Let’s Do It For The Gram...

Hold on a sec, I am just going to push up this left boob a bit more , yes that’s it, and this right one a bit to the centre, that’s it. This is guaranteed a smooth 101 likes and maybe a few compliments on the comment box.

Bingo!

Aite aite …these chicks love muscles and a bit of beard, let me take this vest off and take a selfie real quick. Yea that’s it, and another nice angle of the packs...yup. This should send a little chaos towards my inbox.

When guys Show off!! 
I see you!

I smell chaos, I see an attention seeker, and I can sense loneliness. I hear a desperate scream for validation, I prescribe a reality check.

Grown women. Grown men. Underage kids. No one is exempted from this ‘’let’s do it for the gram syndrome’’

Our generation is breaking and so is my heart.

The thirst for likes, the hunger for compliments and the ever-growing craving for shares is taking over. But really brethren it’s not that serious.

We are humans who love a free show, discounted stuff, better still free stuff. And you’re there offering on a platter of course we’re going to go crazy. I myself have been known to love a bargain and a buffet…yea I’m shameless but can you blame me though?!

You’re all cleavage-up, in your thong, naked washboard of twelve packs on display… They will like the hell out of your pictures and make you think you’re the best thing since slice bread, they will share till the share button declines their shares, they will give you compliments that will make you feel like you can walk on water but if you can’t swim like me, don’t try it!

But that’s why you posted that naked pic though isn’t? that’s why you posted that pic of you in your sitting room in a bikini, (are you okay girl) the same reason why you posted that pic of your boobs and all the while claiming you’ve got a new hair style, yea I see you. The same reason why you strategically posed so your ass can look fuller and more enticing…all for the gram, the likes and the shares.

Anything For The Likes huh?

You claim you’re getting it in the gym but all I can see is you flexing those muscles and squinting the living daylight out of your eyes…brother can you see though? You’re there struggling to grow that beard too, can I just state that not all girls love beards because this latest obsession with beards is spiralling out of control and we need to make it stop. Beard doesn’t make you automatically attractive neither does the muscles but anything that floats your boat buddy.

101 smooth likes, couple of overly sugar-coated compliments and 50 shares... mission accomplished. But how are these contributing to your life? What purpose do they serve because whatever it is, let me just tell you that it Is going to be temporary and unless you’re a model or getting paid to some extent ( I wouldn’t want to judge your hustle you see) then you have no business posting such provocative and suggestive pictures.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these compliments are full of lies and these likes have nothing to do with you being beautiful or handsome, it has to do with how your picture made me feel, that very moment in time? If it’s a nude pic, they will like it and if there is a love button they will love it. It’ll be very damaging for you to think that all those likes, over shares and compliments are because you’re actually handsome or beautiful.

What happens when you’re fully clothed and you post that pic of you in your church attire? You get few likes, no compliments and no shares. Are you going to drop dead? Or will you run to the stores and purchase the latest push up bra or run to the ever faithful mirror and strip to show off that twelve pack?

The do it for the gram syndrome is ruining lives!

Banksy captured my thoughts in this art!

Don’t get me wrong now, I love my shorts and all things short, so you’ll always catch me in such attires but there’s is suggestive and provocative and then there is you just doing your calm and innocent thing. Trust me, there is a difference.

You’re on the beach or on holiday, of course I would expect to see you in your bikini and shorts and sexy sundress. I would expect to see you in all your glorious and fabulous self, but when I start seeing you in your bedroom with little or nothing on, then I start questioning your sanity.

Leave something for the imagination. Did mama not teach you that?!

None of that it’s my life and I can do what I want BS….nope! It is your life no doubt but you have to take complete responsibility for your actions. Your actions affect and influence more people than you think… I can hear you saying (I’m living my life for no one) agreed but to every right there is a responsibility and your responsible for a lot more than you think.

You are a responsible for your image and reputation and whether you like it or not, that is something you have to protect. That is your brand. That is who you are. Few years down the line you’ll be glad you did.

Let This Be Your Motto For Social Media

You’re a teacher, whether you agree or not. You do not have to be on the pulpit or in the classroom, old and young will look at you and change their lives, they will make life changing decisions and all the while you don’t even have a clue. You influence people daily, good or bad that is up to you.  They might not always tell you but more people look up to you than you think. Is nudity the message you want to be sending across?

