Thursday, 30 July 2015

Dating My Generation

I would like you to have a cup of patience and a plate of sighs to go with your anti-pissed off tablet today. 

Why you might wonder, because what I’m about to say will probably hit a nerve, so get prepared.

My mother is always on my case telling me how picky I am and my dad is always asking after my bloke, as he calls it. What they don’t get is how disturbed our generation is when it comes to dating.

Maybe it’s just me or maybe I am just stuck in an unknown era but dating my generation is a conquest on its own.

I mean, life is hard already. Dating shouldn’t be a pain.

We Have Forgotten The Simple Things

First of all, we all think we’re the best thing since sliced bread. And don’t get me wrong I am all for self-love and knowing thy worth.

But my oh my… my generation takes the boat out to sea!

When someone shows interest in us we start rolling out the calendar. We start acting like a fool, stringing them along to see how long the person will keep pursuing our interest and consequently be the fool for us.

Well here’s the thing about playing hard to get, you need to know when to stop, but my generation ….ahhh we have no stop sign.

In dating my generation get ready for the competition of a lifetime. Everything is a competition and I mean EVERYTHANG.

Who’s going text or call first? Who’s going to make the first move and how many hours apart must the texts be. Everything is so carefully calculated.

If you take 5 minutes to reply to my messages best believe we’ll times that by 5 before we send a response.

Our greatest struggle is the fight in our heads.

“Should I text them first? Or should I wait for them to text me?” “How long should I wait to text them back?” “He took an hour to answer my text, how long should I wait now?”

The struggle is real.

To Text Or Not To Text

Oh let me use all the fibre in my being to ignore this message even though I want to respond so bad, I don’t want to look desperate, so let me wait till 6 hours later because they took 5 hours to get back to me after my last text.

Yea I don’t have a life…my existence is for you and you alone.

It could all be so simple but we’ve managed to riddle the dating scene with manipulative mind games and succeeded in making it complicated.

Well done!

In my generation, we have the Instagram-o-meter and the Facebook-o-meter by which love is measured.

No matter how much you love me if you do not validate us by posting a pic of us on all the social networks then I’m sorry, we’re not a couple.

No show of my picture on your Instagram and Facebook? Then we are not in love, sorry love.

It's Not Valid Till It's Online

What will people think? Oh no, people are going to think we are not a couple. Or maybe there is someone else.

What about the fact that I may not want all that attention into what we share?!

No matter how authentic what we have going on is, we are not official until you Facebook, Twitter and Instagram it. In my generation the only validation you need is the likes!

Yaay...let do it for the likes!

The ultimate validation lies in the approval of strangers in the form of 40 comments and 100 likes.

Oh the crazy mental sad horror!

Do Not Believe The Hype On Social Media

And you better remember to change that relationship status on Facebook because the relationship will end even before it started.

We are a very exhausting generation.

Dates have become auditions and job interviews. We go to a date and act like the other is doing us a huge favour. My friend, am not here to get a mortgage or get a job. Let’s get it together.

A Date Or An Audition?

Ok that’s not all, we won’t ask you out like a normal human being, we will resort to that Neanderthal lifestyle and chirp like birds and wolf whistle the life out of you in the streets. Blow car horns and scare the hell out of you, they will hunt you down with plethora of slangs and derogatory names and you have to look away and ignore like nothing happened.

That Neanderthal Lifestyle

We seem to have foul-mouthed and rudeness on a lock down!

You’re not allowed to say no to an interested party. They will cuss the daylight out of you. Yes we are a manner less generation with potty mouth and filthy antics.

Trust is a myth and so is loyalty and commitment. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We will replace you so fast, you’ll doubt your existence. We will tell you there are many fishes in the sea and we will sing BeyoncĂ©’s irreplaceable for you because we are always irreplaceable but you are not.

We will update our Facebook status so fast and with the speed of light we'll upload an apt quote on Instagram for you. Yep we know how to air our dirty lining in the public!

Don’t play with us. We do this!

My generation is the most confuxed generation. You know that unique state of being both confused and fucked up at the same time …yea that.

We are promiscuous, disrespectful, foul-mouthed and self-centred – backed with a lot of ego to feed a village.

The Disrespect And Disregard Is Real

We are an emoji- obsessed generation. Deciphering every Emoji used in a text message will leave you utterly misplaced and confused, yea we have abandoned the simple ways.

Why do we insist on making life so hard?! 

It doesn’t end there, we will bombard you with WYD, HRU, and GM wrapped in excessive LOLs and lmaoo. You will think it’s a typo but no, please understand that this is us trying to show emotions. This is my generation telling you they care about you.

