Friday, 31 October 2014

The Expectation

The hopes, the expectations, the castles in the air all makes for a rather rude awakening. The fall is pretty serious and landing is never soothing to the bum.

“To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect”

Most times than often, that awakening is needed. It’s like a slap to reality from reality.

My theory is if you have to be awakened rudely like that then you have no business sleeping. When a situation arises where you can’t sleep you have no business being there in the first place. I have a thing for cosy, sureness and trust and if I can’t experience any of it…it leaves me empty with a lot of questions.

Why fall asleep? Why dose off? Why let your guard down and start expecting and hoping? Heck why do you even shut your eyes? Our expectations always sell us short. It’s all good to be hopeful and expecting people to behave in a certain way. It’s all good to think and expect….but keep your feet grounded, grounded on something solid.

Sometimes I think expectations come from a deep place within ourselves. Expectations comes from our pattern of thinking and trails of thoughts we have so carefully weaved in our heads. It can also be because of what we’re used to. It is a result of what you thought it was or should be. Other times, it is because of what you have experienced and certain experiences leaves you positively expectant.

Positively Expectant...

We expect people to act in a certain way. We expect them to do certain things and behave in a certain fashion and when they don’t that is where the awakening comes in. Yea that rude awakening.
We believe and want them to act in a certain way because we will act in that same manner given the same situation. We believe we will go that far for them so we expect them to do the same. We believe we will bend and break bones for them so we think they’ll be willing to do the same.

“Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds.

Well it doesn’t work that way unfortunately. People react to situations differently therefore you can’t expect the same level of reaction given the same situation. People think differently and we are all ever so different in various ways. I once read somewhere that when you stop expecting people to behave in a certain way, life becomes easier and you become happier. Expectation in a sense is self-destructive as you slowly build yourself up for disappointment.

'Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.”

Expectation is a child born from a comfortable place. I say comfortable because it is a situation or relationship or person or thing you thought you knew, they’ve become your playground, all so familiar and cosy. You knew all the back routes and the ins and out. You feel like you’re home and Boom…..expectation kicks in. Such a familiar territory with an unfamiliar trails. From a comfortable place like that, the awakening is never a good one.

The real

That awakening is your call to duty. It is your call to evaluate and re-evaluate. Look at the situation from all angles and analyse. What made you so expectant? Why did you ever start thinking they will do that for you or be that for you? Why did you even think you mattered that much to them? What sparked that expectation? What gave you hope that the situation would be all you’ve wished for or thought it would be? 

Wake up!

Things don’t pan out your way, so what? Situations don’t turn out as you would have liked, so what? Life goes on. Do not allow yourself to become bitter, frustrated or full of anger because disappointment does that to people. Remember your happiness is paramount. It doesn’t mean the situation was a bad situation or the person is a bad person, it simply means that people are different. People think differently. People react to situations differently.

Waiting and Expecting...

If you can handle the difference, then there is beauty in differences. To each their own. Personally I have learnt to never try to change anyone. As the wise saying goes, if you know how hard it is to change yourself then you will know how little a chance you have of changing others. Inspire change in them but never try to change them.

Accept them wholly or keep it moving. This applies to all situations and everyone. Expectations are always going to be there just remember to not fill your life with resentment and anger when it doesn’t create the vision you envisioned. You can’t expect everyone to be dedicated as you or have the same level of passion as you and this is a mistake made more often than we think.

Lower your expectations of people and you will never be disappointed. This doesn’t make you any less of a human neither does it diminish the person that you are. It doesn’t lower your self-esteem and you can walk with head held high. But what it’ll do is save you from unnecessary anger, pain, resentment and frustration. You really don’t need to be inflicting all that poison into your system. You can’t change people, and some situations are totally out of your control.

“My expectations are sky low, because I’m standing on a mountaintop.” 

Remember you can’t control everything that happens to you and around you but you can control how you react to it.

Till then


Thursday, 9 October 2014

100 Happy Days Challenge

Yes I did it. Yeeeaaaa!!

I can proudly say I am among the 29% of people who actually finished the challenge. Yippee!!