You’re responsible for you. How do you feel after all the likes and compliments you so desperately desire? How do you sleep at night? Do they keep you warm? The likes, are they sending money straight into your bank account. That feel good feeling, how long does it last for? Ask yourself honestly, is it worth it? Is that beard keeping you warm?

I am not being preachy here but you’re being very mean to yourself. You’re making yourself vulnerable and open to the crazy paedophiles and sex-crazed humans of this world. Sometimes we create our own storms and complain when we get wet. Don’t be that person.

You guys flaunt money and six packs and then complain when you attract the wrong people in your life. You’re always closing circles, deleting friends and glorifying haters (really anytime you complain about haters you’re glorifying them) but what you really should be doing is taking care of self. That’s number one, that is bae and that is home. When the house (your being) is in order, where does the wrong people seat?! No chance mate!

Where lies your self-respect, self-esteem and self-love. I mean, don’t you love yourself? Why are you so violent towards your being? Why are you so cruel and evil to yourself? Who hurt you when you were young?!

You’re out there showing your goodies to people who don’t give two rats about you. They don’t even know you and you’re throwing a party for them. Free entry, food and drink (your body). Girl you’re worth more. Boy get it together.

This Sums Everything Up!

You’re a representation of every woman and man on this earth and if you’re selling cheap (yup men can be deemed cheap too) where does that leave the rest of us? How can we even begin to give value to the market again? In order for us to win the fight, we need to fight as a team. We need to be on the same boat and send the same message across.

Love yourself enough to know that every good thing comes from within. You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean! If only you knew! You have all the love in you and God has given you all the validation you need. Man is fickle and temporary.

Work on yourself. Read books, spend time alone without feeling lonely, and be happy about little things. Don’t compare yourself to no one. And remember beauty lies within. Go to the gym if it makes you feel better, run, jog, and eat healthy (or whatever the heck you want if you’re anything like me). Take 100 selfies, and admire yourself. Find your best features and accentuate them with your favourite makeup, write down one thing you love about yourself every day, it could be your personality, or the way you talk passionately about things you love.

Find a Hobby and Work Passionately at it!

Fill that void in you with the things you love. Find a hobby, do things that you love. Listen to music, watch your favourite movies 50 times over, cook and cleaning can be an awesome therapy too. Learn something new, it could be baking or playing an instrument. A new language. Or a new craft. Understand that you are whole without the likes and someone else’s validation.

After all this, you can boast of it on social media and the likes you get wouldn’t matter because you’ve already gained that inner satisfaction that no man can take that away from you. The likes and compliments are just a bonus. You start to notice that you’re not dependent on them anymore, you realise you don’t need them but a few compliments here and there wouldn’t hurt no one.

Signed & Sealed  - God Did That!

God is love and He has enough to shower you till your cup runneth over. God signed and sealed the deal with you since you were in your mother’s tummy, what else do you need?! concentrate on things that matter and create the best version of yourself.

Confession:

I used to gram for the likes and the followers till I did my 100 happy days of Happiness. This was however not out of low self-esteem, this was me following trends of having lots of followers and subconsciously joining in the charade for likes. Unnecessary competition that I don’t even need to be part of. 100 happy days challenge kind of put things into perspective for me. That really taught me something. I highly recommend it. Maybe you should try it.

Whenever you feel like joining the bandwagon, remember and Understand that social media is a monster, it’ll build you up and have you for breakfast.  

Now let that resonate!

Till then

Xoxo

50 Shades Of Grey

To some people grey is just a dull colour, to some, they're actually living in the grey...
but how and why?

But love is...

Black is always black…its almost undeniable and so is white, very prominent. The thing about grey…if you look at it too long you’ll start to see traces of white and other days traces of black. 

Basically that is the confusion zone. Aka the side chick zone.
Eurgh I hate that word! Side chick!! It oozes so much disrespect. Why would anyone want to be that?! 

