This one is for my ladies… Can we just get it together?
‘’There are things I want to do. Places I want to see. Cultures I want to explore. Sunsets I want to experience and sunrises I want to wallow in but….
I am going to wait till the love of my life gets here. I will hold on till Mr right knocks. I will pause my life till my knight in shining armour appears. My whole being shall be on recess. I shall not be moved!’’
Just stop right there…. And I am here to beg you to moooove!
How alarming it is to see young and capable ladies putting their lives on hold for love. They waste days and nights looking for life partners, months and years yearning for their soul mates. Only to realise few years down the line when it’s a little too late that Love finds you.
I believe in self-development, self-care and self-love. Let it be in your make up. Live it and let it be your truth.
Exhibit it so loud that it’ll separate the sheep from the wolves. So loud that your fears and insecurities are laid to rest. You know what they say, you set the standard of how people are meant to treat you. You set the standard of how people are meant to love you.
Ultimately…It all begins with you.
You want to eat in that plush restaurant but you want Mr Right to take you there, you want to go watch that movie but you need a guy to accompany you, basically you want to get your life together but you’re waiting on Mr Right.
Sister…get it together!
Mr Right will come but first…
You’ll need to stop being the devil’s workshop and get busy. You will need to set your house in order, you've got to develop your inner man and when you've grown to be your own person, you’ll need to be unapologetically you.
You’ll have to know who you are as a person. Find yourself while you’re single. I am not saying your life should be perfect for you to get a Mr right but relationship is hard work so knowing who you are makes the workload a tad easier. If you don’t know who you are, chances are you will easily get lost in someone else.
Many a times we want someone to love we for who we are but deep down we do not even know who we are or what we want.
If you go into the relationship as a burden, you’ll break its back before it even set off to the stage of walking. Refuse to be that needy girl.
So I ask you...
How are you going to present yourself to him? How are you going to introduce yourself to him? You want him to love you for you but who are you again? Do you even know?
The truth is even if Mr Right comes in all his glory and you’re in the wrong place in your life, he will still not be your Mr right. This is called a misplaced opportunity.
Don’t be that person.
Believe it or not, the woman who’s on her grind, fixing her life, living fully and not waiting on no validation is more attractive than that bum sitting at home waiting for Mr right to buy her that red bottoms.
Likewise, A finely built house on the market is often more expensive and more marketable than an unfinished and tattered house. Simply because it holds more value because the owner has spent time and energy into making it that way.
Your being is your temple and you are the architect, put in the work. Make it beautiful. Make it interesting.
A Relationship involves two people working towards a common goal not one man financing the needs of a needy and desperate girl. A relationship is not a guy with a net ready to rescue the other party from unhappiness. A relationship is not the answer to all your problems.
People who often wait around for Mr Right expect too much. And when those needs are not met, they say he was a failure but how did you contribute towards that failed relationship? Why were your expectations so high? Why did you think he will be your endless supply of happiness while you put in zero efforts? Why did you think he will be your all time high?
Are you looking for a partner or a saviour?
Again I say be unapologetically you so much that when that knight in shining armour makes an appearance even if he loves you less on some days, you’ll still be you and you won’t be any less of a person.
When a man finds you in that form, you leave him with no choice but to treat you with the love and respect you’ve already been showering on yourself. He will stand up to be the man that you need him to be which is the man that would love, respect and adore you if he doesn’t then he has no place in your temple, no place in your life and kindly be unafraid to show him the exit and continue to stay fabulous.
He should meet you in all your elements…doing great things for yourself, enjoying life to its fullest and relishing each moment of now. He should take off where you left off. He should complement your being and not complete you.
Don’t waste your time on earth waiting on your full stop. Look within. God has given you all you need to succeed in this world you just need to recognise and act accordingly.
Don’t lose sight of who you are. You’re packed with greatness and awesomeness. Walk with your head high and exude all the elements of greatness you were created with like excellence, grace, elegance, happiness, contentment, confidence and more.
You’re so much more. If only you know baby girl.
However, it is not wrong to desire a man, it is not foolish to want someone to share your life with and it is not settling to wish you had someone to experience certain things with you but don’t put your life on hold.
Remember you might not have all your shit together but with all your flaws and imperfections you are still complete. You are the package!
You should be great all by yourself so when Mr Right comes, you’ll be a force. You’re good all by yourself but with the right guy you should be better. You’re strong all by yourself but with the right one you should be stronger. You should be happy but with the right guy you should be happier.
Because the right people brings out the best in you...even on bad days and the days you find it hard to smile. The best people inspire you to do better. Basically whatever they bring to the table should add to you and not take away from what you’ve already built.
Don’t stay in the dumps and expect your prince charming to come rescue you from the debris of your senselessness.
You are your own person first before you can be someone else’s.
So I say to you...
Go on that trip, dine at the finest restaurants, treat yourself, be happy, date yourself, travel wide and far, keep smiling, be unapologetically you, trust your dopeness, be alone with your thoughts, dance, buy the shoes, go on that spa date, stay on your grind, don’t wait on weekends, pay your bills, be unbothered, take up a hobby, go to the movies and buy your own popcorn, validate yourself, be kind, laugh at yourself, live, be thoughtful, pray and slay!
Who knows, during this course, Mr Right might just walk in.
Stay fabulous my ladies!