Trapped Within Four Walls

The thing about four walls…I mean the thing about being trapped within four walls is that it makes your mind wander. It forces you to think, well for me at least. It slows you down, you see things in waves of perspectives. Maybe because the voices around you are less and the ones in your head becomes active and extremely loud.

Four Walls

Sometimes we are so busy dashing and running towards the finish line that we forget the purpose for which we started running in the first place. We become inattentive to the journey and we run right passed our blessings and we pay no mind to the things that really matters.

Ever so often the price is not as attractive as the beauty of the journey. When we look back we realise we have created memories we never cherished and moments that we’ll never get back. We only tend to appreciate the journey in the end.

We plan and we imagine, we dream and we vision the future, All the while forgetting the little important details along the way.  And above all we forget that our lives are not ours to plan. There is a master up there and he makes everything beautiful in his time. Not your time! Understand this and let that resonate.

I planned and imagined and I forgot there’s a God whose plans are better than mine, whose timing and plans are greater than mine and who’s able to make all things beautiful in his time. Did I actually forgot or was I too busy running a race i know nothing about?

Swimming in this euphoric water balloon. It was bliss. It was where you’ve longed to be, a place that felt like home, where all your fears are put to rest till the thought of the end churns your whole being. It was that place.

Don't Wake Me Up

Maybe I didn’t forget and I wasn’t busy either. Maybe I was just a little scared of the reality. Maybe I wasn’t mentally and emotionally prepared for my truth. Or maybe I knew the truth and it felt like a road I’ve walked before, a book I’ve read before and a very familiar story but the thought of it frightened me. I was terrified.

I knew!

Trapped within four walls...

Whilst everyone was popping bottles and cheering the New Year on I was in hospital fighting for my dear life. It happened so much that this was one of the severest attack I’ve had in a long time, medications that used to work, ceased to work on my body. My body was working against everything it was used to.

Was this a sign?

All through my years of fighting with this illness I have never been hospitalised over the New Year or even Christmas…so this was a first for me. God has his ways of pulling the stubborn ears of His children and i think i was just experiencing mine.

As I lay there I thought, they say everything happens for a reason….that thought kept me going and I knew I was going to pull through. I knew i was going to pull through because what was left to hang on to was just God and hope.

Respect The Journey...

I made plans for my new year’s already, I had things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see but God was laughing at me I’m sure and like a stubborn child he drew my ears and kept me in one place, trapped within four walls.

I needed that.

I am thankful that God hasn’t let me go, because I’ve let Him go, lots of times. He rescues me time and time and again.

The thing about these four walls…

I lay there in the hospital, nurses and doctors coming in and out and I toiling in pain and anguish. You have no idea!

What is the point of running and rushing if you’re going nowhere fast?

Take time to smell the flowers!

Every Once In a While, Slow Down.
You're Not That Busy!

We get so caught up in this race that we don’t even realise we are actually in a race. We do not give ourselves time to think and evaluate our lives. We allow life to take control of our lives. That is not living.

Well that’s what four walls are for…or we can call it recess. A time to evaluate and re-evaluate your life. Our lives must be handled with care and protection. Our lives must be full of purpose. Our lives be handled with love. Treat yourself in such a way that whoever comes into your life will not have a choice but to treat you even better. Remember you teach the world how to treat you.

Be Your Own Hero...

Let’s take a car for example, if you’re busy running this car in all directions without a regular check-up or any form of servicing, eventually it is going to stop serving its purpose and break down. Maybe out of lack of attention or maybe out of lack of care, other times its just mere exhaustion and abuse because things get tired too.

You have all these what ifs in your head and all these unanswered questions. We are seeing all the red flags and warning signs but we’re too busy running to the finish line. Even when you need to stop and service which could mean anything from consulting God to just simply resting and look how far we’ve come. Most times when you race like that, you get to the finish line and then you notice that you have been racing for no reason at all. By then it’s a tad too late.

Wasting time is a dangerous game. And time is a luxury not available to all.

Another thing that came to mind is that in every situation we find ourselves we must be able to give thanks to God. Just because we are in pain doesn’t mean we should be mean or rude. From my closed curtains in the hospital, I could hear the pain and anguish from the lady who was next to me. I had it bad but hers was no way compared to mine…..she had it worst. The easiest way to be grateful is to think that it could have been worse.

On that sick bed was where I evaluated my life. On that sick bed was where I made my New Year resolutions (yes I made couple and I am not going to tell you). On that sick bed was where I grew a new found appreciation for the simple fact that I know God. On that sick bed I handed my life back to God, where it belonged in the first place. On that sick bed I just wanted to know God more. On that sick bed I found a solace in God.