This was inspired by my colleague at work. I saw her doing it on Instagram and I thought to myself, I think I should jump on this bandwagon. What gave me the final push was how happy she looked in her photos and going through her photos it did put a smile on my face. So I thought, why not, And Doris’ 100 Happy Day Challenge was born on the 1st of July 2014.

100 Happy Days!!

Whatever I put my mind to, I see it all the way to the end and I knew I was setting myself up for something here, I wasn’t sure what but I knew it was going to be something. I started this challenge knowing I have made a commitment to being happy, a commitment to train my mind to look for the good in each day, a commitment to give a blind eye to negativity and upsets. I made a commitment to myself to be a happier person and this changed my perspective on so many things in life including the way I dealt with situations that were completely out of my control.

You are in charge of your happiness. You are the sole happiness proprietor of your soul.

I did mine on Instagram and before I can say I posted stuff for likes and other times just because I could, but as I got into the challenge, all the urge for likes disappeared and that was replaced by an urge to show the world what actually put a smile on my face. I didn’t care about people’s judgement. If it made me happy I posted it. That alone is happiness on its own. Not living for the approval of men, not living for likes and not doing things because you’re scared of how you might be perceived. That was a junk I got rid of and made space for all things happy.

If you live for men’s approval, you will die of their criticism

This challenge made me appreciate the little things. I am not going to tell you it was all happy days and honky dory because it wasn’t. I won’t lie to you and tell you that I was automatically happy and good things started happening to me, no. Neither will I tell you that I became richer or that every day was Christmas, because it wasn’t. However, what made the difference was the ability and the willingness this challenge created in me to look for the good in every bad situation, the blessing in every setback and to see the rainbow during the storm. It opened my eyes to the positives of life and closed my eyes to a lot of negativity.

If there was one thing this challenge taught me it’ll be, it could be worse.

Life is too short for moaning, sulking, whining, complaining and bearing grudges. If you can spend that time being happy, be happy if you can spend that time spreading happiness, spread happiness. Just strive to keep that smile on your face. If something is not going your way, change the way you look at it and deal with it differently. Whatever you do, remember a deep rotted happiness comes from within and it is tied to no man.

I urge you all to do it if you haven’t already. It is a challenge worth taking. However bear in mind it is a CHALLENGE. As simple as it may sound, as happy as it may look, some days you have to fight a little harder to see the sunshine. Some days you will not see any sunshine at all but take a deep breath and remember how blessed you are just to be in the land of the living. Other times it may be the smallest thing that put a smile on your face, go for it and don’t let judgemental people stop you from posting it.

Can You?

Be happy and Spread Happiness whenever you can.

Till then


Tuesday, 7 October 2014

121 Deaths In One Day!

I have been putting this post off for a long time but as I was scrolling down on Facebook,  I saw 121 deaths in one day from my motherland, Sierra Leone. I cried.

God where are you?

Who wants to blog about sad stuff, who wants to blog about people dying or even wants to dwell on an outbreak that is destroying our nation one death at a time?! Definitely not me. I created this blog for all things sunshine, all things happy and all things good but unfortunately life is not like that. We wake up one morning and our happy days have been replaced by a deadly disease killing children, adults, the rich and the poor.

Where do we go from here?

I saw the report on the 121 deaths in one day from the BBC website and tears welled up in my eyes. I felt helpless and frustrated. Anger and disappointment filled me just watching my people suffer and die helplessly because our government is busy collecting funds and doing nothing constructive to contain, maintain and eradicate this deadly epidemic. We've become a nation with no hope. I see no way out and this is a bad place to be.

I have never witness anything so deadly. I have never encountered anything this destructive. When i lost a young friend to Ebola, it became more than just mere news, it became a reality. It hits home hard. Yea.... that put a sting on it for me. I have families back home,families consisting of young boys and girls who are constantly living in fear. Afraid and scared and locked within the four walls of their homes. Simply devastating.

