Love is Bigger Than Valentine's Day

21 ways to spend Valentine’s Day this year

After the joys and excitement of the New Year is the month of February. The ever so over commercialized day lies in there, the day where the married ones are overly expectant and the ones in relationship and waiting are even more excited than those who are legally-bonded. And then there is the single ones…wallowing in self-pity and thinking they’re not worthy of love.

…thanks to our generation, the pressures of this age is killing us slowly, destroying self-esteems and even something so pure and true as love.

Love...

It’s almost too chaotic and exhausting. Love is a beautiful thing and must be celebrated with no external pressures. If Valentine’s Day stresses you out in your relationship then you need to re-evaluate your love life.

Be so deeply rooted that Valentine’s Day can’t even unravel you.

The day is about love no doubt but there are different types of love. Because there are different types of love it means the day can be celebrated by everyone and in different ways.

Here’s my list of ways you can feel loved, and spread love and make the day count.

Just for the record, it is not obligatory to celebrate Valentine’s Day, don’t get lost in the sauce. You’re still dope, still special, still capable of loving and giving love in return.

Here goes…

1. Spend the day with people who have lost their loved ones. People who have suffered a great lost in recent months – give them hope that there is still enough love to go around.

 2. Be a morning person and catch the sunrise… be grateful for all the new opportunities you’re presented with and make sure to catch the sunset more importantly which is the promise of hope.

Catch The Sunset

3.   Go on a shopping spree, visit your favourite coffee shop or spot, eat your favourite food and spend an alone time with yourself. You’ll learn a thing or two about yourself.

4.   Spend the day with the homeless and less privileged. This will humble you and make you put things into perspective. You’ll then learn that there are more important things than the pressures of being single.

5.   Visit your grandparents. They are old and have limited time left so why not visit with their favourite drink and come bearing some pleasant tales of the past. All they need now is your time and love.

6.   Go to the cinema. Yes alone. Watch your favourite film and make sure to buy the largest popcorn and largest drink. Add a hot dog to that with extra mustard and don’t forget to get a good seat. Self-love.

7.   Do what you actually love, all the things you always wanted to do but never have time for. Sew that loose hem on your skirt. Cook your favourite meal. Write that poem and type up that article.

8.  Wake up early, dress immaculately and participate in 10 random acts of kindness. Make someone smile. Pay someone a compliment. Pay for someone’s coffee. Smile to strangers. Some need it more than you think.

9.  Stay home. Have a well-deserved lie in. Play your favourite songs at ignorant level. Binge on that TV series you recorded but never had the time for. Dance around in your pyjamas while you sip your favourite drink.

10.  Be a tourist in your country. Go to places you’ve never been before. Take photos of the memorable moments and enjoy the experience of experiencing something new.

Be A Tourist in your own City

 11.  Attend midweek service. Go to your local church and just thank God for your life and reflect on all the little mercies you’ve ignored while you were busy finding Mrs Right and Mr Valentine.

12. Go on a spa day and enjoy a good massage. Have a manicure and a pedicure. Sometimes life happens and you are left with little or no time for some self-loving. Don’t neglect your being. You live there after all.

Self Love is The Greatest Middle Finger of all Time!

13. Pick up that novel you’ve always wanted to read. You’ll be amazed at how     many pages you can get through when you are really enjoying a good read. These little things are good for the soul.

14. Go bowling. Go ice skating. Go swimming or hiking. Go to the zoo or the water park or amusement pack. Quad biking, horse-riding and go-karting. In short, go on an adventure and surprise yourself.

15.   Wake up in the morning and have a full blast of worship. Oh I love worshiping. Put your favourite gospel on and just worship lustily. Thank God for where you’re at and thank Him for where He is about to take you.

16.  Light the candles. Run the bath and have a long soak with a glass of wine in hand and your favourite music in the background. Lean back, close your eyes and let your mind drift to a place of bliss and light and love.

Have a Soak...

17.  Pay a visit to the hospital…the kids ward. Take a gift with you, a stuffed toy or something that will make them laugh or put a smile on their little precious faces. They need love more than you think.

18.  That dress you saved for Mr Valentine, put it on and grace the dance floor…live a little. That bottle of champagne you saved for Mrs Right, pop it open and enjoy while you watch your favourite sport…life is now.

19.  You’ve been in the gym all year trying to get that six pack for that chick and you a beach bum for the right man. But the day is here and they are not here…munch on your favourite fatty food while you’re at it understand that the right person will love you just the way you are.

Go On Life Adventures!
Live!

