your eyes to relieve part of that moment ever so often.

While others brag of great sex, with a silent confidence and dignity you delivered mind orgasm, the unforgettable and all the unimaginable. I liked that a lot. Happy as a lark and a child without a care in the world, the little heart danced.

Be with Someone who you Can Be a Fool With...

Rarely do you come across someone that makes you think like there’s no box. How often do you come across someone who just make you smile like a Cheshire cat all day long? Someone who makes you want to do better and be better, someone who you can totally be yourself with without having to put up a face.

That is priceless.

A thoughtful person. Emotional intelligence. They hear what you’re not saying. Attentive. They find the true meaning behind your words. Kind. Your silences are never awkward. Every eye gaze sends an electric storm down your spine.

Now, that doesn’t happen every day.

’You light a fire inside of me that would make even the sun envious.’

Our generation brags about designers they can’t spell and alcohol they can’t even pronounce but when you check the worth of their brains, it’s not brag worthy. Priorities wrong and scattered all over the place. Spend time to add value to yourself. Make yourself indispensable. Stop bragging about simple things. I once read somewhere, Intelligence will never stop being beautiful….and that’s just it.

You want to brag about sex but you’re forgetting that sex is deeper than what meets the eye. It is deeper than a few inches of penetration but your shallow mind won’t allow you to think any different. When a woman bares her soul, she is telling you more than you can see, you have to listen with a third ear. She’s trusting you, and sending a message, whatever that message might be you have to be attentive and willing to understand it. Sex is a soul dance, sex is two souls in agreement but you want to just brag and talk about it all day like it’s nothing. What i mean is, you need some dose of intellect to understand and comprehend that.

Again i say, intelligence will never go out of fashion.

It's Rare, but it still exists....

If sex is all you have to offer, what happens when you’re grey and old? What do you laugh at and what memories would you have created if not in between the sheets?


The biggest mistake you will make is to drift off from someone who you once had the time of your life with. When you find something like that, even if the moment lasted for a brief while, hold on to that story because in years to come you will tell your stories to your daughters and light up a fire in them while giving them hope that life doesn’t always give lemons, if we look hard enough.


As my girl Maya Angelou rightly said, when you know better you do better.


Don’t settle for what is convenient, don’t settle for normal heck I mean don’t settle at all if it doesn’t speak to your little heart. The simple things makes up for the great big things in the end. Live for the moments that you can’t put into words.

Sometimes...

Whatever it is that warms your soul and takes you to that happy place, keep that.




Till then


Xoxo

Don’t leave it too late…What if Tomorrow Is Too Late?!

Happy birthdays have become HBD on the likes of Facebook and Instagram and twitter. No one has the time. Will the few extra letters kill you?

Bereavements are announced on Facebook; picture of the dead is being posted for all to see and freely circulated on whatsaap. What happen to respect for the dead?

We publish picture of unborn babies even before it forms a shape. I understand you are excited and all that but give it a minute. What happen to cherished moments?

We forget our parents; we forget they are growing old. We forget they need us more than ever as the clock ticks. Make some time.

We over think situation and the fear of what if holds us back. Do what you want to do, right here, right now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

We watch from a distance and see the person we love walk away from our lives. We dread walking up to them and tell them how we feel. The only moment you have is now!

We get sucked up in this chaotic life and forget out relatives, friends and loved ones. We are busy finding a living and in the meantime abandoning important relationships. At the end of the day the only thing that we’re left with is the relationship we make.

Value Your Relationships...Make Time!

We’re flying high, living in the fast lane and making big bucks. YES! Life is good. Don’t forget your loved ones. Sometimes they don’t need your money, just your time. Make some time.

Your bank account might be looking all healthy and fit but are your loved ones looking just as healthy? Do you know how they’re faring on? Do you remember their birthdays and anniversaries? Cherish your relationships!

Don’t wait till they’re on their sickbeds before you jump at the opportunity to care. Sometimes even with all the money in the world, it does gets a little too late.