Anyway…

Most often we tell ourselves that love is black and white. Well at least that’s how it’s supposed to be. The white means you’re bae. 
Relationship on fleek! Whoohoo

The black means, well you might have worked that out. Sorry yeh

The grey however is the most often denied and ignored position. It is where you stand when you don’t know if you’re black or white, if the sun is going to shine or if the storm will win, if they’ll look for you or if they will never turn back. The grey area, where you don’t know if you’re coming or going. 

Here goes...

The grey area - where we stand and fight (shout out to all the soldiers) – But know when to let go and when to stay and fight. Are they giving you something to fight for? Are they giving you reasons to stay? Do they even want you to fight for them? This might just be a war with yourself!


The grey area – the home of unanswered questions – the chances are we know the answer to these questions but our delusional self won’t permit us to think right so we cultivate lies and deceit, wrap it with a ribbon and call it a bouquet. You’ll learn soon enough!


The grey are - where we see red and call it green.  Red as we all know means to stop or possibly danger. Stop being a damn fool. Stop deceiving yourself. Stop lowering your self-esteem. Stop taking jewels off your crown. Stop breaking your bones in pieces to fit in. stop giving everything to people who have no plans for you. Stop discounting your valuables. Stop making excuses for boneless spines. Stop being a grave yard to dead bones. Stop. Stop. Just stop!

They're Just Not That Into You...
Even a shorter dress doesn't do the magic...sorry yeh

The grey area - where we put flowers on an asshole (excuse my French) and call it a vase – Stop it. Even if you stuff the hole in an ass, they will still remain an ass. You know what they say, if it looks, walks and quack like a duck…


The grey area- where you build a castle, crown yourself the village idiot. Cooking and cleaning your way into oblivion. Showering their hearts with luxurious gifts. Praying and fasting steadily like the world is about to end. Even your loyalty is unmatched. Loyalty to a heart that doesn’t acknowledge your mere being. (This is serious)  Sorry … all that won’t make you ‘’The One’’. Have you tried that thing where we put one foot in front of the other and walk away, better still run? Maybe you should.


The grey area – where we believe their silence is them making up their minds and their no replies is them being too busy building their empire. All the while you’re forgetting that indecisiveness is an answer. Why must someone struggle to love you? Silence is an answer too. Take it and run. Find the exit and never look back! 


The grey area - where you think they’re giving you mixed signals – No love, no one is mixing anything. Chances are you’re the only one experiencing mixed signals. They have couple of your kinds and they are reaping the benefits steadily. Why buy the cow?! Free milk never felt so good huh?!


The grey area - where one person is catching feelings and building castles in the air and the other is sipping on earl grey like the boss that is Kermit! 


The grey area - where the baboon works its behind off and the monkey is sitting high and mighty, eating all the harvest. It really doesn’t have to be that way! When the feeling is mutual the effort would be equal.


The grey area – where one person is gloriously swimming in pride and ego thinking they’re too good and the other is shredding and losing self, one heart beat at a time. Dead soul is no good to no man, not even yourself. Stop it.


The grey area - where Sleepless nights, headache, frustration, anger and tears are the kings of the castle. They rule your heart and they have succeeded in driving happiness away. Bravo…I hope it’s worth it!


The grey area- where you’ve grasped onto the quote ‘’Patience is golden’’ and ‘’the patient dog eats the fattest bone’’ Patience in this case is not that golden and the only thing you’ll be eating is air, warm or cold you get to choose! 

  
The grey area - The lukewarm zone where you’re not even sure if your tea tastes nice because it’s actually a perfect cuppa or because you’re just thirsty and you’re not even sure if your sandwich is 3 days old or freshly made because the sense of being has left you…totally. You rolled from living to existing mode real quick!


The grey area- where you become the convenience corner store. When they need that quick fix at 2am or that feel good feeling, you’re there, holding on like a true champ! (Clap for yourself) All the while hoping and praying that one day you’ll graduate from a corner store to the main supermarket. That's not hope, that is a disaster!


The grey area- where you’ve successfully and forcefully convinced yourself that ignorance is bliss, that everything is black and white. The problem is you can’t see the grey because you’re sitting on it. Get up, have a look…ahhhh there’s the grey mass. Now buddy go fix yourself! 


