Thursday, 30 July 2015

Dating My Generation

I would like you to have a cup of patience and a plate of sighs to go with your anti-pissed off tablet today. 

Why you might wonder, because what I’m about to say will probably hit a nerve, so get prepared.

My mother is always on my case telling me how picky I am and my dad is always asking after my bloke, as he calls it. What they don’t get is how disturbed our generation is when it comes to dating.

Maybe it’s just me or maybe I am just stuck in an unknown era but dating my generation is a conquest on its own.

I mean, life is hard already. Dating shouldn’t be a pain.

We Have Forgotten The Simple Things

First of all, we all think we’re the best thing since sliced bread. And don’t get me wrong I am all for self-love and knowing thy worth.

But my oh my… my generation takes the boat out to sea!

When someone shows interest in us we start rolling out the calendar. We start acting like a fool, stringing them along to see how long the person will keep pursuing our interest and consequently be the fool for us.

Well here’s the thing about playing hard to get, you need to know when to stop, but my generation ….ahhh we have no stop sign.

In dating my generation get ready for the competition of a lifetime. Everything is a competition and I mean EVERYTHANG.

Who’s going text or call first? Who’s going to make the first move and how many hours apart must the texts be. Everything is so carefully calculated.

If you take 5 minutes to reply to my messages best believe we’ll times that by 5 before we send a response.

Our greatest struggle is the fight in our heads.

“Should I text them first? Or should I wait for them to text me?” “How long should I wait to text them back?” “He took an hour to answer my text, how long should I wait now?”

The struggle is real.

To Text Or Not To Text

Oh let me use all the fibre in my being to ignore this message even though I want to respond so bad, I don’t want to look desperate, so let me wait till 6 hours later because they took 5 hours to get back to me after my last text.

Yea I don’t have a life…my existence is for you and you alone.

It could all be so simple but we’ve managed to riddle the dating scene with manipulative mind games and succeeded in making it complicated.

Well done!

In my generation, we have the Instagram-o-meter and the Facebook-o-meter by which love is measured.

No matter how much you love me if you do not validate us by posting a pic of us on all the social networks then I’m sorry, we’re not a couple.

No show of my picture on your Instagram and Facebook? Then we are not in love, sorry love.

It's Not Valid Till It's Online

What will people think? Oh no, people are going to think we are not a couple. Or maybe there is someone else.

What about the fact that I may not want all that attention into what we share?!

No matter how authentic what we have going on is, we are not official until you Facebook, Twitter and Instagram it. In my generation the only validation you need is the likes!

Yaay...let do it for the likes!

The ultimate validation lies in the approval of strangers in the form of 40 comments and 100 likes.

Oh the crazy mental sad horror!

Do Not Believe The Hype On Social Media

And you better remember to change that relationship status on Facebook because the relationship will end even before it started.

We are a very exhausting generation.

Dates have become auditions and job interviews. We go to a date and act like the other is doing us a huge favour. My friend, am not here to get a mortgage or get a job. Let’s get it together.

A Date Or An Audition?

Ok that’s not all, we won’t ask you out like a normal human being, we will resort to that Neanderthal lifestyle and chirp like birds and wolf whistle the life out of you in the streets. Blow car horns and scare the hell out of you, they will hunt you down with plethora of slangs and derogatory names and you have to look away and ignore like nothing happened.

That Neanderthal Lifestyle

We seem to have foul-mouthed and rudeness on a lock down!

You’re not allowed to say no to an interested party. They will cuss the daylight out of you. Yes we are a manner less generation with potty mouth and filthy antics.

Trust is a myth and so is loyalty and commitment. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We will replace you so fast, you’ll doubt your existence. We will tell you there are many fishes in the sea and we will sing BeyoncĂ©’s irreplaceable for you because we are always irreplaceable but you are not.

We will update our Facebook status so fast and with the speed of light we'll upload an apt quote on Instagram for you. Yep we know how to air our dirty lining in the public!

Don’t play with us. We do this!

My generation is the most confuxed generation. You know that unique state of being both confused and fucked up at the same time …yea that.

We are promiscuous, disrespectful, foul-mouthed and self-centred – backed with a lot of ego to feed a village.

The Disrespect And Disregard Is Real

We are an emoji- obsessed generation. Deciphering every Emoji used in a text message will leave you utterly misplaced and confused, yea we have abandoned the simple ways.

Why do we insist on making life so hard?! 