You hurt someone, apologise. You stepped on someone’s toes, apologise. Pride and ego kills faster than rat poison. You’ll still be whole after you say sorry, don’t worry!

I get it. We’re humans and sparks do fly sometimes. However, watch your words. Choose your words carefully. Never end a conversation on a bad note. Hurtful words never suffice for a good ending. Words are powerful and the last you might ever say to someone might be a bad note. What time have you got to make amends?

Be polite. As Eric Hoffer rightly said, rudeness is a weak imitation of strength. Respect is reciprocal. Please and thank yous are so rarely used these days. Everyone expects something back but finds it hard to give. Give respect and it’ll be returned back to you!

You have a dream, pursue it. Go after it. Run along with it, till you get what you want. There is never a perfect time. The perfect time is the time you decide to make a start!

You’re there thinking they’re going to be around forever. Stop! There comes a time when the village idiot becomes wise. Don’t take people’s love for granted. One day, you’ll look through a microscope and you won’t be able to see a molecule of their presence, neither their shadow.

Grandmothers!!! Do not forget them. Care for them. Show them you love them. All they need is your love and the feeling that you are there. They don’t need your money.

Your wives, husbands, boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other:  Love, respect and care for them. Sometimes it’s not what we say; it’s what we don’t say that speaks louder!

Your kids: Give them that attention they crave. Love and care for them. When they’re old and grey your love is what they will remember, and that is what will remain with them.

Don’t give your loved ones the opportunity to doubt your love for them. You shouldn’t even have to say it. The way you treat them speaks volumes! Treat people like it’s the last you’re seeing of them.

One day it’ll be too late so give this life your best shot!

Don't live life in the What If Lane...

You don’t need a lot to show your love. All you need is to make time.

No man is an island, no man stands alone. You need people. You don’t expect them to come running when you need them if you you’ve treated them like they don’t matter.

What we forget is, when you take care of a good thing, that good thing will take care of you. Best believe.

You leave it till they’re dead, even your money and presence then won’t make things right.

With that, I wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget to celebrate your love in the littlest way possible.

Remember To Color Your Life With Love.....at any given chance!!
Happy Valentine's Day

Till then

Xoxo

Good at Love vs Good at being in Love

Hellooo my lovelies

*Smiling from ear to ear*  because this is a happy place for me. Coming back seeing all the views from all around the globe (despite my inconsistency) y'all still visit my page. This brings me a basket full of happy and that is all i want for Christmas. 

I hope i manage to throw that same love your way whenever i am around.

Christmas is round the corner and what better time to reflect on love...

Sometimes we think we are in love when in actual fact we just love the ''feeling'' of being in love. We love the cinema dates, the surprises, the dinner dates, the late night texts and that gooey feeling you get. Now all that doesn't last forever. The good mornings and the good nights, the spontaneous sex in all the wrong places, watching the sunset, the Public Displays of Affection, the Facebook displays and Instagram posts etc etc 

Sooo in love...i just cant get enough

Other times we are in love but are we REALLY in love when the dusty part of our souls does a grand appearance. The part that we try to hide from our significant other in the beginning. The part that we don't want anyone to know about. The part that will irritate the hell out of the next person. Will you still be in love?

''I Hate You''....the Breaking Up!

The question is what are you good at, good at being in love or good at love?

The truth hurts but, there comes a time when we must face the music in all aspect of our lives. In all types of relationship, you have the bitter and the sweet. You have the jolly good rides and the sore bumpy rides. We have the sunny days and the rainy days. We have days where you don’t wish to see anyone and you just want to close the blinds and wallow in self-pity and days that you just want to give everyone around you the gift of happiness with your smile and tightest hugs ever.

To cement that thought, I found this and I thought it is very true and makes a lot of sense. It actually caught my attention because it’s written in such an easy and light-hearted way that you can’t help but take in all that is being said. I absolutely love it.

‘’Some people are good at being in love. Some people are good at love. Two very different things, I think. Being in love is the romantic part—sex all the time, midday naps in the sheets, the jokes, the laughs, the fun, long conversations with no pauses, overwhelming separation anxiety … Just the best sides of both people, you know?