The grey area is where they keep you when they’re weighing their options. The grey area is where you allow yourself to stay while someone decides if they want to take on all your awesomeness. You have no business in that corner, you have so much to give to the right person, why wait for someone to struggle to choose between you and someone else?! That my friend, is your cue to fly!


What you must know is that some people even if a good thing whack them across the face and call them daddy or mummy they still won’t recognise it. And that’s nothing to do with you. Be okay with that. You don’t have to win all your battles but be okay with the fact that you fought! 


Don’t try to squeeze your feet into shoe sizes that are too small. You know what you’ll end up with? A feet like mine, full of corns and calluses because I force my poor feet (Your heart) into ill fitted shoes ( that guy or lady)  just because they look nice (Your target)


Why would you fight so hard to prove your awesomeness to someone? Why have sleepless nights over someone who doesn’t even think about your existence? Think about it, if they can’t see your awesomeness then maybe they don’t deserve you in the first place. You can show someone something good but what you can’t do is force them to appreciate it. 

You haven't known pain till you've loved someone
who doesn't love you back!

If they’re not excited as I am to be in that relationship and doing the skelewu then it’s not happening. Why? Because sleepless nights and heart attack is not my portion nor am I trying to build a river with my tears. Above all I love myself better to know that people go hard for what they really care about and if they’re not going hard for me then maybe, just maybe I am not their cup of tea and I am okay with that.

Skelewu, azonto...the full works.
Unapologetic!

Mate…Move away from the grey area, nothing good grows on that piece of land. Don’t you feel lost? Is the confusion not too much for you? The maybes and what ifs, are they not killing you? 

The Grey Area - Looks pretty lonely to me...

Don’t allow someone to poison your meaning of love because when it hurts that bad, it kills your zeal to fully trust your heart to someone else again in the future. Your happiness matters, be kind to yourself. All that love you’re pouring into perforated hearts that don’t know how to love, massage some into yourself so when the right one comes along you will be able to love again.


Women as well as men play this game, so don't rest on your laurels, be watchful. See a friendship for what it is. Take your sanity very seriously, no one is worth that much. The moment you start questioning that’s when you should start getting your acts together. Love is not hard. People who do not know how to love makes love hard! 

There comes a time where one should grab a no and walk away with it…bruh everything doesn’t have to be something. Be at peace with that.

WASTING TIME IS A DANGEROUS GAME.

I dare you to live a purpose driven life!

Remember ...Love Is Black And White!

Till then

Xoxo

Trapped Within Four Walls

The thing about four walls…I mean the thing about being trapped within four walls is that it makes your mind wander. It forces you to think, well for me at least. It slows you down, you see things in waves of perspectives. Maybe because the voices around you are less and the ones in your head becomes active and extremely loud.

Four Walls

Sometimes we are so busy dashing and running towards the finish line that we forget the purpose for which we started running in the first place. We become inattentive to the journey and we run right passed our blessings and we pay no mind to the things that really matters.

Ever so often the price is not as attractive as the beauty of the journey. When we look back we realise we have created memories we never cherished and moments that we’ll never get back. We only tend to appreciate the journey in the end.

We plan and we imagine, we dream and we vision the future, All the while forgetting the little important details along the way.  And above all we forget that our lives are not ours to plan. There is a master up there and he makes everything beautiful in his time. Not your time! Understand this and let that resonate.

I planned and imagined and I forgot there’s a God whose plans are better than mine, whose timing and plans are greater than mine and who’s able to make all things beautiful in his time. Did I actually forgot or was I too busy running a race i know nothing about?

Swimming in this euphoric water balloon. It was bliss. It was where you’ve longed to be, a place that felt like home, where all your fears are put to rest till the thought of the end churns your whole being. It was that place.

Don't Wake Me Up

Maybe I didn’t forget and I wasn’t busy either. Maybe I was just a little scared of the reality. Maybe I wasn’t mentally and emotionally prepared for my truth. Or maybe I knew the truth and it felt like a road I’ve walked before, a book I’ve read before and a very familiar story but the thought of it frightened me. I was terrified.

I knew!

Trapped within four walls...

