Defining success….on your own terms

Create Your Own Wave

Relax

You’re doing fine. You’re doing great and you’re going to be alright.

Its baby steps till you get to where you’re meant to be. It’s one day at a time till you achieve that which you set out to achieve.

The definition of success have been shoved and pushed down our throats to the point that we think success has a universal face. No it doesn’t.

We’ve sized up success to be this one size fits all garment. Wear. Just wear, it will suit you. Perfectly. Take the universal umbrella and run with it!

Save your strength and stop!

Are you going to allow society to define success for you?

Are you going to be blinded by society’s standards of success?

Are you going to be burdened and amputated by the expectations of society?

Are you going to be lowered, reduced and dragged around by the success you see and read about daily?

Depressed and worried that you’re not doing enough. Sick and tired of the pace at which you’re progressing. Beating yourself up daily because you fail to measure up to the universal gauge of success.

So we live in fear and depression of not measuring up to what society deems as success.

It could all be so easy but we as humans are always looking for a map, some sort of guidelines, life manual or a list. Stop killing yourself slowly. Were you born with instructions?

Free your potential.

You must first understand and identify what is success to you. If you don’t know then you’ll be easily pushed around by the expectations of everyone else.

Walk in your own lane. Pave your own path at your own pace. Be prayerful and commit every move into God’s hands. Be proud of your littlest accomplishments. Celebrate every little achievement. Recognise your strength. Work on your shortcomings. Do not champion your weaknesses. Acknowledge your efforts and when you fail do not stop. Take a rest and try again.

Never push yourself to exhaustion. Amidst all your hard work, make sure you protect your happy.

Mama has spoken...Major Key!

If you gain the world and it can’t even put a smile on your face then you my friend is not succeeding.

If by any chance the only mountain you were able to move was you getting out of bed, so be it. Some days everything will go wrong, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Understand that you cannot give more than what is in you so always protect your well-being. And at the end after you’ve given your 100 and that extra 10%, sleep with satisfaction for you have done your best and remember your best is always good enough.

You fail at a task so what? Pick yourself up and try again. Most successes today were built on roadblocks of failures. Today they have a story, a story that inspires.

I encourage you to build yours….even if it’s one that everyone laughs at today at least it’s your story.

Don’t be distracted by the next man’s success. Don’t be jealous. You do not know how much they’ve prayed. My friend once tweeted that prayer is free…and indeed it is. So stay prayed up.

Avoid comparison for it is the greatest thief of time. Avoid looking back. Understand that you are in a competition with no one but the person you were yesterday.

Don’t allow anyone to scare you. Don’t allow fear to inhibit your potential. You have everything you need to succeed in you. Remember the grace of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you.

Focus!

How Many People Have You Helped?

There is no universal definition for success and success does not have a face, tone or shape. Success does not come in this glamorous package either. Success is not one size fits all.

Success is more an internal affair than external. You find it within first.

Personally money and wealth makes a fine pillow and offers a comfortable ride in this thing called life but they don’t count as success for me.

I know a lot of wealthy people who are not successful at life. Funny right? Well its possible and its sad so don’t let that be you.

Do you want to know what success is to me?

Here we go…

Success in my life is good health, happiness and love of family. Success is me able to hear the voice of my grandmother and loved ones. Success in my life is being able to do the little but significant things for myself. Success is being able to see the sunrise, watch the sunset and being able to hear the pitter patter of the rain drops. Success is being able to hear my niece and nephews saying I love you Aunt Doris. Success is coming home to peace and quiet and the smell of my dinner from last night. Success is me coiled up on my sofa with my laptop on my lap and television on my favorite channel. Success is me lying on my bed listening to my favorite songs. Success is me having the strength to praise God, my maker. Success is me being able to inspire you by my ordinary, mundane and rather boring life.

For me it is my truth, it is raw and unedited and it is genuine. It requires no approval and I do not need to paint it to make it look like yours. I don’t need to deceive you into thinking my life is perfect and I succeed in all my endeavors.

I fail sometimes. I cry too and I have bad days ever so often. Just like everyone else.

Whether you choose to interpret my idea of success as ordinary, boring or exciting and crazy that is entirely up to you and I respect it.

You know why?

Because your definition of success does not have to be packaged the same way mine is and that my friend is the beauty of success.

Not all of us were born to conquer the world and make significant difference in a big, loud and massive way. Some of us were put on this earth to make the most significant difference in the most subtle manner.

You can succeed in farming, you can also be a success in politics, you can succeed in construction and you can be a success in teaching. You can be a success in mothering.

Whatever success is to you, embrace it unapologetically and be that!

You have your definition of success. Stick to it and work on it.

No one can tell you what success is to you but you. Unless they know what your capabilities, needs, weaknesses and strength are, then they can’t tell you nothing. Stay away from they and idle chatter and construct your own path towards success.

Define success on your own terms and package it the way you want to. Wrap it up how you’d like to see it and appreciate it for what it is.

It is your journey and it is your life. Ride it like its golden.

Remember a major part of being a success is maintaining your happy.

Till then

Xoxo

She is your Once Upon A Time …

She looked at you like the sun, the moon and adored you like a priced possession. She spoke proudly of you but she can hardly say the same for you.

She saw a man, a teacher, her prince charming, a motivator and her best friend. She was enveloped in you and engulfed in all the madness you came with and nothing else made sense.

But one thing was for sure…she had hope and she was a patient woman. Patiently hoping that one day you’ll change. Hoping one day you’ll be the man that she wants you to be. Hoping one day you will give her the love that she deserves but little did she know that you can’t save a man from himself. 

Sometimes you have to walk.

Sometimes You Have To Walk

She saw what no one ever saw in you. Not that she couldn’t get any man but she chose you day after day, the only difference was you didn’t choose her. She was constantly looking for angels in demons and that was her problem.