How A Simple Message Can Be Lost

A phone call would have been so much easier but unfortunately we've made phone calls a dying art.

My generation. We are just a special breed.

Our most creative idea of a date is on the couch with the most recent upload on Netflix with a bottle of Blossom Hill. If you’re lucky we’ll throw in popcorn as starters and ice cream as dessert. Yep, sorted.

CheapSkates OR Nah?!

Are we just cheapskates or we’re just a lazy-can’t-be-bothered-generation?

To ease the responsibility of dating, we have managed to coin so many uncanny terms for our Significant other. The friend zone – when we feel like you’re nothing but a mate, we have the cuffing season where we claim it’s too cold to be alone so we cop ourselves another human to shield the winter. Friends with benefits, this is where we believe you’re nothing but a generous friend who offers benefits like casual sex and casual hanging out – no emotions attached.

How convenient!

Friends With Benefits - Effortless Dating

We are an emotionless generation. We even break up through a text and we don’t care about your tears or broken heart or quivering voice or the tubs of ice-creams you may have squandered.

Yea…welcome to my robotic generation.

Another thing is choices. Our choices are killing us. We have no time to put in the effort in anything, even if it’s worth doing. Why would I spend time trying to make something work when I can get another in a matter of minutes?

How luxurious!

Effortless Generation...Why Bother?!

We do everything but date. We chill. We kick it. We hangout. We hook up. We specialises in one nighters. But if it requires effort, count us out. We are not about that life.

A label free generation, that’s what we are.


We accept so little and settling for mediocrity is the order of my generation.

Romance is measured in a trivia thing as a good morning text and changing my government name to bae. 

When did we learn to satisfy and be comfortable with so little?!

We Need Education...Please Help!

No good morning text. Oh no they’ve found someone else. Someone’s taken my place. He doesn’t love me anymore, she’s cheating on me.

That’s not love, that is attachment!

A generation of extreme paranoia! That’s what we are.

With my generation, all the chance you get is one night. One night to show who you are. One night to give it all up. One night to show you have masters in being a super girlfriend and a degree in being the doting boyfriend. Bring your A game Or else you’re a write-off.  No second chances.

Result of endless choices.

We are a smash-and-pass generation. We have carefully changed the dating game to a game of smash and pass.

Social networks like Tinder, Facebook and Instagram has just managed to legalise hook-ups. I see your picture and the next hour we’re meeting up for a drink or more.

Easy peasy…

My mother’s generation would slowly and carefully take time to create something meaningful and solid but my generation, we microwave everything. From our food right down to our relationships. We are a readymade-obsessed generation.

Our Parents Mend & Fix.

We Trash & Burn

Yea as if it’s not bad enough, Tinder, and the likes just made the game more heated.

And we love it!

When things go sour, our father’s generation would try to sweeten it again. When the stitches are getting lose on the relationship, they will mend it together.

We do not have time for that. Ride what wave? Die for what? Mend what relationship? If it ends, so be it…On to the next. And we will tell you that we replace, we do not chase.

Are you convinced that we are special yet?

Imperfections are not tolerated. You have no room to have a crooked eyebrow or a bit of love handle, nor are you allowed to be human or living with your parents. You must be perfect and on fleek at all times.

We woke up like this.

We make a conscious effort to play it cool and pretend we have no blood running through our veins. We go out of our way to work against all what comes natural to us. Like loving, caring and giving a damn about someone.

We are ridiculously foolish.

How i see it, we are nothing but a scared and scarred generation. Scared of the unknown and scarred by past experiences. So we've built walls and cemented it with a careless and ruthless approach to love and relationship.

In Protecting Our Hearts, We Hurt Others


Love is still love. From the days of our parents’ parents to this very moment, the definition of love haven’t changed but however the generation’s changed. And as time changes, love that is so pure and true have been tainted with ego, pride, laziness and promiscuity.

The power to love have been overcome by the need to be cool and be seemingly uninterested.

We are scared to be vulnerable, scared to show emotions and be open, afraid to be human therefore we succumbed to the robotic lifestyle.

Yep can’t touch this!

We are cowards. Cowards who do not have the guts and what it takes to risk loving another wholeheartedly, without doubts and judgement, without fear and pride.

Today I challenge you.

To lay it all on the table and tell that person how you feel, unleash the emotions that you have been holding in for so long. Forget what you learnt. Stop fighting it. Forget what the world have taught you and just love someone. Love someone with every fibre of your being then and only then you’ll know what love really is. 

Whatever we give into the world, we get back….in thousand folds.

so give love…

If you find an old soul that loves like its 1999….hold on to them.

Let's Bring It Back

Let’s bring it back, let’s bring loving back like its 1999…

Till then