Defining success….on your own terms

Create Your Own Wave

Relax

You’re doing fine. You’re doing great and you’re going to be alright.

Its baby steps till you get to where you’re meant to be. It’s one day at a time till you achieve that which you set out to achieve.

The definition of success have been shoved and pushed down our throats to the point that we think success has a universal face. No it doesn’t.

We’ve sized up success to be this one size fits all garment. Wear. Just wear, it will suit you. Perfectly. Take the universal umbrella and run with it!

Save your strength and stop!

Are you going to allow society to define success for you?

Are you going to be blinded by society’s standards of success?

Are you going to be burdened and amputated by the expectations of society?

Are you going to be lowered, reduced and dragged around by the success you see and read about daily?

Depressed and worried that you’re not doing enough. Sick and tired of the pace at which you’re progressing. Beating yourself up daily because you fail to measure up to the universal gauge of success.

So we live in fear and depression of not measuring up to what society deems as success.

It could all be so easy but we as humans are always looking for a map, some sort of guidelines, life manual or a list. Stop killing yourself slowly. Were you born with instructions?

Free your potential.

You must first understand and identify what is success to you. If you don’t know then you’ll be easily pushed around by the expectations of everyone else.

Walk in your own lane. Pave your own path at your own pace. Be prayerful and commit every move into God’s hands. Be proud of your littlest accomplishments. Celebrate every little achievement. Recognise your strength. Work on your shortcomings. Do not champion your weaknesses. Acknowledge your efforts and when you fail do not stop. Take a rest and try again.

Never push yourself to exhaustion. Amidst all your hard work, make sure you protect your happy.

Mama has spoken...Major Key!

If you gain the world and it can’t even put a smile on your face then you my friend is not succeeding.

If by any chance the only mountain you were able to move was you getting out of bed, so be it. Some days everything will go wrong, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Understand that you cannot give more than what is in you so always protect your well-being. And at the end after you’ve given your 100 and that extra 10%, sleep with satisfaction for you have done your best and remember your best is always good enough.

You fail at a task so what? Pick yourself up and try again. Most successes today were built on roadblocks of failures. Today they have a story, a story that inspires.

I encourage you to build yours….even if it’s one that everyone laughs at today at least it’s your story.

Don’t be distracted by the next man’s success. Don’t be jealous. You do not know how much they’ve prayed. My friend once tweeted that prayer is free…and indeed it is. So stay prayed up.

Avoid comparison for it is the greatest thief of time. Avoid looking back. Understand that you are in a competition with no one but the person you were yesterday.

Don’t allow anyone to scare you. Don’t allow fear to inhibit your potential. You have everything you need to succeed in you. Remember the grace of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you.

Focus!

How Many People Have You Helped?

There is no universal definition for success and success does not have a face, tone or shape. Success does not come in this glamorous package either. Success is not one size fits all.

Success is more an internal affair than external. You find it within first.

Personally money and wealth makes a fine pillow and offers a comfortable ride in this thing called life but they don’t count as success for me.

I know a lot of wealthy people who are not successful at life. Funny right? Well its possible and its sad so don’t let that be you.

Do you want to know what success is to me?

Here we go…

Success in my life is good health, happiness and love of family. Success is me able to hear the voice of my grandmother and loved ones. Success in my life is being able to do the little but significant things for myself. Success is being able to see the sunrise, watch the sunset and being able to hear the pitter patter of the rain drops. Success is being able to hear my niece and nephews saying I love you Aunt Doris. Success is coming home to peace and quiet and the smell of my dinner from last night. Success is me coiled up on my sofa with my laptop on my lap and television on my favorite channel. Success is me lying on my bed listening to my favorite songs. Success is me having the strength to praise God, my maker. Success is me being able to inspire you by my ordinary, mundane and rather boring life.

For me it is my truth, it is raw and unedited and it is genuine. It requires no approval and I do not need to paint it to make it look like yours. I don’t need to deceive you into thinking my life is perfect and I succeed in all my endeavors.

I fail sometimes. I cry too and I have bad days ever so often. Just like everyone else.

Whether you choose to interpret my idea of success as ordinary, boring or exciting and crazy that is entirely up to you and I respect it.

You know why?

Because your definition of success does not have to be packaged the same way mine is and that my friend is the beauty of success.

Not all of us were born to conquer the world and make significant difference in a big, loud and massive way. Some of us were put on this earth to make the most significant difference in the most subtle manner.

You can succeed in farming, you can also be a success in politics, you can succeed in construction and you can be a success in teaching. You can be a success in mothering.

Whatever success is to you, embrace it unapologetically and be that!

You have your definition of success. Stick to it and work on it.

No one can tell you what success is to you but you. Unless they know what your capabilities, needs, weaknesses and strength are, then they can’t tell you nothing. Stay away from they and idle chatter and construct your own path towards success.

