Wednesday 9 December 2015

10 Seriously Insane and Ridiculous Trendy Craze in 2015






1. Over juicing and over grinding –  I think 90% of us own a juicer or a smoothie machine as I am penning this and the rest are just waiting for it to go on sale. We are all about that eat clean and get lean life, which is great, don’t get me wrong. We grind and smash everything in the way. From nuts to kale to spinach, you name it and everything is organic. Can I just confess that I didn't know what kale was till 2015? Well we thank God. The year of enlightenment and the organics!





The Year Of The Organics


Now whether it is for health purpose or solely for the sake of joining the charade, I guess we will never find out. Yep 2015, we’re all about that herbal life. How is it going for ya?!



2. And along came the words that do not make sense at all but strangely they somehow do work. On Fleek…which basically refers to the quality of something, the level of perfection and correctness. Yassss which is the emphatic endorsement of something, when you say yassss, that’s you putting your stamp of approval on something. Doll which is a term of endearment used to refer to an attractive female, this is surprising mainly used by girls. So yea…we went all crazy with these slangs and it didn't stop there, there’s litt, Basic, Bae and ratchet. Let's not forget the hash-tag over-usage. I blame the Americans!




The Only Bae I Know Is Bacon & eggs



3. Eyebrows – it’s as if we have just discovered eyebrows. Like what did we do back then when it was just some stray pieces of hair above our eyes? Now we have numerous shapes and sizes, frames and lengths, shades and tones…some are even in High Definition. I must say we’ve all gone through our Nike days where the left eyebrow would be doing the Azonto and the right is doing the Harlem shake. On some days, the eyebrows will be looking like they’re about to take flight. It’s almost like an art now. No shame in our game, brow game too strong!



The Power Of Eyebrows!



4. And this make up madness is slowly taking over our lives… the contour, the highlights, the 50 shades lippies, the blushers, the lash lengthening mascaras, the lashes, the concealers... ayeeee! They’re not even cheap but we will stop at nothing to get close to perfection. Yes that is the problem, perfection. We are obsessed with perfection which is never attainable. Never. Sometimes the transformation almost resembles a miracle. I can confidently say, in 2015 we took our make-up technique to another whole new level. The level of perfection!



There Are Levels To This Thing...




5. The Brown coat and the prestige floppy beach hat facade- Now this had me laughing because it’s funny what a brown or fawn coat and a floppy hat can do for one’s esteem. I do not say this lightly when I say girls seriously behave differently when they’re in the above attire. We walk like we inhale flavoured air and you can’t tell us nothing. I knew it was getting extremely mental when we walked into a night club the other night and 80% of the girls were actually in their brown coats, I was confused. So you’re going to boogie the night away in that hot stuff?! So what is it about this floppy hat and waterfront coat that leave girls feeling like a million dollars? I blame Kim Kardashian.






6. Waist trainers – again this had me bawling with laughter. The video tutorials are pure comedy, not to talk of the pictures. They look like they are about to pass out. It does look super uncomfortable as well and even to crack a smile is a real effort. It resembles pain and I know what pain looks like. I am not bashing the waist trainers all I am saying is there are easier ways. Why take the stairs when there is an elevator. Let’s invest in healthy eating habits as opposed to waiting till the problem becomes a mountain. But 2015 brought out the waist trainers and they are hilarious. Genuine question, do they work? Is it just a temporary fix? Ok bye…


Compressed to the gods and back!


