Monday, 19 March 2012

Settling? But Why? Is that all you are worth?

Settling..hmmm *Shakes Head*

This is becoming a growing issue in our society. The sad thing about it is when I see abled, promising young people settling for less than they deserve at the same time wasting their lives away when they deserve so much more. But why?

What I define as settling is when someone decides to forget their value and decides to compromise for less than they deserve. Do you know the damage that does to you? It eats you up gradually from the inside,mentally and physically and by the time you wake up from your slumber,My friend it's a minute too late!

Settling.... no child of mine will be settling for trash when he or she deserves the rich red meat! The only time you will catch me settling for less is when I am haggling a price and that is because I am at an advantage at the end of the day. If I feel depressed or suppressed in any situation,I am finding the nearest exit, yes the nearest one because I value my life and my happiness more than anything. I am worth it...oh yes I know this! Sometimes trying to force what is never meant to be is a recipe for disaster and ultimately self destruct.

The way settling is becoming a trend is just crazy, I say crazy because i don't see any reason for someone to be settling regardless of your situation in life which is normally the most common excuse for screw ups. An awfully large amount of people are settling but they are unaware. Times are hard I get it, but nothing is worth your freedom and rights,above all things your life! Your life is a gift to you from God,so please act like it is priceless and handle it like it is Golden. Let no man tell you otherwise,regardless of the part they play in your life.

I can think of a million and one reasons as to why people settle but that still doesn't mean it is right or that it makes any sense.There is no justifiable excuse for settling,yes I said it. Life is full of problems and setbacks and  until you learn to tackle life's problems for yourself, settling for less in someone's life ain't going to make them go away. You  might think you are living life in the safe lane by accepting whatever is thrown at you from all angle but I tell you now that you are in fact living life dangerously. Dangerously because you are clearly setting your future up for a disaster because when the comfort carpet is swept from underneath your feet,what are you going to fall back on?

People settle under different circumstances for various reasons such as money, age, power, time, fear, ignorance, cultural beliefs,  poverty and so many others, to name but a few.

Let us look at the most common situation where people settle for less. I guess you all know it has to be relationship or if you have another circumstance please let me know in the comment below, after all we are all learning and i am a willing learner. :)

I am not an expert in relationship but one thing i know for sure is i don't settle for anything less than I deserve in any kind of relationship, no matter how handsome or rich the guy is or how promising the situation looks. Nothing holds me down in a bad relationship,if the guy ain't acting right, I'm out. I see many people in a bad relationship and they claim to be in love. Love at the expense of your life? Is it worth it? You are living under the same roof with a cheating scum who you have been engaged to for 5 or more years and he still haven't come to the scene where he puts a ring on the finger and yet you take care of his 2 kids,cook,clean and wash his dirty linings. Do you think this person values your life? You are taking all this from him in the name of love but do you think he truly loves you? Think!
The constant deceit and lies is bad for your health and self esteem. At this rate, you are better off on your own. Don't go thinking you are a ride or die chick,My friend recognise the difference between being dumb fool and being loyal to your man. Don't stay in a bad relationship and convince yourself that you are doing it for the kids...even the kids won't be happy to see their mum unhappy. Love yourself and walk away!

OK so you are fast approaching your ''sell by date'' as a woman and if Mr Right don't come along soon you will happily settle for gramps! Really?!?  Let me just quickly add, there aint nothing like a sell by date. As a woman if you have been living a decent life and taking the utmost care of yourself, tell me why you wouldn't be in good shape? Settling won't make you happy so why settle at all? Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves questions and when you start answering them then you will see how blind you have been and how much you have undervalued your life. So you managed to bag any guy that first came along, regardless of his baggage, why? His baggage could be your one step to death! That is why I personally think every woman or man must seek God first and all other things will be added. Some battles might appear easy on the eye but we just can't win them single handedly...We need the hand of God! You will be surprised when the right person will come along at the right time when you least expected it - No fuss, no pain just a perfect fit. Don't settle!

So you want the whole she-bang at a certain age. The perfect guy/woman, Kids, Big house, Good job et al. That is all well and good till you decide to get it at all cost even if that means settling for less. Sleeping with the boss, back-biting on your colleagues, stealing, dishonesty, PHD syndrome (Pull Him Down) etc. Why oh why would you do that to yourself? Degrading yourself from all angle. Slap yourself!!
We plan our lives out even as a young kid growing up but that does not mean it is going to pan out that way. As long as you are working hard at achieving your dreams, you are in the right path even if things don't happen at your pace. Patience is a virtue,exercise it in your life instead of settling. Marriage,kids and prosperity are all given by God - Seek his face!

Cultural beliefs presents us with so many limitations in life and yet we succumb to all its rules and regulation. This can also be down as ignorance. Cultural clash and beliefs. Don't marry her because she is from that family or she is from that part of the village. Don't marry him because his family has a history of witchcraft and ill luck or because he is from a poor family so you can't get married. So you are forced to bottle your feelings and emotions till your parents see a suitor that is suitable for you. What about your choice and what you want? Is that not important? You decide to settle for whoever your parents see fit for you even though you might deserve better. This is not right!

A young, able and talented individual being treated like a black plastic bag ( ie a cheap, worthless, replaceable bin bag with little or no use) by his/her partner because they depend on them for their next meal. You lazy cow! Why would you do this to yourself when you are more than capable of providing for yourself if you put the work in? You decide to take all the crap from this person just because your livelihood depend on them. Now you are settling due to your laziness. What happened to being independent and finding your own? Go out and find a job,no matter what type of job it is. You will be respected for the mere fact that you  have a job. It is a job, it feeds you and pays the bills what do you care what anyone thinks? Get a job and stop being treated like a charity case.

Settling is really is bad, the moment you decide to settle for less that is exactly what you are going to receive. You deserve the finest things in life why go for mediocre?

Forget what you want & remember what you truly deserve!

You were designed for greatness. Wake up and smell the coffee. If it means going to Specsavers to purchase the best pair of specs money can buy to see that you deserve the best, I beg please do so.

Know The Difference!