Define success on your own terms and package it the way you want to. Wrap it up how you’d like to see it and appreciate it for what it is.

It is your journey and it is your life. Ride it like its golden.

Remember a major part of being a success is maintaining your happy.

Till then

Xoxo

30 Things

So I hit age 30 few months ago. Errmmm…I never experredit!! Where did time flew to? It was just yesterday I was celebrating my 21^st birthday and now I’m slowly creeping towards pensioner's realm.

Dirty 30

I struggled to accept it in the beginning, so much that few days leading to the birthday I tried to keep the birthday and the age on the down low but my cousins were not having it so by the time it was 6am on the 5^th of July, the world knew I was 30. Great!

The World Knew I was 30!

Will I take back my years of the good, the bad and the ugly?

Naahh… I have been through too much but likewise I have learned too much to erase those memories. It has not been smooth sailing but still I wake up every day thankful to God because it could be worse.

Too much light have come out of my darkness, so with that I say roll on the next 30 years of my life. I’m not fully equipped but I’m ready! But then again, who’s ever fully equipped for life?

I have lived and I have learned. I’ve had first-hand experiences which no one taught me in school but life did. I have cried, and laughed and sometimes wished it will all go away, I have given up hope, I have prayed and I have found my strength again in GOD when I thought I had nothing left.

Aye I could go on and on but I would like to summarise my experiences in 30 Things.
 (It's way more than that but I wouldn’t like to bore you all)

So here goes...



1.     Family over everything. You bend, you bend and you bend but guess what, the ties never break.

My A team

2.     People are not against you, at least not everyone is. People are for themselves. The sooner you understand this, the better. The world owes you nothing!


3.      If you do not have God, then what do you have? I’ll tell you….nothing. 


4.      Whoever carved the phrase ‘’No New Friends’’ didn’t know the first thing about friendship and sure didn’t know what they were talking about.

No New Friends? GTFOH

5.     Treat people better than they treat you, always. And be nice. Whoever says it pays to be nice, knew exactly what they were talking about. I get away with murder by being nice. Life is hard already, stop throwing stones at people.

6.   It is possible to do all the right things and still fail. Don’t live your life looking for answers, that is quite unfulfilling but rather live within the questions.

7.      Someone’s idea of you is never your reality. It’s just that, their idea and opinion. Never allow it to get to you.


8.      You can’t control everything that happens to you in this unpredictable life but what you’re in charge of is how you react to every situation that occurs in your life. My younger brother once said to me that the only person I can control is myself. So when bad things happen that I can’t change, all I have to do is choose to change my attitude towards it. This is the way I see obstacles now and it is a damn good perspective.

Your Attitude has a Lot To Do With Everything
Fight till My Last Strength Is Exhausted!

9.      Before holding grudge, talk to the person first, sometimes they have no idea what you’re going through or that they've hurt you.

10.     You can’t save a man from himself. Now let that resonate.

11.      If making you happy is costing me my happiness then I can’t afford you.

12.       Life is not black and white –there are grey areas. Just because it haven’t happened for you yet, it doesn't mean you’re failing. It’s just not time.

13.       God do not let me forget that I need you in my best days as I did on my worse days.

14.      It is okay to cry, doesn't matter if you’re a man or woman. Never suppress an overwhelming feeling. You’re human, don’t you ever forget that.




15.     Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is a series of ebb and flow. Most things are not as bad as we make them to be.

16.      This too shall pass. This mantra gives me hope in the darkest of time. It gives me a flashback of the many times that I have been able to pull through in life.

My Harshest Critic And Greatest Supporter
 My Mother!

17.     Be present in every moment, I cannot stress this enough. Stop looking for the big things, relish every tiny little happiness in your life. Some people exist only for the big finale but the secret is to look for the good in every situation.

18.    They will love you. They will adore you. And they can still hurt you.

19.     Love yourself, adore and cherish yourself like you would a loved one. Heck, be conceited. Be kind to you. Treat yourself, date yourself and be careful how you speak to yourself, YOU are listening

Be Conceited And Take Shameless Selfies

20.   Jeremiah 29:11 - My ultimate bible verse. I call it hope.  If I ever have another tattoo, this would be it.

21.     Writing is good but what is even better is talking. Make sure you have that one non-judgemental person with a listening ear in your life. Most times, a good catharsis is what we need.

22.     I used to wait on happiness. Then I realised that happiness doesn’t always come in grand style. Now a cup of coffee makes me happy, the company of my family, the smile on my grandmother’s face, my God-children leaving voice notes on WhatsApp make me really happy. The small things are the moments that matter. Don’t let them pass you by without noticing.

