50 Shades Of Grey

To some people grey is just a dull colour, to some, they're actually living in the grey...
but how and why?

But love is...

Black is always black…its almost undeniable and so is white, very prominent. The thing about grey…if you look at it too long you’ll start to see traces of white and other days traces of black. 

Basically that is the confusion zone. Aka the side chick zone.
Eurgh I hate that word! Side chick!! It oozes so much disrespect. Why would anyone want to be that?! 

Anyway…

Most often we tell ourselves that love is black and white. Well at least that’s how it’s supposed to be. The white means you’re bae. 
Relationship on fleek! Whoohoo

The black means, well you might have worked that out. Sorry yeh

The grey however is the most often denied and ignored position. It is where you stand when you don’t know if you’re black or white, if the sun is going to shine or if the storm will win, if they’ll look for you or if they will never turn back. The grey area, where you don’t know if you’re coming or going. 

Here goes...

The grey area - where we stand and fight (shout out to all the soldiers) – But know when to let go and when to stay and fight. Are they giving you something to fight for? Are they giving you reasons to stay? Do they even want you to fight for them? This might just be a war with yourself!


The grey area – the home of unanswered questions – the chances are we know the answer to these questions but our delusional self won’t permit us to think right so we cultivate lies and deceit, wrap it with a ribbon and call it a bouquet. You’ll learn soon enough!


The grey are - where we see red and call it green.  Red as we all know means to stop or possibly danger. Stop being a damn fool. Stop deceiving yourself. Stop lowering your self-esteem. Stop taking jewels off your crown. Stop breaking your bones in pieces to fit in. stop giving everything to people who have no plans for you. Stop discounting your valuables. Stop making excuses for boneless spines. Stop being a grave yard to dead bones. Stop. Stop. Just stop!

They're Just Not That Into You...
Even a shorter dress doesn't do the magic...sorry yeh

The grey area - where we put flowers on an asshole (excuse my French) and call it a vase – Stop it. Even if you stuff the hole in an ass, they will still remain an ass. You know what they say, if it looks, walks and quack like a duck…


The grey area- where you build a castle, crown yourself the village idiot. Cooking and cleaning your way into oblivion. Showering their hearts with luxurious gifts. Praying and fasting steadily like the world is about to end. Even your loyalty is unmatched. Loyalty to a heart that doesn’t acknowledge your mere being. (This is serious)  Sorry … all that won’t make you ‘’The One’’. Have you tried that thing where we put one foot in front of the other and walk away, better still run? Maybe you should.


The grey area – where we believe their silence is them making up their minds and their no replies is them being too busy building their empire. All the while you’re forgetting that indecisiveness is an answer. Why must someone struggle to love you? Silence is an answer too. Take it and run. Find the exit and never look back! 


The grey area - where you think they’re giving you mixed signals – No love, no one is mixing anything. Chances are you’re the only one experiencing mixed signals. They have couple of your kinds and they are reaping the benefits steadily. Why buy the cow?! Free milk never felt so good huh?!


The grey area - where one person is catching feelings and building castles in the air and the other is sipping on earl grey like the boss that is Kermit! 


The grey area - where the baboon works its behind off and the monkey is sitting high and mighty, eating all the harvest. It really doesn’t have to be that way! When the feeling is mutual the effort would be equal.


The grey area – where one person is gloriously swimming in pride and ego thinking they’re too good and the other is shredding and losing self, one heart beat at a time. Dead soul is no good to no man, not even yourself. Stop it.


The grey area - where Sleepless nights, headache, frustration, anger and tears are the kings of the castle. They rule your heart and they have succeeded in driving happiness away. Bravo…I hope it’s worth it!


The grey area- where you’ve grasped onto the quote ‘’Patience is golden’’ and ‘’the patient dog eats the fattest bone’’ Patience in this case is not that golden and the only thing you’ll be eating is air, warm or cold you get to choose! 

  
The grey area - The lukewarm zone where you’re not even sure if your tea tastes nice because it’s actually a perfect cuppa or because you’re just thirsty and you’re not even sure if your sandwich is 3 days old or freshly made because the sense of being has left you…totally. You rolled from living to existing mode real quick!


The grey area- where you become the convenience corner store. When they need that quick fix at 2am or that feel good feeling, you’re there, holding on like a true champ! (Clap for yourself) All the while hoping and praying that one day you’ll graduate from a corner store to the main supermarket. That's not hope, that is a disaster!


The grey area- where you’ve successfully and forcefully convinced yourself that ignorance is bliss, that everything is black and white. The problem is you can’t see the grey because you’re sitting on it. Get up, have a look…ahhhh there’s the grey mass. Now buddy go fix yourself! 


The grey area is where they keep you when they’re weighing their options. The grey area is where you allow yourself to stay while someone decides if they want to take on all your awesomeness. You have no business in that corner, you have so much to give to the right person, why wait for someone to struggle to choose between you and someone else?! That my friend, is your cue to fly!


What you must know is that some people even if a good thing whack them across the face and call them daddy or mummy they still won’t recognise it. And that’s nothing to do with you. Be okay with that. You don’t have to win all your battles but be okay with the fact that you fought! 


Don’t try to squeeze your feet into shoe sizes that are too small. You know what you’ll end up with? A feet like mine, full of corns and calluses because I force my poor feet (Your heart) into ill fitted shoes ( that guy or lady)  just because they look nice (Your target)


Why would you fight so hard to prove your awesomeness to someone? Why have sleepless nights over someone who doesn’t even think about your existence? Think about it, if they can’t see your awesomeness then maybe they don’t deserve you in the first place. You can show someone something good but what you can’t do is force them to appreciate it. 

