The Almost Lover

Be mindful of the almost lover!

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He will put a smile on your face because he knows all your favourite things. He will come into your life, read the rules so he can break them and you won’t even know it.

He will give you uncontrollable laughter and moments that will have you smiling in public like a Cheshire cat and in your silent moments like a village idiot.

But he’s just an almost lover.

He is a dream, the dream. But do not forget nightmares are dreams too.

He will say the right things but listen carefully because he will make no promises. His language will be casual just like what he is offering. He will be fluent in almosts.

He will be around but never around, pay attention. He will do the right things but just enough for him to keep you around. He likes having you around but never in. He thrives in almosts and his whole vibe is poison. That type our grandmothers warned us against and our mothers prayed against.

He will do just what will have you thinking you have a good one. Sister, you have nothing.

He will get you twisted into giving your all while he gets away with giving back so little. He will be committed but he can never claim you.

He enjoys the benefits of a relationship but doesn’t want to be in one. He will play house and play the part well. He is the busy guy that is full of excuses but when he is around, he is full of cloud nine feels.

He thinks he is God’s gift to humanity and will make you feel like you’re lucky to have him. He will set the boundaries and he will make the rules. He will want you.

But just because he wants you doesn’t mean he values you. At least not enough to call you his.

At least not enough...

He is the innocent looking guy, the devil in a blue suit, he is the disguise and the exact shade of wrong. He knows God and will have you thinking all sorts. He is a bag of illusion and a seller of dreams. He is Mr tall dark and handsome.

He will be everything you’ve ever wished for. He is capable of loving but he will not love you...he is just an almost lover.

He will show you that he cares but never enough to show that he loves you. He is crafty and clever, he will say so little with so much and your mind will play tricks on you.

And when you think you’re about to hit the next level, he subtly reminds you of the boundaries of what you are and what you’re not without saying a word.

The almost lover is not deceitful and tell no lies, he plays with your emotions and toys with your mind. He gives feels and leaves you in a shitload of assumptions. He is the type to tell you the grass is pink and you won’t even question it.

See… he tells you and you believe because common sense is gone. The ability to question what he offers and what he says is missing. Because he sold you a dream and you were a willing buyer.

We all know the grass is not pink and will never be pink…but you believed. He is not the problem. You are the problem.

He is just an almost lover.

Again, he makes the rules and lays the boundaries. He will act the part but never be the actual. He is Mr almost, the actor who specialises in confusion. If you let him, he’ll leave you confused and discombobulated.

Don’t fall for it. Run!

And if you have to ask him what are we...you’re actually nothing. Don’t wait around for him to decide if he wants you in his life or not. Don’t hang on to every crumb he’s feeding at the dinner table...get up from the table when you have that gut feeling that love is no longer in the menu.

Don’t allow fear to hold you back.

You might want to be angry and annoyed and disgusted with Mr almost lover but you shouldn’t be. He is not the problem.

You Allowed Him...You weren't naive,
He was just good at what he does.

I am going to be really harsh and say be angry and annoyed with yourself. You allowed him. You let him into your life. He overstayed. Took what he shouldn’t be taking and claimed things he wasn’t entitled to. You let him stay for so long. You let him break pieces in your house. You allowed him in and bought all the dreams that he sold so well.

See, he is a seller and will sell to any willing buyer. Unfortunately, you were one.

You weren’t naïve. He was just good at what he does which is being Mr Almost Lover.

He is the almost lover but you allowed him to be Mr almost lover in YOUR life. Everything he got away with, you let him.

You let him…hoping Mr almost lover would change to the one.

Ask questions…like heck ask them! Use your outdoor voice and demand what you want. If you’re unhappy about something, speak up. Don’t shrink yourself in the name of love. It is always better to know the truth than to swim in a lake of assumptions and dwell in a fool’s paradise pretending to be happy.

He likes you, he likes you a lot and might even be missing you but not enough to call you his woman. He will never choose you and you will never be a priority in his life. When he talks about the things he loves, he will never mention you and when he speaks of his future your name doesn’t come up.

It’s not there, was never there. You can’t make someone meet you at the bridge. You can give him the best directions, you can even hold his hands there but you can’t make him stay.

He is full of feels and tastes of what you can get but will never get with him. He is so honest it hurts and that was the problem. If he is honest enough to let you know what it is, why can’t you be good to yourself and honest with him and let him know how you feel instead of building a castle in a fool’s paradise?

Don’t lose yourself in the process of finding someone. You are magnificent and you are enough. You are someone’s answered prayers but the wrong focus can divert you from the right people and the right things.

If he doesn’t choose you, I want you to choose yourself and walk away. It is only the end of the world when you refuse to choose You.

You are worthy, worthy of a love that will stay. You deserve way more than Mr Almost Lover.

Life is short so fill it with people that want to stay with you. People that adores you and things that make you happy. Be courageous and start again if you must but at your own pace.

He is Mr Almost lover and that is his deficiency. His inability to love you wholly should never taint your crown. Or have you question yourself.

You have a lot of love to give but don’t waste it on the wrong person. You deserve a love that will claim you, want you and choose you.

You deserve a love that you don’t have to question. You deserve a love that will say yes to you each day without hesitation. A love that screams yes and not spills maybes. A love that will know what they have when they have you. That God kind.

It’s out there, do not settle for crumbs!

Till then

xoxo