7. Beautiful soul - Beautiful in and out. R E A L L Y?! Over usage never sounded so positive! I have a thing now where I count how many ‘’beautiful soul’’ and ‘’beautiful in and out’’ I see for the day on social media….especially on the birthday shout outs. Again I am not bashing the beautiful souls. I’m just here clapping and chewing my popcorn whilst thanking God that we’re all beautiful souls and beautiful in and out in 2015. Please take it into 2016. I need to know how I can be one though. I missed the memo on this one. hehe



8. Netflix and chill – Well in layman’s terms, this simply means, drink alcoholic beverage, hangout and have sex. The mildest term ever used to command sex. This is the term we carefully carved in 2015 which informs the other party that there would be sex involved by the end of the night after the consumption of some cheap alcohol and hangout.  Netflix and chill….Isn’t it funny that the term that screams everything about movies involves everything but watching a movie? We are a very crafty and creative generation. The movie will probably be on for decoration and background music while the sexual escapades take place. Yes, in 2015 we mastered the art of Netflix and chill. Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on…



The Beginning Of The End



9. Beard Gang– One question though, just like girls discovered eyebrows, have you guys just discovered beards too? Someone must have lied to these guys that all girls love beards. I don’t! I really don’t! And I am a girl. So stop putting glitters on ya beards and acting like I’ll overlook everything else just because you’ve got a beard. It even feels weird writing this. However, some of you guys do serve ferociously and y’all be looking like something edible. We are girls and we are all individuals therefore we are all attracted to different things. Ya heard?! Mr Beard man!



Someone Please Stop Them


10.  Finally in 2015, we specialised in gibberish. I can’t. I just can’t. Dead. I'm weak. My heart can’t. I have no words. - Eerrmm excuse me. Are you ok there, cat got your tongue? What happened to your vocabulary? The funniest one is when you hear girls giving senseless compliments and all they’ll say is ‘’babe you look so... I can’t even, like I just can’t babe.’’  I am just here wondering what kind of pointless compliment is that?  Why are we so lazy? Can we just get it together? Please and thank you.








Ok…phew. I must admit this was fun writing and I hope you have as much fun reading it too. Don’t take it personal. I do some of the stuff mentioned above too and for that I am just as weird and crazy as you all.


So what now? Do we wave bye to these and create new ones? Or we’re carrying them over to 2016?


I am just excited to see the new 2016 trends. They keep getting weird and weirder. Either way, I'm ready.


Stay weird. Normal is no fun.




Till then


Xoxo





Monday 23 November 2015

She is your Once Upon A Time …



She looked at you like the sun, the moon and adored you like a priced possession. She spoke proudly of you but she can hardly say the same for you.

She saw a man, a teacher, her prince charming, a motivator and her best friend. She was enveloped in you and engulfed in all the madness you came with and nothing else made sense.

But one thing was for sure…she had hope and she was a patient woman. Patiently hoping that one day you’ll change. Hoping one day you’ll be the man that she wants you to be. Hoping one day you will give her the love that she deserves but little did she know that you can’t save a man from himself. 

Sometimes you have to walk.




Sometimes You Have To Walk


She saw what no one ever saw in you. Not that she couldn’t get any man but she chose you day after day, the only difference was you didn’t choose her. She was constantly looking for angels in demons and that was her problem.

All she ever did was love you, loved you faultlessly and tirelessly but you treated her like she was ordinary. She was there for you, she was your greatest fan even when you looked upon her like a groupie.

You gave her sleepless nights in exchange, tears-filled day dreams, you trampled her trust and you rained abuses on her, emotional abuses, constant torture and emotional turmoil. She didn’t deserve none of it, no one does.

Day after day, she gave you her all. Night after night she was there to put a smile on your face….months after months she held on even tighter even when all you threw at her was dirt.

In the pursuit of being the woman for you, she learnt your language, memorized your favourite song and learnt your favourite recipe. She danced to your ugly tunes even when it was hard to find a rhythm.

Your time was all she wanted. She never once asked you for the world...yet you deprived her of everything. In your absence she defended you, People said you were no good but she grew deaf ears. I guess that’s what happens when you love someone right? Yet still she never gave up.

She did stupid things to catch your attention and with every passing day, she tried to make herself better. She tried to be the best she can because you made her feel like she wasn’t good enough.