It doesn’t end there, we will bombard you with WYD, HRU, and GM wrapped in excessive LOLs and lmaoo. You will think it’s a typo but no, please understand that this is us trying to show emotions. This is my generation telling you they care about you.

How A Simple Message Can Be Lost

A phone call would have been so much easier but unfortunately we've made phone calls a dying art.

My generation. We are just a special breed.

Our most creative idea of a date is on the couch with the most recent upload on Netflix with a bottle of Blossom Hill. If you’re lucky we’ll throw in popcorn as starters and ice cream as dessert. Yep, sorted.

CheapSkates OR Nah?!

Are we just cheapskates or we’re just a lazy-can’t-be-bothered-generation?

To ease the responsibility of dating, we have managed to coin so many uncanny terms for our Significant other. The friend zone – when we feel like you’re nothing but a mate, we have the cuffing season where we claim it’s too cold to be alone so we cop ourselves another human to shield the winter. Friends with benefits, this is where we believe you’re nothing but a generous friend who offers benefits like casual sex and casual hanging out – no emotions attached.

How convenient!

Friends With Benefits - Effortless Dating

We are an emotionless generation. We even break up through a text and we don’t care about your tears or broken heart or quivering voice or the tubs of ice-creams you may have squandered.

Yea…welcome to my robotic generation.

Another thing is choices. Our choices are killing us. We have no time to put in the effort in anything, even if it’s worth doing. Why would I spend time trying to make something work when I can get another in a matter of minutes?

How luxurious!

Effortless Generation...Why Bother?!

We do everything but date. We chill. We kick it. We hangout. We hook up. We specialises in one nighters. But if it requires effort, count us out. We are not about that life.

A label free generation, that’s what we are.


We accept so little and settling for mediocrity is the order of my generation.

Romance is measured in a trivia thing as a good morning text and changing my government name to bae. 

When did we learn to satisfy and be comfortable with so little?!

We Need Education...Please Help!

No good morning text. Oh no they’ve found someone else. Someone’s taken my place. He doesn’t love me anymore, she’s cheating on me.

That’s not love, that is attachment!

A generation of extreme paranoia! That’s what we are.

With my generation, all the chance you get is one night. One night to show who you are. One night to give it all up. One night to show you have masters in being a super girlfriend and a degree in being the doting boyfriend. Bring your A game Or else you’re a write-off.  No second chances.

Result of endless choices.

We are a smash-and-pass generation. We have carefully changed the dating game to a game of smash and pass.

Social networks like Tinder, Facebook and Instagram has just managed to legalise hook-ups. I see your picture and the next hour we’re meeting up for a drink or more.

Easy peasy…

My mother’s generation would slowly and carefully take time to create something meaningful and solid but my generation, we microwave everything. From our food right down to our relationships. We are a readymade-obsessed generation.

Our Parents Mend & Fix.

We Trash & Burn

Yea as if it’s not bad enough, Tinder, and the likes just made the game more heated.

And we love it!

When things go sour, our father’s generation would try to sweeten it again. When the stitches are getting lose on the relationship, they will mend it together.

We do not have time for that. Ride what wave? Die for what? Mend what relationship? If it ends, so be it…On to the next. And we will tell you that we replace, we do not chase.

Are you convinced that we are special yet?

Imperfections are not tolerated. You have no room to have a crooked eyebrow or a bit of love handle, nor are you allowed to be human or living with your parents. You must be perfect and on fleek at all times.

We woke up like this.

We make a conscious effort to play it cool and pretend we have no blood running through our veins. We go out of our way to work against all what comes natural to us. Like loving, caring and giving a damn about someone.

We are ridiculously foolish.

How i see it, we are nothing but a scared and scarred generation. Scared of the unknown and scarred by past experiences. So we've built walls and cemented it with a careless and ruthless approach to love and relationship.

In Protecting Our Hearts, We Hurt Others


Love is still love. From the days of our parents’ parents to this very moment, the definition of love haven’t changed but however the generation’s changed. And as time changes, love that is so pure and true have been tainted with ego, pride, laziness and promiscuity.

The power to love have been overcome by the need to be cool and be seemingly uninterested.

We are scared to be vulnerable, scared to show emotions and be open, afraid to be human therefore we succumbed to the robotic lifestyle.

Yep can’t touch this!

We are cowards. Cowards who do not have the guts and what it takes to risk loving another wholeheartedly, without doubts and judgement, without fear and pride.

Today I challenge you.