But love begins when the excitement of being in love starts to fade: the stress of life sets in, the butterflies disappear; the sex becomes a chore, the tears, the sadness, the arguments, the cattiness … The worst parts of both people. But if you still want that person by your side through all of those things … that’s when you know—that’s when you know you’re good at love.’’

~Matthew Healy

Hope you enjoy this little thought.

Seasons greetings and have a jolly good Christmas. 

Till then

Xoxo

Not Your Average...

I love me some creative mind. Like a magnet I am drawn to them. Like a magnet I cling to them.

This young talented man caught my attention. His talent is insane. His creativity is just extraordinary for his age. I was intrigued. 

Considering my age, (I'm not taking this age thing very well...*sighs*) Victor Osman Forna and I hold long interesting conversation. It feels like I’m actually talking to someone within my age rank. You'll be wondering why I mentioned this but most people I've noticed cannot hold a good conversation even if their existence depended on it. I am talking grown folks too. That alone is a skill. This guy is just one interesting individual too and wait for it.....we have never met in person. So once more I thank technology and social media which have succeeded in making our world one small place.

Oh...he's a genius with a capital G and he’s from the motherland too, Sierra Leone. Smashed his GCSE's like a boss! What i actually meant is the least was a C!! Listen, when I took my GCSE's I had U in mathematics, which I think personally means Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Waste-My-Time. I get it because God knows I wrote nothing on that paper. There was nothing to mark. It was only fair. So in my books anyone who can come out with an A in Mathematics is a force to reckon with. I would put his results on blast but I do not want y'all to start dribbling! 

Enough of his life...I think I've dug deep enough.

Among other things, this young man has a very assertive and creative mind. He writes poems and I absolutely love poems. I am always on the lookout for the next best thing. Especially ones that keep me inspired, motivated and make me think. I saw the poem and it spoke to my life. I love the way he thinks…

Healing process comes in different forms and for me one main path to healing is through others’ stories and testimony. When you read the poem am about to post, you will admit that it came from a deep, soulful  place and for that reason I respect and appreciate the time, thoughts, emotions and effort poured into this poem.

Writing is therapeutic, you might not know this, but you don’t have to be a writer to put pen to paper and pour your heart out. You don’t need any qualifications neither anyone’s approval. All you need is your pen and paper and your thoughts. Your thoughts don’t even have to be a collective one, just pour it out. When your heart is full, when the mind can take no more or when you can’t find a solace….put it into writing. There’s a healing awaiting and if you decide to share your story well that’s just amazing because in the process of healing your soul, you’re also helping another soul.

Here goes guys…Read, digest and enjoy!

Victor Forna ~ Not Your Average

Thoughts On A Rainy Day

Sitting by the Window… looking at the rain.
Drop after drop, thoughts fall upon my brain
Why do we suffer, why do we pain?
I just can't find the answer, no matter the much rain..
Closing my eyes, the rain I still heard.
Drop after drop, my thoughts were running mad.
They say God forgives, now that's just sad..
'Cause if he did why do mothers die?
'Cause if he did, why do babies cry?
Opening my eyes, my thoughts I still had.
Outside, the rain was pouring harder..
Inside my mind, my thoughts were getting madder..
Why do dogs die? They never ate that apple..
Oh rain! Tell me why! 'Cause they never ate that apple..
Why are we not all beggars?
Why are we not all royals?
All these questions… All no answers..
When the rain stops, I hope my thoughts will too..
But till the sun shines again,
I am sitting by the Window looking at the rain…

Praying these answerless questions get the f*** out of my brain.



It is always OK to release anger too while writing....it is OK! Just pour it all out.

Watch this space for the next ''Not Your Average'' (I like surprising people) 

PS:
He doesn't have a clue i did this. I felt it was worthy of sharing so i thought to do just that as i do with everything else i'm excited about. Stole your pic too.....sorry. *Hangs head in shame*

Till Then

Xoxo