She betrayed herself so she could be loyal to you, deprived herself so she could be all you wanted her to be even though she didn’t know how to be the woman you wanted. She tried, daily she tried!

Your indecent behaviour was like a sharp-edged tool which took a dig at her self-esteem day after day…one hurt at time. Making her question her self-worth.
You are the kind of man our mothers warned us against.

You pushed her, my god did you push her. How much can a single soul embody?!



How Much Can A Single Soul Embody?



She was a good woman and she deserved way better, and you knew it but the boy in you couldn’t help but to destroy a good thing.

A good thing given to someone who is not ready for it will never serve its purpose. She was too good for you and that was the problem.

You just couldn't recognise a gem when you have one in your possession so you treated it like any invaluable. The boy in you didn’t know that precious stones don’t always come to people like that. The boy in you was immature to handle it all and so you crushed it.

Or maybe

You thought she’ll be around forever and she will never grow wings to fly.
Don’t underestimate the willpower of a tired woman. She was tired and all the women in her was tired.

You exhausted her last fibre of strength.

But one thing you didn't know was that anything being pushed against the wall so much will eventually bounce back and when they do they will cease to be the favourite toy that you loved to toy with so much.

Making you happy was becoming unaffordable to her. She couldn’t afford you any more. You were costing her, her own happiness.  Holding on was doing more harm than good. True strength is not always about how long you can hold on, she learnt that a greater strength is found in letting go.

So she did


She collected her thoughts. Shook off your disrespect and disregard for her. Packed her bags. Adjusted her crown and wiped her tears. She puts one foot in front of the other …and away she went and she never looked back.



Eventually the ''fool'' wakes up.  


She thought enough is enough and she decide to love herself better. She realised she was worth more. She realised that love doesn’t have to hurt. She came up for fresh air and realised she’s been suffocating the whole time. She needed it, more than ever she needed a breath of fresh air.

You still didn’t realised you've lost a good thing because you were just a boy.
But years later, as we all know you always come back.

You started seeing her with someone else. She has a smile you never gave to her. A spring in her steps you’ve never seen in her. She looked beautiful now because you’ve never actually took the time to look at her. She is happy and you’re there wondering where you went wrong.



Her Smile Is Brighter...


She makes someone else really happy now and you started wishing it was you. She wakes up next to someone who knows what he got when he has it. He treats her like she’s golden. And you’re there turning green with jealousy.
And then It hit you…it hit you hard that this whole time, you loved her but you just didn’t know how to.



Why do guys have to wait till they lose something before they realise its worth?


Now you’re begging to come back. Nonstop phone calls. Emails and texts. Trying to distract her from the good. Trying hard to pave your way cunningly with tails between your legs.

It’s a little too late

She is ignoring you. And now it’s easy. It became even easier when flashes of the pain you caused her came to her in waves and she remembered how she almost drowned trying to save a man from himself.

She is in a better place now. A heaven you never created for her.

Moreover she knows better now. She’s being treated with respect and care and being showered with the love she deserves. Her mind have been stretched and she’s not going back. She has no urge to.

You’re there telling people about her. Her love was so great it turned you into a story teller.

Yes, the love of a good woman misplaced will turn you into a story teller. She is now your once upon a time. She is the love you had but let get away and you just can’t shut up about her.

You can’t finish your favourite beer because thoughts of her flood your mind. You just can’t stop talking about her. You can hear her laughter and you remembered how she stood by you even though you never once glanced at her.
All the other women don’t even matter no more, you just want her but she is gone.

You quiver and shake and whisper her name in your sleep like a fervent prayer but she’s gone.



Wallowing In Regrets...


Now you realise you've lost a good thing and you wish you were the one to make her that happy. This is the moment you realised you messed up.

You had your chance remember? She waited on you to do right by her. But you blew every single chance she ever gave you. She was right there with you while you looked at other women. She made you the centre of her world while you held her with a pinch of salt.