20.   Disconnect from social media and reconnect with yourself. Reflect and evaluate your life. Understand that you’re whole all by yourself and you’re exactly where you need to be.

21.   Say a prayer. Make sure you are praying just as much as you are wishing for it. Make God service your delight and make Him your foundation. Understand that in the absence of Valentine’s Day you are still you. God’s love is unwavering and ever present.

  

Jeremiah 29:11

Don’t be troubled by the pressures of this world. Be unshaken by societal pressures. Love is love and there are different types of love.

crave and yearn for that John 3.16 love...the kind that gives hope and is unconditional. The one that is not fickle and is built on a rock solid foundation. the love that falters not and will stand through the test of time. That God kind of Love.

You might be single…so what? You’re still a dope human. Don’t be reeled by people’s relationships…you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. You have no idea what their relationships are built on. 

Social media can get you all confused and envious or people’s lives. It can cause you to lose focus and send you into a destructive zone.

Don’t be that person. 

Take it all with a pinch of salt and understand that social media is nothing more than the best episodes of our lives….the not so happy ones you’ll never see.

So why be envious of an illusion?!

Be content and happy. Trust the timing of your life and enjoy the process.

I was looking for a sign once because I am a professional thinker and no one criticizes me more than myself...and I am always looking for answers. This writing on the wall appealed to me. And i knew i had to trust God more and learn to not overthink joy out of this beautiful life.

Trust The Process

I am exactly where I need to be. That was all I needed to know. We all need assurance from time to time. We all fail. We all have flaws. We all have bloopers.

In a relationship or not, don't neglect the duty of loving yourself and don't bow to societal pressures.

My point is, be encouraged and trust God, trust yourself more, trust your journey and trust your destiny. What’s for you will never pass you by and you will be who you were meant to be.

Your purpose on this earth might not be as you have rehearsed it in your head – meet prince charming or Mrs Right, fall in love and get married and have beautiful kids.

We all cannot have the same paths.

Not all of us will meet the love of our lives…some of us our purpose is way greater. Embrace it.

Love is bigger…way bigger than Valentine’s Day!

Till then

Xoxo

I Dare You...

I dare you to send that text first and not play the hide and seek behind the keyboard, to let yourself be vulnerable and be human. To not be afraid to translate your feelings into words and actions.

I Dare you...

I challenge you to tell me exactly how you’re feeling, good or bad, in love or out of love. I challenge you to always endeavour to let me know!

I want you to make that phone call when you want to speak to me, trash the pride and ego and tell me how bad you were aching to talk to me…how bad you want to see me.

And I want to see you be a man, in the midst of your boys, no fronting. Have the guts to show me off…even when your boys think you’re whipped. Hold my bag when my hands are full, carry my shoes when I can no longer carry myself on my heels after a long night out.

I dare you to not string me along when I no longer give you butterflies or make your heart smile.

When I’m no longer a source of inspiration and happiness, I want you to turn the lights off but first I dare you to let me know.

When i'm No Longer A Source Of  Happiness....
Please Let Me Know

Against the odds, I want you to stand up for me, when people say I’m no good for you, when the crowd wails that you’re too good for me, when the hearsay gets too much and when the noise of the market tries to overcome what we have, I want you to be a rock for me.

Be a shoulder to cry on, a solace where I can channel my inner cry baby and not be ashamed. A place where I just know everything is going to be okay…eventually.

I challenge you to never keep me around for convenience. When you feel your heart beats for me only out of pity, I implore you to blow the candle out.

I want you to be my vault, the one I can tell my darkest twisted secrets. I dare you to be my place of no judgement. Someone I can tell about my most embarrassing moments and the fall I had on the staircase when no one was watching. The time I pronounced a word wrongly in public and that time my bank card got declined with a queue of people behind me. Oh the horror!

When other temptations are flaunted at you, I dare you to say no. To display a true strength of character and integrity and maturity - to let the world know that what you already have is enough!

But when I’m no longer enough for you, when your heart is full and exhausted and can no longer go on… I dare you to let me know.

I dare you to be my goofy funny and silly best mate. Laugh with me and laugh at me. Let’s do it uncontrollably till our belly ache. Laugh at my stupid jokes and be stupid with me. Whenever I feel like taking myself too seriously, remind me how stupid I look.

Can We Make Laughing Our Tradition?

Promise me that we will never forget to laugh.

But when I step out of line, I dare you to put me back in line. When I act out of character have the balls to tell me where I went wrong, not with any resentment but in love.