All she ever did was love you, loved you faultlessly and tirelessly but you treated her like she was ordinary. She was there for you, she was your greatest fan even when you looked upon her like a groupie.

You gave her sleepless nights in exchange, tears-filled day dreams, you trampled her trust and you rained abuses on her, emotional abuses, constant torture and emotional turmoil. She didn’t deserve none of it, no one does.

Day after day, she gave you her all. Night after night she was there to put a smile on your face….months after months she held on even tighter even when all you threw at her was dirt.

In the pursuit of being the woman for you, she learnt your language, memorized your favourite song and learnt your favourite recipe. She danced to your ugly tunes even when it was hard to find a rhythm.

Your time was all she wanted. She never once asked you for the world...yet you deprived her of everything. In your absence she defended you, People said you were no good but she grew deaf ears. I guess that’s what happens when you love someone right? Yet still she never gave up.

She did stupid things to catch your attention and with every passing day, she tried to make herself better. She tried to be the best she can because you made her feel like she wasn’t good enough.

She betrayed herself so she could be loyal to you, deprived herself so she could be all you wanted her to be even though she didn’t know how to be the woman you wanted. She tried, daily she tried!

Your indecent behaviour was like a sharp-edged tool which took a dig at her self-esteem day after day…one hurt at time. Making her question her self-worth.

You are the kind of man our mothers warned us against.

You pushed her, my god did you push her. How much can a single soul embody?!

How Much Can A Single Soul Embody?

She was a good woman and she deserved way better, and you knew it but the boy in you couldn’t help but to destroy a good thing.

A good thing given to someone who is not ready for it will never serve its purpose. She was too good for you and that was the problem.

You just couldn't recognise a gem when you have one in your possession so you treated it like any invaluable. The boy in you didn’t know that precious stones don’t always come to people like that. The boy in you was immature to handle it all and so you crushed it.

Or maybe

You thought she’ll be around forever and she will never grow wings to fly.

Don’t underestimate the willpower of a tired woman. She was tired and all the women in her was tired.

You exhausted her last fibre of strength.

But one thing you didn't know was that anything being pushed against the wall so much will eventually bounce back and when they do they will cease to be the favourite toy that you loved to toy with so much.

Making you happy was becoming unaffordable to her. She couldn’t afford you any more. You were costing her, her own happiness.  Holding on was doing more harm than good. True strength is not always about how long you can hold on, she learnt that a greater strength is found in letting go.

So she did

She collected her thoughts. Shook off your disrespect and disregard for her. Packed her bags. Adjusted her crown and wiped her tears. She puts one foot in front of the other …and away she went and she never looked back.

Eventually the ''fool'' wakes up.  

She thought enough is enough and she decide to love herself better. She realised she was worth more. She realised that love doesn’t have to hurt. She came up for fresh air and realised she’s been suffocating the whole time. She needed it, more than ever she needed a breath of fresh air.

You still didn’t realised you've lost a good thing because you were just a boy.

But years later, as we all know you always come back.

You started seeing her with someone else. She has a smile you never gave to her. A spring in her steps you’ve never seen in her. She looked beautiful now because you’ve never actually took the time to look at her. She is happy and you’re there wondering where you went wrong.

Her Smile Is Brighter...

She makes someone else really happy now and you started wishing it was you. She wakes up next to someone who knows what he got when he has it. He treats her like she’s golden. And you’re there turning green with jealousy.

And then It hit you…it hit you hard that this whole time, you loved her but you just didn’t know how to.

Why do guys have to wait till they lose something before they realise its worth?

Now you’re begging to come back. Nonstop phone calls. Emails and texts. Trying to distract her from the good. Trying hard to pave your way cunningly with tails between your legs.

It’s a little too late

She is ignoring you. And now it’s easy. It became even easier when flashes of the pain you caused her came to her in waves and she remembered how she almost drowned trying to save a man from himself.

She is in a better place now. A heaven you never created for her.

Moreover she knows better now. She’s being treated with respect and care and being showered with the love she deserves. Her mind have been stretched and she’s not going back. She has no urge to.

You’re there telling people about her. Her love was so great it turned you into a story teller.

Yes, the love of a good woman misplaced will turn you into a story teller. She is now your once upon a time. She is the love you had but let get away and you just can’t shut up about her.

You can’t finish your favourite beer because thoughts of her flood your mind. You just can’t stop talking about her. You can hear her laughter and you remembered how she stood by you even though you never once glanced at her.

All the other women don’t even matter no more, you just want her but she is gone.

You quiver and shake and whisper her name in your sleep like a fervent prayer but she’s gone.

Wallowing In Regrets...

Now you realise you've lost a good thing and you wish you were the one to make her that happy. This is the moment you realised you messed up.

You had your chance remember? She waited on you to do right by her. But you blew every single chance she ever gave you. She was right there with you while you looked at other women. She made you the centre of her world while you held her with a pinch of salt.

Always looking for the next best thing. Here’s the thing about always looking for the next best thing, even if you did find it you’ll still never be satisfied because you’re still searching for the next best thing.

And all she ever asked was for you to see her but you gave her bundles of sorrows, wreathe with endless heart aches.

What’s a girl to do?

How I see it, the only mistake was that she gave you everything she had without making sure you wanted it.

‘’Why is love intensified by absence?’’

The ever sure lesson remain that anything we take for granted gets taken away. And she was no exception.

The worst thing ever to happen to a man is to drag a good woman in the dirt so much that she start looking at you like you’re ordinary when once upon a time she looked at you like you were the sun.

She Used To Look At You Like The Galaxy

‘’The most haunting moment, I believe
is when love turns into a memory.’’

Till next time

Xoxo