Always looking for the next best thing. Here’s the thing about always looking for the next best thing, even if you did find it you’ll still never be satisfied because you’re still searching for the next best thing.

And all she ever asked was for you to see her but you gave her bundles of sorrows, wreathe with endless heart aches.

What’s a girl to do?

How I see it, the only mistake was that she gave you everything she had without making sure you wanted it.



‘’Why is love intensified by absence?’’


The ever sure lesson remain that anything we take for granted gets taken away. And she was no exception.


The worst thing ever to happen to a man is to drag a good woman in the dirt so much that she start looking at you like you’re ordinary when once upon a time she looked at you like you were the sun.



She Used To Look At You Like The Galaxy




‘’The most haunting moment, I believe
is when love turns into a memory.’’




Till next time



Xoxo








Friday 23 October 2015

Complementary Not Completion


This one is for my ladies… Can we just get it together?



Let's Get It Together


‘’There are things I want to do. Places I want to see. Cultures I want to explore. Sunsets I want to experience and sunrises I want to wallow in but….

I am going to wait till the love of my life gets here. I will hold on till Mr right knocks. I will pause my life till my knight in shining armour appears. My whole being shall be on recess. I shall not be moved!’’

Just stop right there…. And I am here to beg you to moooove!



You Are Not a Rock...MOVE


How alarming it is to see young and capable ladies putting their lives on hold for love. They waste days and nights looking for life partners, months and years yearning for their soul mates. Only to realise few years down the line when it’s a little too late that Love finds you.


I believe in self-development, self-care and self-love. Let it be in your make up. Live it and let it be your truth.


Exhibit it so loud that it’ll separate the sheep from the wolves. So loud that your fears and insecurities are laid to rest. You know what they say, you set the standard of how people are meant to treat you. You set the standard of how people are meant to love you.

Ultimately…It all begins with you.



Yep You!



You want to eat in that plush restaurant but you want Mr Right to take you there, you want to go watch that movie but you need a guy to accompany you, basically you want to get your life together but you’re waiting on Mr Right.
Sister…get it together!


Mr Right will come but first…

You’ll need to stop being the devil’s workshop and get busy. You will need to set your house in order, you've got to develop your inner man and when you've grown to be your own person, you’ll need to be unapologetically you.


You’ll have to know who you are as a person. Find yourself while you’re single. I am not saying your life should be perfect for you to get a Mr right but relationship is hard work so knowing who you are makes the workload a tad easier. If you don’t know who you are, chances are you will easily get lost in someone else.


Many a times we want someone to love we for who we are but deep down we do not even know who we are or what we want.

If you go into the relationship as a burden, you’ll break its back before it even set off to the stage of walking. Refuse to be that needy girl.




Don't Be That Girl



So I ask you...

How are you going to present yourself to him? How are you going to introduce yourself to him? You want him to love you for you but who are you again? Do you even know?


The truth is even if Mr Right comes in all his glory and you’re in the wrong place in your life, he will still not be your Mr right. This is called a misplaced opportunity.

Don’t be that person.


Believe it or not, the woman who’s on her grind, fixing her life, living fully and not waiting on no validation is more attractive than that bum sitting at home waiting for Mr right to buy her that red bottoms.


Likewise, A finely built house on the market is often more expensive and more marketable than an unfinished and tattered house. Simply because it holds more value because the owner has spent time and energy into making it that way.


Your being is your temple and you are the architect, put in the work. Make it beautiful. Make it interesting.


A Relationship involves two people working towards a common goal not one man financing the needs of a needy and desperate girl. A relationship is not a guy with a net ready to rescue the other party from unhappiness. A relationship is not the answer to all your problems.




A Relationship Is Two People Working Together
Towards A Common Goal


People who often wait around for Mr Right expect too much. And when those needs are not met, they say he was a failure but how did you contribute towards that failed relationship? Why were your expectations so high? Why did you think he will be your endless supply of happiness while you put in zero efforts? Why did you think he will be your all time high?


Get real.