When the going gets tough, and the tough gets going, pray with me and pray for me. Remind me of God’s love when I don’t feel too loved, when I feel like calling quits, remind me why I started in the first place.

I know it’s not always going to be all stars and giggles but remind me to smile when troubles try to tie a knot in my soul. When the storm comes to play, remind me and never forget to tell me that no storm can take the sunshine away.

I challenge you to have confidence in what we share, that no matter what happens in the future we will know that what we had was real and true.

If we go a day without talking, I want you to remember the good times. The days that brought so much laughter and happiness and I want you to use that memory to put a smile on your face.

Some nights, I’ll be human and fart in my sleep. Can we laugh about it in the morning?

I know there are going to be days when you’ll hate me but …..Love me, love me even when you hate me. Love me even when I am hard to love. Love me even when I am unbearable and a handful.

Love Me...Even When You Hate Me

We are going to disagree but let’s never forget to be respectful and considerate to each other. We are going to be angry with each other but promise me we will fight through it with love.

And never make me look stupid.

Let’s not forget the bad days are there to make us appreciate the good days more. Sometimes the only way up is down and we must never forget this.

Sometimes I might just need a tight hug and a warm cuddle, be my baby pooh bear and hold me tight and assure me of your love for me because no matter how independent and sure I always look, there are going to be days when I’ll need you. Be there… I dare you.

I’ll miss my steps and stumble, other days I might fall, be there to pick me up and cure my bruises. I’ll be crushed and not fit for anything on some days, I challenge you to be my ace.

 I dare you…I challenge you!

Happy Valentines Day Lovers

 For the long haul - you can count on me to be your…

to be contd.

Till next time

Xoxo

Don’t leave it too late…What if Tomorrow Is Too Late?!

Happy birthdays have become HBD on the likes of Facebook and Instagram and twitter. No one has the time. Will the few extra letters kill you?

Bereavements are announced on Facebook; picture of the dead is being posted for all to see and freely circulated on whatsaap. What happen to respect for the dead?

We publish picture of unborn babies even before it forms a shape. I understand you are excited and all that but give it a minute. What happen to cherished moments?

We forget our parents; we forget they are growing old. We forget they need us more than ever as the clock ticks. Make some time.

We over think situation and the fear of what if holds us back. Do what you want to do, right here, right now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

We watch from a distance and see the person we love walk away from our lives. We dread walking up to them and tell them how we feel. The only moment you have is now!

We get sucked up in this chaotic life and forget out relatives, friends and loved ones. We are busy finding a living and in the meantime abandoning important relationships. At the end of the day the only thing that we’re left with is the relationship we make.

Value Your Relationships...Make Time!

We’re flying high, living in the fast lane and making big bucks. YES! Life is good. Don’t forget your loved ones. Sometimes they don’t need your money, just your time. Make some time.

Your bank account might be looking all healthy and fit but are your loved ones looking just as healthy? Do you know how they’re faring on? Do you remember their birthdays and anniversaries? Cherish your relationships!

Don’t wait till they’re on their sickbeds before you jump at the opportunity to care. Sometimes even with all the money in the world, it does gets a little too late.

You hurt someone, apologise. You stepped on someone’s toes, apologise. Pride and ego kills faster than rat poison. You’ll still be whole after you say sorry, don’t worry!

I get it. We’re humans and sparks do fly sometimes. However, watch your words. Choose your words carefully. Never end a conversation on a bad note. Hurtful words never suffice for a good ending. Words are powerful and the last you might ever say to someone might be a bad note. What time have you got to make amends?

Be polite. As Eric Hoffer rightly said, rudeness is a weak imitation of strength. Respect is reciprocal. Please and thank yous are so rarely used these days. Everyone expects something back but finds it hard to give. Give respect and it’ll be returned back to you!

You have a dream, pursue it. Go after it. Run along with it, till you get what you want. There is never a perfect time. The perfect time is the time you decide to make a start!

You’re there thinking they’re going to be around forever. Stop! There comes a time when the village idiot becomes wise. Don’t take people’s love for granted. One day, you’ll look through a microscope and you won’t be able to see a molecule of their presence, neither their shadow.

Grandmothers!!! Do not forget them. Care for them. Show them you love them. All they need is your love and the feeling that you are there. They don’t need your money.

Your wives, husbands, boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other:  Love, respect and care for them. Sometimes it’s not what we say; it’s what we don’t say that speaks louder!

Your kids: Give them that attention they crave. Love and care for them. When they’re old and grey your love is what they will remember, and that is what will remain with them.