Ebola is tearing my nation apart and if you haven’t heard what Ebola is by now, then I don’t know which planet you live on. Ebola is wiping my nation out one day at a time. Now Ebola may look like an African problem because of our poor and inadequate health facilities and mere ignorance which I can’t deny helped play a great part in its spread. I can’t believe there are people who still believe Ebola is a myth and just an easy way of conning money off the international communities. I’m just speechless.

If 121 death in one day is not a wakeup call then I don’t know what is. No country should have to go through this ordeal. No one deserves this, no one!

Employment affected and subsequently putting a dent in the economy. For a nation that was just finding its feet, that is the last thing we need. Education system interrupted and lives have been turned upside down in the pace of few months. People are overdosed from the excessive use of chlorine. You look around and people you once shook hands with are now suspects, even your family becomes a suspect. What a sad way to live.

Health workers in the forefront putting their lives at risk gets the hard fists of Ebola and just in case we haven’t shown enough gratitude, I SAY THANK YOU.

Health workers in the forefront,
Just In case You Forget, we appreciate you!

What is our government doing to help and protect us? Well from what I have learnt, not much. They are meant to seek our interests but the spirit of greed and selfishness won’t let them. They live in safety. They have flown their families out to safety and those who can’t are left at the mercy of this deadly disease. All I hear in the news is this money have been donated, this organisation have donated this amount of item…even if I tried I can’t call the amount that is being donated every now and again. What are we doing with all this funds? I am lost and perplexed. Surely there must be a way out.

Mr Government stop squandering all the money. Heck just stop! Selfishness and greed is not why you were put in authority. Remember these people voted you in because they trusted you. If you are not moved by the tears and cry of the nation can you be at least concerned and moved by the number of deaths per day and the alarming rate at which this disease is spreading. Stop being greedy. Stop and look around. The nation is dying a slow death. How can one be so heartless in the midst of all this?! Stop and listen to the death bells. Stop turning a blind eye to the real issue at hand. Are you going to wait for one of your relatives to be affected before you put real mechanisms and strategies in place to combat this deadly outbreak? Mr Government just stop, take a minute to look around and see what is happening, Maybe just maybe you will be able to open your eyes  and see the tragedy, pain, mayhem and confusion of the nation.

Mr Government, do you ever feel like you've failed us?!

Mr Government, How do you sleep at night knowing the multitude is crying, living in daily fear of death? Do you feel accomplished? Do you feel like you’ve done your best? Do you think you have lived up to the expectations of the nation? Or for a swift moment, do you ever feel a pang of disappointment and failure? Mr Government what are you doing? Stop playing and wake up to the reality of things.

I understand Ebola is not the easiest of things to eradicate or get under control. I totally understand it’s not the cheapest thing to maintain but if the outbreak was initially taken seriously and all precautions put in place as opposed to the continuous denial on the government and the people’s part then we won’t be in the 121 death per day zone. We won’t have lost so many health officials as we have already. We won’t have such high rate of death at all. We wouldn’t have lost so many friends and family to this deadly epidemic. There are African countries bigger than Sierra Leone but they weren’t blind to the realities, they valued life so they took precautions. Why are we like this?!!

Sierra Leoneans are you ready to vote them in government again? Are you ready to beat your drums, cups and pans to make sweet music and moonwalk to the lies they will tell you once again? Are you ready to throw your lappa in the air and dance to the deception? Are the masquerades ready to go and the small and shallow minds ready to digest and collect that bag of rice and a gallon of palm oil? Shine your eyes my people, shine your eyes.

Why are we so gullible and satisfied with so little? Why do we fall for all these lies time and time and again? Why are we so easily fooled? Is this just mere greed on our part or maybe we’re just too trusting? Is this because of poverty and the incapability to provide for our own? Or is it just mere laziness and idleness? We need to do better. Only reward a great work with your claps and dances. You can’t reward a child for being bad, how do you expect them to act right and do better? To make our government work in our favour we have to speak up, act right and work with them.