Are you looking for a partner or a saviour?


Again I say be unapologetically you so much that when that knight in shining armour makes an appearance even if he loves you less on some days, you’ll still be you and you won’t be any less of a person.


When a man finds you in that form, you leave him with no choice but to treat you with the love and respect you’ve already been showering on yourself.  He will stand up to be the man that you need him to be which is the man that would love, respect and adore you if he doesn’t then he has no place in your temple, no place in your life and kindly be unafraid to show him the exit and continue to stay fabulous.


He should meet you in all your elements…doing great things for yourself, enjoying life to its fullest and relishing each moment of now. He should take off where you left off. He should complement your being and not complete you.


Don’t waste your time on earth waiting on your full stop. Look within. God has given you all you need to succeed in this world you just need to recognise and act accordingly.


Don’t lose sight of who you are. You’re packed with greatness and awesomeness. Walk with your head high and exude all the elements of greatness you were created with like excellence, grace, elegance, happiness, contentment, confidence and more.


You’re so much more. If only you know baby girl.



No Apologies 'round here.



However, it is not wrong to desire a man, it is not foolish to want someone to share your life with and it is not settling to wish you had someone to experience certain things with you but don’t put your life on hold.


Remember you might not have all your shit together but with all your flaws and imperfections you are still complete. You are the package!


You should be great all by yourself so when Mr Right comes, you’ll be a force. You’re good all by yourself but with the right guy you should be better. You’re strong all by yourself but with the right one you should be stronger. You should be happy but with the right guy you should be happier.


Why?

Because the right people brings out the best in you...even on bad days and the days you find it hard to smile. The best people inspire you to do better. Basically whatever they bring to the table should add to you and not take away from what you’ve already built.

Don’t stay in the dumps and expect your prince charming to come rescue you from the debris of your senselessness.

You are your own person first before you can be someone else’s.



So I say to you...

Go on that trip, dine at the finest restaurants, treat yourself, be happy, date yourself, travel wide and far, keep smiling, be unapologetically you, trust your dopeness, be alone with your thoughts, dance, buy the shoes, go on that spa date, stay on your grind, don’t wait on weekends, pay your bills, be unbothered, take up a hobby, go to the movies and buy your own popcorn, validate yourself, be kind, laugh at yourself, live, be thoughtful, pray and slay!



Who knows, during this course, Mr Right might just walk in.




Stay Fabulous!



Stay fabulous my ladies!





Till then…



Xoxo





Friday 9 October 2015

Life of a wanderer


As the ever true saying goes

‘’Not all those who wander are lost’’


I have always had a bucket list and on that list was the urge to travel, so I made the decision to do just that. With or without a travelling buddy.

I am not trying to escape from anything, nor am I running away from something. I am not lonely. I am not on the rebound. I am not running towards something either. I have not been diagnosed with a fatal disease and given few months to live.

I am far from being lost.

I am just a girl that thinks there’s more to life than just going back home to Sierra Leone for Christmas and Easter holidays each year. I am a girl who thinks there is more to life than just work, pay bills and die. I am just a girl that thinks there’s always something new to learn if we allow ourselves. I am just a girl who is full of curiosity.


Therefore I set out.



 
Don't Judge Me




This decision was solidified after I received a return ticket for my birthday 2 years ago to Dubai. That was an eye opener.

It did whet my appetite to see more of the world and gave me just the zeal I needed.



The Eye Opener - Dubai



Therefore I set out to see at least two different countries each year. And since then I have been doing just that and sometimes I do exceed my limit and I’ll do up to three countries.


Some of these were done with travelling partners, others alone. But I’ll concentrate on the lone traveller for now.


I have spoken to so many people and they are scared to travel alone. They always need someone.

I can see why, with all the crazy news and natural disasters…you really don’t know.


But I say, Trust yourself a bit more.


First of all I am not saying I am totally fearless, what I'm saying is that I am just a girl who goes after what makes me happy. And in the journey of that fear does not play a part.