Don’t give your loved ones the opportunity to doubt your love for them. You shouldn’t even have to say it. The way you treat them speaks volumes! Treat people like it’s the last you’re seeing of them.

One day it’ll be too late so give this life your best shot!

Don't live life in the What If Lane...

You don’t need a lot to show your love. All you need is to make time.

No man is an island, no man stands alone. You need people. You don’t expect them to come running when you need them if you you’ve treated them like they don’t matter.

What we forget is, when you take care of a good thing, that good thing will take care of you. Best believe.

You leave it till they’re dead, even your money and presence then won’t make things right.

With that, I wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget to celebrate your love in the littlest way possible.

Remember To Color Your Life With Love.....at any given chance!!
Happy Valentine's Day

Till then

Xoxo

Let's Talk About Love

Its St Valentine's day and being the hopeless romantic that I am, I can't help but give y'all something to munch on. Some people despise this day, some people live for this day and some people just don't give two rats about this day. I am not going to dwell on what Valentine's day is all about because even a six year old can give you a mind blowing lecture on it. It's Lover's day y'all. :)

Abort Bitterness & Enjoy the Day

Let's talk about love. 

What Is Love To You? 

For me I think love is a mental illness....no joke. The way it takes over your senses...*nods head* and the funny thing is we don't know it, in fact we never do till reality slaps us across the face that is if we're lucky. It is a Mental illness because when you fall in love you are never the same. Even the most sensible person lose it when they're in love. You on the outside start asking questions and wondering what is going on. But looking on from the outside you can never understand the whole picture.Well that's the beauty of love. It's between the two and what they share or what is holding them together is something an onlooker will never be able to lay a finger on and that's because love is not meant to be understood neither do you need a reason to love. You just love because you love. See how that sounded a bit confusing....it goes on to show, Love is not there for you to study it. Give it up....you'll fail miserably my friend.

The Power Of Love....Have you been affected?

When someone is in love, nothing really seems to matter. Sensible advise just sounds like gibberish to you and you become totally oblivious to your surroundings. It might not be the right love and all the warning signs might be flashing but you just do a Stevie Wonder to them signs.... the power of love! That feeling I personally think is the best feeling in the world. I don't care if I am going to hit my last toe painfully in the end or if it will all end in a minute. For that moment I'm happy and my happiness is all that matters,even if it's short lived. Regrets don't live here, no matter what, just lessons learnt. Most times these are moments that you will hardly forget in your entire life. These are moments you start to make life stories. Being in love and being loved back in return is a high no drugs is able to lift you to. And that my friends is love for ya.

Are You Bitter About Love or do You Embrace Love Despite all Your Short Comings? 

I think love is something we should not give up on because a life with no love is a sad life which gets lonely sometimes. Some people have a mind that is bullet proof against love, love can't penetrate and even if love slaps them across the face they won't notice. These people have shut their hearts down totally and the word love which is supposed to bring a smile now brings about pain. These people are bitter and that is a dangerous place to be. You might not get it right the first time or the second time but in the end have some faith that you will. What is a love story without trials? The greatest love stories normally include blood, sweat and tears. Once bitten, twice shy? I totally understand this but don't let one bad experience spoil it for you because you could be missing out on something good....something real good! Embrace love but while you're at it don't forget a little bit of self loving till the right one comes along.

Do They Scare You?

It's no competition. It's not a marathon. It's not the Olympics and it's definitely not a game. We all know these people that paint the picture of a perfect relationship and claims everyday is Valentines Day. Really?   Liars..Liars Liars!! In this chaotic and busy world we live in, are you trying to tell us that you're all loved up everyday or you have time to express your feelings everyday? OK! GTFOH!! They make you feel inadequate? Don't be! You have your own choices to make and your own life to live. The picture you might be seeing from the outside can be totally different from the actual life they're living. Things are not always what they seem. 99% of the time, they ain't about that life. Don't get jealous and don't get scared even if they have the perfect relationship. Wish them well and believe its perfect for them but not right for you. Live your life and when you're least expecting it, love waltz into your life...because that's the way love goes.

This post can go on and on and on but y'all got plan for V.Day. hehehe....Let me don't hold you up.

If you're happily in love, enjoy the day and show your other half just how much he or she means to you despite you not showing it everyday.