Sierra Leoneans we have to drop this lackadaisical attitude. We have to do better, if our government have failed us then we need to get it together. We need to educate, enlighten and sensitize ourselves and acknowledge the fact that Ebola is real and that no one is exempted. I may not reside in Sierra Leone but from what I have seen some think this is one big joke. They think they are immune to Ebola. Let’s not act ignorant and put our lives at risk and the lives of others. Prevent and protect.

Certain precautions have been set in place like avoiding public gathering but in Sierra Leone the law is only for those who wish to obey it. Laws and regulations are made but not implemented. People do not acknowledge them or should I say the law only goes so far as your money is willing to spread?! The rich and the well to do are exempted from the law but what we are forgetting is that the rich and well to do are not exempted from Ebola. Get real Sierra Leoneans. Lawlessness is not the way forward especially in desperate times like these.

Now our only hope is God but…

However there’s hope but God helps those who helps themselves. God will only intervene when we are ready for him to. Ebola is not bigger than God, no never! Our God is ageless, timeless and he delivers us in time of trouble but don’t go organising a rally and expect God to show up and save you. It doesn’t work like that. God saves but he is not a magician.


Not even Ebola can taint the beautiful image of Sierra Leone in my head. Not even Ebola can take away my fond memories of the motherland. Sierra Leone is still my paradise. Christmas is round the corner, what would normally be spent in Sierra Leone drinking coconut from the shell or star beer at number 2 or Lumley beach while enjoying the sunshine on my skin and breeze through my hair is now looking a lot gloomier, soggy and cold.

Not even Ebola can taint my memories of SIERRA LEONE!

Lumley Beach - taken on one of my holidays in the motherland.

What happened to Sierra Leone? I think Sierra Leoneans happened to Sierra Leone.

Sierra Leone is down but we are not out. We shall rise again. We shall overcome. Our God delivers. He will not leave us neither forsake us. In times of trouble we must be bold enough to call on his name. I know the hardest thing to display now is faith. In the midst of trials and tribulations our faith is low and tested but we must not give up.

God will show up...and show out

God will show up and show out for Sierra Leone in Jesus name!

Here's a poem from a frustrated Sierra Leonean, living in Sierra Leone.

Hope in a time of ‪#‎Ebola‬ by VFORNA.
Ebola comes to a nation,
and there is more;

These are the reasons why,
Ebola may succeed.

I close my eyes to pray,
yet all I see are people dying,
What is happening? 
The doctors and the nurses
the ones giving 
all the caring 
God rest their selfless souls
but with them gone
Ebola may have won

Down my cheeks tears roll,
as I see a child of four in pain,
the mother dead,the two will soon meet again.
Oh ‪#‎SierraLeone‬, ebola has left its dirty,dirty stain.

Education on a stand still,
‪#‎vaccine‬ has not been found still,
People don't know their next step
as the nation tumbles down hill.

Ebola will end,yes it definitely will.
But first we must unite as a nation
Throw away the tribalism
Love our country,increase our ‪#‎patriotism‬. 
Lying - thieving politicians, 
put the country first, 
use the money 
the ‪#‎world‬ sends in. 
Life is but one chance
Sierra Leoneans, kill the ignorance,

Ebola is real.
a bleeder,
Killer headaches and fever,
Ebola is real.

But together,‪#‎united‬ against Ebola,
there is hope still.

~ Victor Osman Forna

Don't allow Ebola to taint this image of our beloved land inyour head.
We shall overcome!

Till then


Wednesday, 1 October 2014

From Ordinary to The Extraordinary

Just won’t settle.

That’s it.

I’ve always had an overstretched mind flooded with chaotic thoughts. A taste bud which have often been described as fairy tale like. But when you encounter a soul that teases your taste buds, make your eyes see differently and awaken your senses……you can’t go back.


You have been stretched, probably not to your limits but have you ever seen a rubber band go back to its usual width and girth after being stretched?! Me neither

Whatever is normal, i do not wish to find out....

How do you go back to normal?! After all this, normal ceases to exist and Normal have never appealed to me anyway. Hold up, whatever is normal?

I guess I shall never find out.