To lay it all on the table and tell that person how you feel, unleash the emotions that you have been holding in for so long. Forget what you learnt. Stop fighting it. Forget what the world have taught you and just love someone. Love someone with every fibre of your being then and only then you’ll know what love really is. 

Whatever we give into the world, we get back….in thousand folds.

so give love…

If you find an old soul that loves like its 1999….hold on to them.

Let's Bring It Back

Let’s bring it back, let’s bring loving back like its 1999…

Till then


Monday, 20 July 2015

The Dare

I Dare You

He says...

I dare you to tell me how you really feel. Do not just let me assume things. I understand the fear but I know you better than you think. You are waiting for something. What? Are you afraid to be the first to say it?

If you love me, why don’t you just say it? Do you think I’ll go running for the hills? Are you not convinced that I love you?

I dare you to share your pains and fears with me. Let me into your darkest place and let me hold the torch for you. I challenge you to let me carry more than just your bag when your hands are full or your shoes after a long night out.

I dare you to let me take care of you, let me love you even when you don’t feel like being loved. Do not lock me out in hopes of protecting me when you are at your weakest. Let me be your strength. Teach me how to soldier on with you.

I Dare You To Let Me Take Care Of You...

When they tell you about me, I dare you to defend me and tell them you chose me. You chose me knowing I was not perfect. When my past comes knocking, I dare you to hold my hand as we face it together. I dare you to not judge me.

Even when I say or do things to annoy you, I dare you to sit me down and tell me exactly what you think of my actions. However, I dare you to never give up on me. When I feel like I have lost the butterflies, I dare you to stay and remind me of the first time you touched my heart. When others attack you because of me, do not run. Let me prove my love to you.

When I make a fool of myself, I challenge you to laugh and remind me not to take things serious. I dare you to be my home. Let me tell you about the secrets I kept all these years. Be my safe place. When I cannot discuss work, I dare you to take my mind off it. Encourage me to share my hopes and dreams with you even when they may seem ridiculous.

When i Make a Fool Of Myself,
i Challenge You To Laugh With Me...

If you ever feel like I no longer make you happy, I dare you to stay and fight for us. Tell me you love me as often as you feel it not just when you think I need to hear it. When you are upset with me, talk to me. Do not shut me out. Tell me how you always feel without reservations.

When I am studying for my speech in the morning, I dare you to lay your head on my lap and critique my every word. If I have to stay late at work, never accept it. Remind me of where my priorities should be.  When you feel like you’ve got no more fight left in you, let me fight for you.

Do not go gently into that good night, scream, kick, and push as hard as you can. I will always be there to grab your hand. I cannot promise you the stars or the world…but I will love you. I will love you with every fibre of my being.

When we are being tested, let me be selfish with my love. Let me refuse to take no for an answer. Let me beg God each hour for you. Do not hide you tears. Let me cry with you. I dare you to hold on with every ounce of your might. Most importantly, remind me to always laugh with you.

Let Me Beg God Each Hour For You...

Endure my silly jokes with a smile. Laugh with me when I try to put on a serious face around people we find funny. Surprise me anyway even though you know I hate surprises. When I sing in the shower, join me and lets sing our duet. When I am a mess because I’m sick, call me a big baby and treat me like one.

I ask you to show me you trust in what we have. It may not have been what either of us expected but it is pure and true.  So whenever I am angry with you, I want you to remember that I love you. Do not apologise because you want to make me happy when I am wrong. Tell me you love me and stand your ground. I will fuss but I will admit my wrong.

If you think another might have won my heart, I dare you to challenge me to prove you wrong. I promise you that I’ll never betray your love because its value is immeasurable. You are not always going to love me but love me anyway.

You Are Not Always Going To Love Me
 But Love Me Anyway...

Promise me you will never keep your feelings from me. When the world gives up on me, I challenge you to not give up on me. Share your dreams with me and let me share mine with you.

I dare you to explore the world with me. Get lost with me. When I am down, pick me up and remind me of the man I am. I dare you to not hide behind your independence. When I cry, know that I do so without fear of judgement because I do so in the presence of my love.

I promise to tell you everything about me. I promise to always be there for you. I promise to always love you. While I might fail you at times, I dare you to never give up on me. The next time we speak, I dare you to tell me exactly how you feel.

I love you.


Writer: Mr Ganda
You can check more of his work by clicking the link below.

Official Site Of The Writer - Mr Ganda

Till Next Time