If You're single and sad, don't drown yourself in a tub of ice cream, gym membership is not cheap.  There's hope. Invest in some self loving, smile and make an opening for love....It'll be worth it. ;)

If you're single and happy....continue to stay happy but don't stay too happy and comfortable for too long. Everyone needs somebody. :)

If you are happily married.....don't get too comfy and forget to show your partner how much they mean to you. It's easy to get comfy when you've got it in the bag. Remember, it's not just about bagging it, it's about keeping it....not only keeping it but keeping it fresh and exciting.


But hey ..what do i know.. I'm just a hopeless romantic. :)

Is All We Need

Till Then...
Xoxo

February 14, Guess who's riding solo?

A lot of people can't even remember their parents' birthday but February 14 is a date they never forget,especially the teenagers (not picking on you guys..i promise) What is it?

Saint Valentine's Day

• Valentine's day is hyped worldwide but is that a good thing or a bad thing? 
• The pressures of Valentines day and all the expenses that comes with ..is it worth it? 
• Is your love forever or just meaningful for one day?
• Are you that bored in your relationship that you have to look forward to Valentine's day for excitement?

All these questions springs to mind when Valentine's day approaches.

I love valentines day, (yes i'm a sucker for love) in as much as it comes with so much drama, I still look forward to the day. Its another chance to show the one you love that you care. I know people say ''oh we do it everyday'' let me just say, that is a big lie! (please take a seat) Right in the middle of life's chaos, we do forget to show it sometimes.So I'll call it another chance. 

However i think its overly commercialised....every advert on my telly has something to do with Valentine's day and every shop find a way to associate the day with their products and we stupidly fall for it. Yes we do. We go to the extent of buying chocolate that we don't even like just because we want to feel the spirit of February 14! Ha..please ask yourself, is this life? We put ourselves in unnecessary expenses and spend money we don't have ....it shouldn't be that way. You can show someone you care without breaking the bank and likewise the amount of money spent on that day on a flimsy present doesn't scream how much you love and care for an individual. Love sensibly!

What about the pressures of being in a relationship on Feb 14? 

I feel sorry for individuals who think that way because you are clearly setting your self up for a disaster. OK you managed to get yourself a guy/ a lady because its the Feb 14th soon and all your friends are in a relationship. Great .Well done. Clap for yourself!! The day comes and you spend your hard earned cash or maybe an emergency loan you can't even afford on the most expensive gift and a luxurious dinner in a dress or suit you afford. When the night is over, if you are lucky you get a well earned kiss ( but do you have to work that hard for a kiss??) or maybe something more but what happens the morning after? The question is was it worth it, are you going to be single or still in the most expensive relationship you have ever been in? I hope you can afford to feed yourself till your next pay day or if you depend on Mum & Dad's bank, that would always be there for you...so there you go.Not forgetting the loan shark!!

One thing i noticed this past Valentine's day is the day's got loads of haters and loads of bitter people too just chilling and hating on love. WHY?? Stop the hate parade! If you are single on Valentine's day,its not a crime! Why can't you live like a king or queen for the day and treat yourself like the gold you are? Why do you sulk and bestow self pity upon yourself on this particular day? If you feel lonely on Valentine's day, the chances are you've been lonely for a good part of your life and only notices it when the world decides to celebrate love. Well i got news for ya, you can Valentine yourself too..its all looove! Maybe, just maybe right in the middle of loving yourself,you might just get hit by Cupid. Yep... because its only when you embrace life that life will embrace you too.

My dear,you don't have to be in a relationship for valentine's day,remember the day only last for 24 hours. Don't succumb to the pressures of this world,build a mind of your own and think of your heart too. Your heart doesn't deserve all this trouble just for day!

Those in a relationship, why wait for a particular date to show your better half that you care? Love is just not for Valentine's day,its for every passing moment. Maybe,just maybe if we endeavour to show our love ones how much we care and look at it as a duty rather than a chore then Valentine's day wouldn't be so much of a big deal. 

The player...oh dear, this day must be a dilemma for you. Who's going get the dinner date, who's going to get the award winning lie of the year,who's going to get the P45 and who's going to get hired? Decision, Decision, Decision. Must be hard for you but i guess you chose that life so live with it, but it shouldn't be that way. Get a grip young man/woman. Why make your life this hectic? 

On the bright side,one beautiful thing about Valentine's day is the way it's recognised world wide. Yes worldwide, despite the language barrier, colour, age,race and beliefs people both near and far recognise and celebrate the day.  It brings people closer knowing that we all share something in common which is love. Yes..love is universal and everyone recognises it. Isn't it just beautiful?

Remember to show the ones you love that you care every passing moment and don't wait for Valentine's day for a reminder.