Whilst everyone was popping bottles and cheering the New Year on I was in hospital fighting for my dear life. It happened so much that this was one of the severest attack I’ve had in a long time, medications that used to work, ceased to work on my body. My body was working against everything it was used to.

Was this a sign?

All through my years of fighting with this illness I have never been hospitalised over the New Year or even Christmas…so this was a first for me. God has his ways of pulling the stubborn ears of His children and i think i was just experiencing mine.

As I lay there I thought, they say everything happens for a reason….that thought kept me going and I knew I was going to pull through. I knew i was going to pull through because what was left to hang on to was just God and hope.

Respect The Journey...

I made plans for my new year’s already, I had things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see but God was laughing at me I’m sure and like a stubborn child he drew my ears and kept me in one place, trapped within four walls.

I needed that.

I am thankful that God hasn’t let me go, because I’ve let Him go, lots of times. He rescues me time and time and again.

The thing about these four walls…

I lay there in the hospital, nurses and doctors coming in and out and I toiling in pain and anguish. You have no idea!

What is the point of running and rushing if you’re going nowhere fast?

Take time to smell the flowers!

Every Once In a While, Slow Down.
You're Not That Busy!

We get so caught up in this race that we don’t even realise we are actually in a race. We do not give ourselves time to think and evaluate our lives. We allow life to take control of our lives. That is not living.

Well that’s what four walls are for…or we can call it recess. A time to evaluate and re-evaluate your life. Our lives must be handled with care and protection. Our lives must be full of purpose. Our lives be handled with love. Treat yourself in such a way that whoever comes into your life will not have a choice but to treat you even better. Remember you teach the world how to treat you.

Be Your Own Hero...

Let’s take a car for example, if you’re busy running this car in all directions without a regular check-up or any form of servicing, eventually it is going to stop serving its purpose and break down. Maybe out of lack of attention or maybe out of lack of care, other times its just mere exhaustion and abuse because things get tired too.

You have all these what ifs in your head and all these unanswered questions. We are seeing all the red flags and warning signs but we’re too busy running to the finish line. Even when you need to stop and service which could mean anything from consulting God to just simply resting and look how far we’ve come. Most times when you race like that, you get to the finish line and then you notice that you have been racing for no reason at all. By then it’s a tad too late.

Wasting time is a dangerous game. And time is a luxury not available to all.

Another thing that came to mind is that in every situation we find ourselves we must be able to give thanks to God. Just because we are in pain doesn’t mean we should be mean or rude. From my closed curtains in the hospital, I could hear the pain and anguish from the lady who was next to me. I had it bad but hers was no way compared to mine…..she had it worst. The easiest way to be grateful is to think that it could have been worse.

On that sick bed was where I evaluated my life. On that sick bed was where I made my New Year resolutions (yes I made couple and I am not going to tell you). On that sick bed was where I grew a new found appreciation for the simple fact that I know God. On that sick bed I handed my life back to God, where it belonged in the first place. On that sick bed I just wanted to know God more. On that sick bed I found a solace in God.

On that hospital bed was where I learnt few more valuable life lessons…

• You have to be your own hero (This wasn’t a quote for me anymore, this was my truth)
• You are stronger than you think, waaayyy stronger
• Miracles happen and there is a shift when you decide to FULLY trust God.
• Sometimes the hardest decisions we NEED to make are the ones that will hurt us the most
• As hard as it can be sometimes, try to be a good person
• People don’t owe you anything, always be grateful
• Just because you’re a good person does not mean that the world would be good to you.
• Self-discipline… Exercise and practice it
• God doesn’t give you a load you cannot carry
• It rains the hardest on those who deserves the sun
• It is okay to cry
• Always be stronger than what you suffer…whatever that is
• There is something about HOPE. Never lose sight of it.
• Don’t treat people the way they treat you, treat them better

Let That Bee Your Thing

This is the life, this is it. Some days are grey, some days are dark…some days darker than others. On better days the sun will shine for you and you will wonder if all that brightness is for you. Well that’s how life is.

Take one day at a time, the good, the bad and the ugly. Do not rush through life. Rely on God fully because with all your letters before and after your name, you still don't know it all. And never, never ever lose hope!

This is my own truth. What’s yours?

Till then

Xoxo