On that hospital bed was where I learnt few more valuable life lessons…

• You have to be your own hero (This wasn’t a quote for me anymore, this was my truth)
• You are stronger than you think, waaayyy stronger
• Miracles happen and there is a shift when you decide to FULLY trust God.
• Sometimes the hardest decisions we NEED to make are the ones that will hurt us the most
• As hard as it can be sometimes, try to be a good person
• People don’t owe you anything, always be grateful
• Just because you’re a good person does not mean that the world would be good to you.
• Self-discipline… Exercise and practice it
• God doesn’t give you a load you cannot carry
• It rains the hardest on those who deserves the sun
• It is okay to cry
• Always be stronger than what you suffer…whatever that is
• There is something about HOPE. Never lose sight of it.
• Don’t treat people the way they treat you, treat them better

Let That Bee Your Thing

This is the life, this is it. Some days are grey, some days are dark…some days darker than others. On better days the sun will shine for you and you will wonder if all that brightness is for you. Well that’s how life is.

Take one day at a time, the good, the bad and the ugly. Do not rush through life. Rely on God fully because with all your letters before and after your name, you still don't know it all. And never, never ever lose hope!

This is my own truth. What’s yours?

Till then

Xoxo

Life Happens

Sometimes life happens and you just can’t lay a finger on what really happened.

Sometimes we think we know everything. We think we have this thing called life all figured out and in the twinkle of an eye the magic carpet is drawn from underneath us and we lose our balance. The plot thickens and the map becomes eligible. Where do we go from here?!

You’re young, free and wild and you live everyday like it’s the summer holiday. Not a care in the world and by the time you know it, Life hits you. It hits like a b*tch right on the place where it hurts. One minute everything was going as planned, and the next it’s like you’re going through a turbulent roller-coaster. What actually changed?

That Almost Perfect life... *SIGH*

You thought of this life, this life that is full of hopes, dreams and all good things that ever existed. You dreamt of the ideal job and perfect husband. The big house by the seaside and 5 kids running around in the back garden, dog and cat playing in harmony and you dreamt and dreamt. You dreamt of a life of abundance, bliss and lavish and a life of no worries.

 HOPES & DREAMS & ASPIRATION, hold on to that...

But you wake up one morning and things are never the same. You start to fight to recognize who you are. You struggle to find the next step. You lost sight of everything that once seemed so clear. Dreams start to look like nightmare and the life you have dreamt of for so long seems like a mere fairy tale from your favorite childhood movie. Life appears to be stagnant! 

Did you just stopped Dreaming?! How dare you!

However, you continue to dream, continue to wish and never once in your life stop to be the dreamer. No matter what anyone says. No matter how long it takes.Dream as much as you can but back those dreams with action.

In the midst of that stagnant situation, life happens. Life happens and we find ourselves. Yes the life you've dreamt of, the ideal life you imagined and the life everyone called a mere fairy tale happened all of a sudden. Sometimes we just need to be still to regain the lost plot. We need to be still to be able to listen we need to be still to hear the still small voice.

Right in the middle of all the shattered dreams, fading hopes and vanishing aspirations, we learn life’s valuable lessons. We learn the essence of patience, persistence, hard work, hope, trust and the art of believing and finding happiness in every situation life presents.

Above all we learn to trust God more and lean not on our own understanding. We learn to trust God’s timing, we learn and we learn and we learn. We start to look at life through a different lens. We gain a clearer vision and become a better person with a new meaning for life. You become a dreamer with a vision.

PROVERBS 3: 5-6

People tell me I am looking for a fairy tale kind of love, a fairy tale life but what they don’t understand is I am a dreamer in search of a dreamer and one day I am going to wake up next to my dreamer. Only a dreamer knows the heart of a dreamer. They say I wish for fairy tale but I only wish for what my heart desires, and so should you.

I believe in magic. I believe in miracles. I believe because there are immeasurable reasons for us to believe when I venture to open my eyes and look around. Think about the trees that flourish with no one to care for them and the sun shining every day but rarely appreciated. Imagine the rainbow and the clouds, even the wind and the stars. Tell me why I shouldn't believe in magic, miracles and my dreams.

Till you get what is it you're finding, don't settle...

What if you didn't get the life you dreamt of? What if things haven’t gone the way you dreamt it? So what?! Life goes on. Life continues to roll beautifully just make sure you set time apart to see the beauty in every passing second – as hard as this might be.

Have the COURAGE to continue dreaming...

Don’t dim the light. Never stop dreaming. Continue to fuel your dream. Never lose hope. Once there is life, there is this thing called hope. You’re going to wake up one day living that dream you have dreamt like forever. You’re going to be experiencing the life that the non-dreamers said was just a fairy tale.

Never Lose Sight Of HOPE...

This is the big wide world. Shake off those ridiculous rules you set for yourself and take your happiness seriously. Walk away from anything that refuses to plaster a smile on your soul. Your happiness is serious business.

Believe. STAND IN A POSITION OF STRENGTH and not of insecurity and fear. Stand strong and firm and remember that even miracles and dreams take a little time. 

........and baby you just have to be patient.

There is always something to smile about if only we take the time to look around.

With that i will leave you with my favorite Scott Fitzgerald quote.

Believe. Dream. Hope. Aspire.

Till then

xoxo