You came like a storm in the summer. I was unprepared. Oh no I wasn’t ready. One thing is for sure, I live for the unplanned moments. The moments that leaves me breathless, transports you to another realm and it gets you thinking, where have you been all this while?!

You came like a lion among a swarm of bees, sweeping everything in your way to the curb. I never saw it coming and I think I missed that memo. You came like a burst of fresh air, giving the atmosphere all that good vibe and all that jazz. I liked it. I liked it a lot.

I tried to question it but I came up with no answers. I tried to make sense of it but failed miserably and again I tried to understand it but then I realised it is not my place. Some moments are best enjoyed and savoured in and letting it all go. As if I needed an answer, I was watching Mistresses when one of the characters said:

‘’...maybe it’s good to let go off plans and just make room for amazing things to happen.’’

I like questioning, maybe that was my answer right there. I like knowing but I learned that I can’t always control what happens to me, I can only choose the way I react towards it all.

Great conversation. Amazing time. Natural connection. Deep provoking thoughts. Mind sex. Stimulating intellect. Mind orgasms. Just great time, you know what I mean, great time that creates moments you will remember for the most part of your days if not the rest.

The moments where you entwine fingers and your heart skips a beat. The moments when you’re awaken by a nice warm cuddle and a gentle kiss on the forehead that speaks a thousand words. The moment when you elbows meet and you feel that shiver down your spine like a raindrop on a cold winter’s day.

All Shades of Yes...

That feeling is what is what I live for. This moment is why I won’t settle. This is the reason why I know no grey areas. Even if it’s just for a short while, everyone must experience this feeling that you can’t quite put into words you can only take a deep sigh and close your eyes to relieve part of that moment ever so often.

While others brag of great sex, with a silent confidence and dignity you delivered mind orgasm, the unforgettable and all the unimaginable. I liked that a lot. Happy as a lark and a child without a care in the world, the little heart danced.

Be with Someone who you Can Be a Fool With...

Rarely do you come across someone that makes you think like there’s no box. How often do you come across someone who just make you smile like a Cheshire cat all day long? Someone who makes you want to do better and be better, someone who you can totally be yourself with without having to put up a face.

That is priceless.

A thoughtful person. Emotional intelligence. They hear what you’re not saying. Attentive. They find the true meaning behind your words. Kind. Your silences are never awkward. Every eye gaze sends an electric storm down your spine.

Now, that doesn’t happen every day.

’You light a fire inside of me that would make even the sun envious.’

Our generation brags about designers they can’t spell and alcohol they can’t even pronounce but when you check the worth of their brains, it’s not brag worthy. Priorities wrong and scattered all over the place. Spend time to add value to yourself. Make yourself indispensable. Stop bragging about simple things. I once read somewhere, Intelligence will never stop being beautiful….and that’s just it.

You want to brag about sex but you’re forgetting that sex is deeper than what meets the eye. It is deeper than a few inches of penetration but your shallow mind won’t allow you to think any different. When a woman bares her soul, she is telling you more than you can see, you have to listen with a third ear. She’s trusting you, and sending a message, whatever that message might be you have to be attentive and willing to understand it. Sex is a soul dance, sex is two souls in agreement but you want to just brag and talk about it all day like it’s nothing. What i mean is, you need some dose of intellect to understand and comprehend that.

Again i say, intelligence will never go out of fashion.

It's Rare, but it still exists....

If sex is all you have to offer, what happens when you’re grey and old? What do you laugh at and what memories would you have created if not in between the sheets?

The biggest mistake you will make is to drift off from someone who you once had the time of your life with. When you find something like that, even if the moment lasted for a brief while, hold on to that story because in years to come you will tell your stories to your daughters and light up a fire in them while giving them hope that life doesn’t always give lemons, if we look hard enough.

As my girl Maya Angelou rightly said, when you know better you do better.

Don’t settle for what is convenient, don’t settle for normal heck I mean don’t settle at all if it doesn’t speak to your little heart. The simple things makes up for the great big things in the end. Live for the moments that you can’t put into words.


Whatever it is that warms your soul and takes you to that happy place, keep that.

Till then