You haven't known pain till you've loved someone
who doesn't love you back!

If they’re not excited as I am to be in that relationship and doing the skelewu then it’s not happening. Why? Because sleepless nights and heart attack is not my portion nor am I trying to build a river with my tears. Above all I love myself better to know that people go hard for what they really care about and if they’re not going hard for me then maybe, just maybe I am not their cup of tea and I am okay with that.

Skelewu, azonto...the full works.
Unapologetic!

Mate…Move away from the grey area, nothing good grows on that piece of land. Don’t you feel lost? Is the confusion not too much for you? The maybes and what ifs, are they not killing you? 

The Grey Area - Looks pretty lonely to me...

Don’t allow someone to poison your meaning of love because when it hurts that bad, it kills your zeal to fully trust your heart to someone else again in the future. Your happiness matters, be kind to yourself. All that love you’re pouring into perforated hearts that don’t know how to love, massage some into yourself so when the right one comes along you will be able to love again.


Women as well as men play this game, so don't rest on your laurels, be watchful. See a friendship for what it is. Take your sanity very seriously, no one is worth that much. The moment you start questioning that’s when you should start getting your acts together. Love is not hard. People who do not know how to love makes love hard! 

There comes a time where one should grab a no and walk away with it…bruh everything doesn’t have to be something. Be at peace with that.

WASTING TIME IS A DANGEROUS GAME.

I dare you to live a purpose driven life!

Remember ...Love Is Black And White!

Till then

Xoxo

The Unrequited Love

That awkward moment when Cupid refuses to do his job properly…..the heart suffers heartbreak and goes into coma!

You Learn To Live Till Your Prince Finds You!

When you love someone and that person doesn't love you back…mehhh that’s just headache! You desire them. You long for them. You wish for your love to be understood and rewarded but all you get is constant air. You all know the human mind loves a challenge, so the more we are rejected the more we pursue! OK, I just want to stop you right there. Don’t be a fool about it, read the signs and quit while you’re ahead.

We all know this feeling all too well... (If you don’t, please get in touch, you might be the one that got away!)

We all have had crushes, present or past.  We've all had that one person we dream the rest of our lives with. We've all had that dream. The terrible thing is it doesn't matter your age; your love can be rejected. It doesn't matter your financial status your love can be rejected and thrown back in your face. It’s just one of those things that hit you at any stage or phase in your life. Love doesn't choose. If we had the pleasure of choosing who we love, we wouldn't have so many broken hearts. The heart wants what the heart wants. Period!

Love on its own is a very strong emotion. Now think of your love being packaged and thrown back in your face. That’s never an easy thing to deal with. It makes you think the unthinkable and do the impossible. It can jerk up your self-esteem. Appetites go out of the window. It can disturb you emotionally and mentally for a very long time. It can send your ever so peaceful mind into an unruly riot. More dangerously, it has the tendencies of making you settle for less than you deserve.

Just Don't Stay Stupid!

As you grow you learn. As you grow you learn to accept that your kind of love is not for everyone. Your love is special. It’s unique. It’s bespoke for the right person. Never force it on someone who doesn't recognise it or who isn't ready for it. If it is meant to be, you wouldn't have to force it on no one. The heart that is meant to love you will love you fearlessly. Lighten up chief. You’ll live. You’ll learn. You’ll love again!

Broken hearts are common, more common than you think. You are not going through this alone. So many people dream of their ideal partner that has never come to past. But that does not mean we give up on love. We love love even harder and get set for the next blow or the next fairy tale. Loving gives hope. If you've given up on love then you have given up on life. Don’t, just don’t!

You love him or her and they don’t reciprocate. Don’t die brother, be strong. Sister, dry those tears and adjust your tiara. It’s not the end of the world. That is just one person. The right one might just be one dash of hope away. Why give up on love?

In life you will encounter nos and yeses in abundance. Learn to accept them and move on. The wind doesn't have to blow in your direction all the time. Don’t you think you deserve better than crawling all over someone who doesn't want you? Easier said than done? I know I know…but you have to save your own dear little heart and the worst type of relationship to be in is one where the feeling is not mutual. Please, death is not your portion….at least not yet.

Don't Be a Damn Fool ~ Quit While You're Ahead!

My thought is, if everyone that you love loves you back, my friend I’m afraid you have a situation. You don’t need that ‘’Yes Man’’ problems around you. No challenge. No room for growth. No room for improvement. No Motivation. No Drive. No Stimulation. Nothing! Is that how cheap and simple your love is? I thought not!

Now I fully support you if you decide to listen to the saddest love song ever created, or fill a whole year’s journal in just one day, or cry your eye balls out, better still finish all that chocolate that’s been in the fridge since Easter (Just remember that gym membership is not cheap) My point is, do what you have to do to get over that UNREQUITED LOVE.

Few things you must remember when dealing with An Unrequited Love

• There’s a reason that person doesn't feel the same way…accept it (whatever it may be)
• They don’t owe you an explanation, get over it.
• Your kind of love is not for everyone, but it is for somebody.
• Darling, it is OK to cry a river just don’t buy a boat and start paddling in there! (It will take you nowhere)
• You are beautiful. You are handsome. You were fearfully made by The Man Himself (God)
• You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. Don’t stop loving!
• Nothing is wrong with you (Guys buckle your belts and lace your shoes. Ladies adjust your tiara and wipe your tears. )
• Get your esteem back up and keep it moving.
• Find your rainbow in every cloud and keep smiling.

·         Till then

Xoxo