My mother fears my adventurous side. My brother thinks I'm ‘’free spirited’’ My Grandmother thinks i have a death wish.


All of the above makes me laugh.


One thing is for sure and that is I have never been scared once while on any of my journeys so far. I have been excited, anxious, and extremely happy but afraid? No! I guess the excitement takes away the spirit of fear.




The Excitement Overpowers the Fear - Malta



I think the journey of a solo traveller starts from within. You have to be able to be on your own, be happy on your own and be able to take the lead in your life. You have to be open, cautious and accepting. You have to learn how to behave when things do not go your way and the consequences your decisions have on others.


All of this and more are things you have to conquer before you can venture out into an unknown land all by yourself.


There’s nothing to fear. You will discover parts of you that you never knew existed. You will understand hidden parts of you better and you will find out that you’re braver, wiser and more capable than you thought.


Are you scared of the journey or are you scared of the label people will throw your way?


People are going to think you’re lost, some will say you’re recovering from something others will say you need help but what do you care?


Remember it is your life, labels don’t make you and they certainly can’t break you. If you love travelling, do it. You have nothing to lose and you will never regret the decision. Most times the people who have the most trash to say knows little or nothing about your life. You know yourself better and baby, the world is your oyster.


What are you waiting for?



What Are You Waiting For? - Ibiza


Which brings me to my next point. Some people’s lives have been put on hold. On hold because they are waiting for their finance to be right, for them to get their master’s degree, on hold till they get married or meet their prince charming, or till they land that million dollar job or maybe they’re just waiting to get it all together before they can embark on travelling, be it solo or not.


That is the thing, I never waited for no perfect moments, I made the moments perfect. I didn't wait for no one, I realised that I have myself. I to solely rely on and sometimes you’ll find out that…that is enough.

I understand that the future is but an illusion so I am making the most of now.


My finances are not doing the happy dance but I made the sacrifice to forego certain things for the other. I wanted to travel so I make it happen. I had to go easy on the excessive shoes and Saturday night take outs in exchange for a plane ticket.


I forgo the extensive wardrobe in exchange for sunsets in a strange land and the colourful and blazing cultures of different people. I was intrigued by all the fascinations this beautiful world has to offer.


So I set off.







And I haven’t looked back, if anything I wished I had done it sooner. I wished I had made that decision sooner.
But never late than never.

People say to me all the time…

‘’Oh Doris you have too much money’’ ‘’Oh you tourist, touring the world’’
Even my employer once said, ‘’Doris I think we are paying you too much’’


Again I do laugh at some of these misconceptions. However they do not come at a surprise at all. These are some of the common misconceptions geared towards those who dared to see the world.


I am not rich. I do not travel to show off affluence. I do not travel to be labelled. I do not travel to prove anything to anyone. I do not travel because my life is put together all so neatly, in fact I am far from neatly put together.


I travel because I love waking up to the sunrise in different countries. I adore the sunsets in the evenings. I love culture and I find it very intriguing. I enjoy different palates. Languages excites me. I love everything that travelling presents. No two journey is the same, so imagine the excitement.
I live for those moments.


I am not here to say travelling doesn't cost money because it does but in future posts I shall be highlighting ways and means to show that you do not have to break the bank to see a different country ever so often.


Likewise, I am not here to convince you to take up travelling because we are all so different and we all have different hobbies and travelling may not be one of them.


But I am here to tell you that travelling is something that has a positive impact and it is everything it cracks up to be and everyone must venture out, at least once a year into the unknown.


We all need recess and someone once said that most things will work again if you only unplug it for few minutes….including you.


Take time out and fly away…sometimes it’s a bus away, other times just few minutes’ drive away.




Sometimes I am A Tourist In My City -
St Paul's Cathedral - London


Where would you go if you were given a free plane ticket?


Think about it.




Just Do It



Till then



Xoxo