Their VoiceNotes On Whatsaap
Always Put A Smile On My Face

23.     Being attractive has a lot less to do with how you look. But a whole lot more to do with how you treat people and handle certain situation. How you react to events and happenings in your life and how you make people feel about themselves.


24.     You never know how fucked up someone is until you try to love them.

25.        Love is a decision. Love is more than a feeling. Love is a decision you make every passing day.

26.      Life is full of unplanned events and sometimes life slaps you across the face. You will have bad days and you will have days that nothing seems to be going right. Life will turn you upside now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Hold tight. God gives his hardest battle to his toughest soldiers. Learn from it. You will be okay, eventually. Trust me on this one.

27.       Take heed to criticism. Sometimes the things that upsets us the most are things we need to change in ourselves. Criticism can be a great inner mirror. Not everyone is out to get you, sometimes people are telling you the truth. Listen.

Have Confidence But Stay Humble

28.      Have confidence in yourself but stay humble. Confidence without fear of what people may think of you. A confidence that doesn’t waver even when people don’t approve of you.

29.     Strive to be a better person. You are not always right. You are not the standard, judge less. Listen to your intuition and every now and again, stop and do some inner soul cleaning.

30.       You are magic.



With that i have to say, live with no regrets, it's a waste of time. Learn from mistakes made and remember to live life fully....regardless of all the many curve balls life throws at us.

Live Life To The Fullest

Till next time



Xoxo

30+ Things I Learnt In 2013

I made an endeavor to learn from every single happenings in my life in 2013. 

Why?  Well no point going through the same hole and getting wet or stuck over and over again. That is insanity!

We live and we learn, so here goes…

We Live To Learn...

1.       Strengthen your love in private so you’ll stand tall and strong in public

2.       Your kind of love is not for everyone

3.       A Bad decision doesn't make you a bad person

4.       God has a way of surprising his people when we least expect it

5.       It is OK to cry, it is OK not to be OK

6.       I am my own best friend

7.      I am something special. I am not a drop in the ocean, I am The Ocean.  You don’t have to believe it but I am telling you because I know!

8.       My mother is my greatest critic but ultimately my biggest fan and the purest form of love

9.       Timing is everything – You’ll never get it right with someone who is not ready!

10.   If it doesn't make you happy, then it is never worth it

11.   Never allow yourself to be bullied into silence, speak up with wisdom and let your voice be heard

12.   Love only beams love towards you

13.   Trust your gut instincts

14.   Never be afraid to say no or yes

15.   Abandon your comfort zone and Make life an adventure.

16.   I am allowed and supposed to make mistake simply because that’s life

17.   Friendship is not about the people you've known the longest or the people who are always near

18.   Embrace your failures as much as you celebrate your triumph, that’s just life!

19.   Time and distance has nothing on true friendship

20.   Let go off people who do not wish to stay in your life, some people are only in your life for a season, a reason and a lesson

21.   Forget what people think, you’re imprisoning your happiness

22.  Sometimes no matter how hard you try, there are some people who will remain in your life for lifetime…if not in presence then in memories.

23.   Life often gives signals before the storm, watch out for them, do not ignore the signs, set emotions aside and interpret them right

24.   Happiness is everything. Everything else is overrated.

25.   Do not let your emotions outweigh your intelligence. 

26.   Control your emotions or they will control you. (Especially if you’re an emotional wreck like myself)

27.   There is no Mr Perfect. Just find that one person whose flaws are right for you!

28.   Everything you do in this world has an effect on someone else. Tread carefully

Don't Try To Understand It...Live It To The Fullest

29.   Pride kills faster than poison. Abort pride!

30.   Learn to love your inner monster…. (Oh yea, we all have one. You've got one too!)

31.   If you wish to be bad, best believe you’ll always find an audience. Likewise if you decide to play good you will always find an audience. Do what’s best for you.

32.   Do not stop to throw stones at every barking dog, you’ll end up nowhere

33.   The number of people in your corner does not equate your success.

34.   Always look for ways to improve your life, always. Read books and keep an open mind

35.    You think you've got it bad sometimes until you hear someone else’s story - ‘’If we all threw our problems into a pile and saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back as fast as we could.’’

Last but not the least, Fairy Washing Up Liquid is simply the best there is ~ I never knew this till i got living on my own. :)

I must end with my fav quote of the year..

‘’Life is a beautiful struggle’’

In life sometimes we get thrown the good, the bad and the ugly. Does that mean you stop fighting? NO. Does that mean you stop living life to the fullest? NO!

Embrace life. Entertain no regrets. Abhor no grudges. No one said it was going to be easy. No one said it was going to be one jolly ride but one thing I have experienced is Life is what you make of it.

....It's All In Your Hands

2014 is here…. what are you going to make of it?

Have you learnt anything at all last year? Let’s hear about it.

Till then…

Xoxo